Any suggestions?

[LorraineC]

It's getting closer and closer to my surgery date and my anxiety is skyrocketing. I suppose a good portion of it is a healthy nervousness, but another portion of it is just running through "I'm gonna die on the operating table" (I'm a DNR, so if I code, that's it) and all these other horrid scenarios. It's driving me insane. I've tried meditation, taking a deep breath and even talking to the psychologist at work (she's one of my good friends and I trust her)
I know that some of this is normal, but all of this? Probably not.
Any advice? I've already given myself a firm talking to which included me internally yelling at myself to pull up my big girl britches, stfu and keep going.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Hi and welcome.

It is normal to be a little nervous and anxious because it is a major surgery, but if anxiety is a big problem for you I would ask a Dr to prescribe ativan or some other benzo to help your anxiety. You are going to do fine but that still doesn't stop worrying, so nothing wrong with asking for some meds to help calm you.

I would tell you to chill but that obviously is no help.

Best wishes for a smooth procedure and recovery.

 

[k9ophile]

I've had several surgeries and each time I get the dreaded thought that I won't survive. I think a lot of my problem is that I don't have any control even though I trust the surgeon and others in the operating theater. While I find it silly to have been that worried before surgery, those fears come up each new time. Like maybe I just got lucky and the next time I won't. I also feel that way whenever I fly i.e. I've flown hundreds of time without a crash, but maybe on the next one, my "luck" will run out.

I don't have any magic to offer you, just that this is a safe place to express your concerns. Sometimes just the act of acknowledging them let's a little air out them.

Ditto for best wishes ala Scott above.

 

[Butterfly]

@LorraineC I *so* get it. I'm 2 months away from surgery as of today, and I'm terrified of dying. I had the gastric sleeve done about 2.5 years ago and I did great but I'm still terrified as I know this surgery is a bigger deal.

Maybe what I tell myself will help you. I'm in nursing school and if there's one thing that I really believe when it comes to the surgeons I've met and through the nurses I know and talk to: They want a good outcome. They want one for you as a patient, but they want to have a good record of success. Having a patient that dies on the table isn't a success.

So they have us do preop testing. Maybe a cardiac clearance. Maybe a pulmonary clearance. Maybe they do an endoscopy. Bloodwork. There are numerous tests they do. In the end, there ARE people they turn down. They simply feel it's too much of a risk. Of course we're all warned that there can be complications up to and including death, but I truly believe that if they think you're too much of a risk, they'll let you know.

So I take comfort in my doctor's confidence in his abilities and the tests he's had me do preop. I'm grateful that his 0.1% mortality rate is under the national average.

But, I'm not going to lie, I may very well follow Scott's advice to you and ask the doctor for something to settle me down when it gets closer

 

[hilary1617]

@LorraineC , I'm sorry for your anxiety - it's no fun and we've all been there. It's only human. I suggest temporarily lifting the DNR. That might relieve some of the stress. Hang in there. All the best!

 

[Clematis]

I thought the same thing. What relaxed me was becoming sorta fatalistic. Fat, I was going to die a long painful death, maybe limb amputation from diabetes, etc, but if I died during surgery, I'd be unconscious and wouldn't feel a thing. And then maybe I could survive and finally LIVE.

You will never be as carefully monitored as you are during surgery. Every bodily function is so closely watched by a team of trained people.

Did you say you are DNR? Why is that? Do you have a terminal illness?

 

[Munchkin]

Your avie looks young so why the DNR? Is that causing your anxiety?

 

[LorraineC]

Hi and welcome.

It is normal to be a little nervous and anxious because it is a major surgery, but if anxiety is a big problem for you I would ask a Dr to prescribe ativan or some other benzo to help your anxiety. You are going to do fine but that still doesn't stop worrying, so nothing wrong with asking for some meds to help calm you.

I would tell you to chill but that obviously is no help.

Best wishes for a smooth procedure and recovery.

Thank you, Scott!
I guess worrying is just in my nature.

