Nursing Home Transition for Elderly Parent

[k9ophile]

I went to a meeting last week-end and learned about the Pat Summit Foundation. Around here, she is a god. Part of her legacy is her foundation that might have some useful information. I respected her when she was coaching basketball at UT and her foundation is worthy of her name and values.

 

[JackieOnLine]

Pat Summit Foundation.

here is a link, sounds like a good organization.

 

[hilary1617]

Visit, call, and take him out as much as you can. Make sure he has a small stash of his favorite candy!

Will do my best!

 

[hilary1617]

So much good information.

None of this was available to us w/my stepfather (Alzheimer's confirmed postmortem.) With my mom, we made DIY versions of some things which are now available commercially.

I'm going to disagree a bit w/ Munchkin ...seldom a wise idea, but I'm on drugs. Outings would not have been easy for any of us, or enjoyable for my mom. As her dementia progressed, I had to keep in mind that everything was a challenge for her to understand. So, maybe a visit to a place she knew very well might have worked. But she'd have been pissed at any new experiences.

Re: Mom. Sandra Day O'Connor has recently announced that now she has Alzheimer's. But when she resigned from the Supreme Court, she did so due to her husband's dementia (or Alzheimer's, not sure.) She would visit him in his assisted living facility and he would introduce her to his girlfriend. Justice O'Connor would go, and visit, and he really didn't know her...but, boy!...he sure did like his new girlfriend.

In a Soldiers' Home...we no longer call them that here on the left coast...there won't be as many potential girlfriends. But warn Mom that he COULD fall for a female staff member! And, of course, she will need at least as much support as he's getting.

Hopefully she will become my neighbor relatively soon and we will be able to spend lots of time together. We talk every day. I think she'd handle a new girlfriend with grace and a bit of relief. I think she feels that she will have to spend all of visiting hours by his side, every day, which is too much for anyone, so a girlfriend would take away some of that pressure. She's a trooper. Strongest woman I've ever known, but I agree, she will need support to make it through this.

Best of luck to you and your dad. Moves are hard with dementia as I am sure you know. Don’t be surprised if the confusion increases since he will be in a new setting. Hopefully he will be able to call on his social skills and find some old soldiers to reminisce with. Blessings to you both.

Thanks so much. Fortunately he's been seeing doctors and dentists at the Soldiers' home for years, so those areas of the facilities and the grounds will be familiar to him. Hoping it all goes well. This is hard for all.

I went to a meeting last week-end and learned about the Pat Summit Foundation. Around here, she is a god. Part of her legacy is her foundation that might have some useful information. I respected her when she was coaching basketball at UT and her foundation is worthy of her name and values.

here is a link, sounds like a good organization.

Great idea. Thanks! I will visit the site shortly!

 

[hilary1617]

Well, that was as hard as anything I've ever done. Even though the facility is clean, the food is tasty and the nurses and aides are fantastic, my heart is broken. The upside is that dad is safe and in good hands and mom won't get hurt trying to exceed her physical capabilities in caring for him. Thanks for all of the advice - which was incredibly helpful.

 

[JackieOnLine]

Even though the facility is clean, the food is tasty and the nurses and aides are fantastic, my heart is broken.

 

[southernlady]

Well, that was as hard as anything I've ever done. Even though the facility is clean, the food is tasty and the nurses and aides are fantastic, my heart is broken. The upside is that dad is safe and in good hands and mom won't get hurt trying to exceed her physical capabilities in caring for him. Thanks for all of the advice - which was incredibly helpful.

It is hard.

 

[Susan in Tennessee]

Big hug to you!

 

[hilary1617]

It is hard.

Big hug to you!

Thanks Jackie, Liz and Susan. You're so kind!

 

[Larra]

Very hard! Hang in there, you did the right thing even though it was hard. It will be ok - not perfect, but life isn't perfect. It will be ok.

 

[hilary1617]

Very hard! Hang in there, you did the right thing even though it was hard. It will be ok - not perfect, but life isn't perfect. It will be ok.

Thanks, Larra.