 

[LorraineC]

I've had several surgeries and each time I get the dreaded thought that I won't survive. I think a lot of my problem is that I don't have any control even though I trust the surgeon and others in the operating theater. While I find it silly to have been that worried before surgery, those fears come up each new time. Like maybe I just got lucky and the next time I won't. I also feel that way whenever I fly i.e. I've flown hundreds of time without a crash, but maybe on the next one, my "luck" will run out.

I don't have any magic to offer you, just that this is a safe place to express your concerns. Sometimes just the act of acknowledging them let's a little air out them.

Ditto for best wishes ala Scott above.

It does! I think keeping them bottled up just makes me more anxious and me being even more anxious makes me think the worst even more. It's a vicious cycle.

 

[LorraineC]

@LorraineC , I'm sorry for your anxiety - it's no fun and we've all been there. It's only human. I suggest temporarily lifting the DNR. That might relieve some of the stress. Hang in there. All the best!

Thank you!

 

[LorraineC]

@LorraineC I *so* get it. I'm 2 months away from surgery as of today, and I'm terrified of dying. I had the gastric sleeve done about 2.5 years ago and I did great but I'm still terrified as I know this surgery is a bigger deal.

Maybe what I tell myself will help you. I'm in nursing school and if there's one thing that I really believe when it comes to the surgeons I've met and through the nurses I know and talk to: They want a good outcome. They want one for you as a patient, but they want to have a good record of success. Having a patient that dies on the table isn't a success.

So they have us do preop testing. Maybe a cardiac clearance. Maybe a pulmonary clearance. Maybe they do an endoscopy. Bloodwork. There are numerous tests they do. In the end, there ARE people they turn down. They simply feel it's too much of a risk. Of course we're all warned that there can be complications up to and including death, but I truly believe that if they think you're too much of a risk, they'll let you know.

So I take comfort in my doctor's confidence in his abilities and the tests he's had me do preop. I'm grateful that his 0.1% mortality rate is under the national average.

But, I'm not going to lie, I may very well follow Scott's advice to you and ask the doctor for something to settle me down when it gets closer

You're in nursing school?! I'm a CNA in a hospital now and I have always wanted to be a nurse, but as a CNA I can hardly keep up with the patients I have now. (99.9% of it is due to weight)
I wan thinking about going to nursing school after losing some weight. I heard it's hectic, but as a med-surg CNA working at a county hospital, who has had to man the entire floor on more than 1 occasion (because we're always short) it can't be worse than that.

I guess my biggest fear is that the surgeons will be great, but my body will just shut down in the middle of the surgery and that will be it. It's so odd, I can comfort my patients who are [passing, but when it comes to myself, I'm a mess.

 

[LorraineC]

Your avie looks young so why the DNR? Is that causing your anxiety?

Probably. I can't stomach the thought of being a vegetable and being a burden on my family any more than I already am, so that's my reasoning behind being a DNR

 

[LorraineC]

I thought the same thing. What relaxed me was becoming sorta fatalistic. Fat, I was going to die a long painful death, maybe limb amputation from diabetes, etc, but if I died during surgery, I'd be unconscious and wouldn't feel a thing. And then maybe I could survive and finally LIVE.

You will never be as carefully monitored as you are during surgery. Every bodily function is so closely watched by a team of trained people.

Did you say you are DNR? Why is that? Do you have a terminal illness?

Yes, I'm DNR because I can't stand the thought of being a vegetable and being more of a burden on my family.
You are so right though, with how life would be without the surgery. That's my main reason for continuing to press along despite the anxiety. I need a better quality of life.

 

[galaxygrrl]

What gave me great comfort is that everyone here made it through and almost everyone is just fine. Take a deep breath, can't wait to see you post op!

 

[LorraineC]

What gave me great comfort is that everyone here made it through and almost everyone is just fine. Take a deep breath, can't wait to see you post op!

Thank you! I'm going to do my absolute best to be there in March. I'm bringing a friend who wants to have the DS, so she can learn more about it and meet Dr. Rabkin.