Just another Tuesday, 2020 Style.

[Spiky Bugger]

1- BIL back in hospital. Probably an infection, but they will observe him for a day or two.

2- I’ve been loaded all day. Bladder issues. Not sure if I’m harboring a UTI, playing Interstitial Cystitis games or trying to pass a kidney stone. So I prescribed Urispas (for spasms), Pyridium (so I can pee orange) and FloMax (for my prosta...wait...ah, yes, to soften up the parts a stone might try to pass through.). And I go for labs tomorrow, so I had them add a UA w/culture and sensitivity to the list.

3- And then there was the Comic Relief part of today. A 3-way text with MySis, a Cuz and me. (This cuz is the older daughter of my second-loopiest aunt who is definitely on the Spectrum, especially with dates and events, which makes today’s mystery special, but with a Jesus Twist. She’s the one who used to unplug her phone for the month of January to save money. And who drove from the Northern parts of CA to the Southern…many hours…with an apple, a banana and an orange and sang hymns the whole way so she wouldn’t be hungry. She was the self-appointed volunteer at a local law enforcement agency for years. They kept giving her retirement parties, but she kept coming back. Even when they removed her desk!). Anyway, 3-way texting...

Cuz: To get Mom a Real ID, I need to find a copy of her marriage certificate. The only paperwork I can’t find in her stuff. I don’t know the month/day, figuring early 1954 when my dad got out of the Navy. She never talked about it and I don’t think I ever saw a photo. And Mom doesn’t remember.

Me: What’s your DOB?

Cuz: 12/06/1954

Me: Lol…okay…THAT’S why she “doesn’t remember.” The marriage records online say they were married 05/22/1954. So you were covered under the “pregnancies last nine months, except for the first baby, which can come at any time” rule.
...
Cuz: Wow! And I thought Aunt [the actual loopiest] was the wild girl.

Me: See? Same here. [MySis] was WAY wilder than I was, but quiet. I was only rowdy, not especially wild. Your mom was the quiet one. THOSE are the ones you have to keep an eye on.

MySis: Copy that. I have to go now.



I’m just trying to warn y’all about your Golden Years.
Additional warning: FloMax causes your bladder to become Gravity Operated. The more you know...

 

[DianaCox]

Does your Cuz realize her mother knows perfectly well her wedding date, and that the marriage certificate has been hidden from her or destroyed deliberately? In other words, that her mother is lying to her, and has been for 66 years?

How/when did her parents celebrate their anniversary when she was growing up?

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Does your Cuz realize her mother knows perfectly well her wedding date, and that the marriage certificate has been hidden from her or destroyed deliberately? In other words, that her mother is lying to her, and has been for 66 years?

How/when did her parents celebrate their anniversary when she was growing up?

Lying?!?

Oh, no!

They are ALL ABOUT the 10 Commandments and Jesus and praise and prayer...so it never occurred to her that her mother would be lying. It occurred to me right away, because of the Spectrum-y behavior.
Example: A young woman from her neighborhood attempted suicide via jumping off a really high bridge. That was a little over 70 years ago. But she can tell you all about it, including date and time. She was a clerk-typist in a university engineering department. They had a project that included a cross country route. When we were talking, I mentioned my grandfather’s (not her dad, my OTHER grandfather‘s) small-ish home town. Like a robot, a decade after the event, she recited the date and time the project arrived at and departed from that town.

So, as soon as Cuz said her mother didn’t remember, I was SEVERELY suspicious.

Actual response, Cuz’s parents were separated for a while and divorced in 1966, When she was 12, so no anniversary parties that she might recall.





.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

BIL was dehydrated but, they said, he PROBABLY has COVID-19, but test results will take five days, so they sent him home.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Does your Cuz realize her mother knows perfectly well her wedding date, and that the marriage certificate has been hidden from her or destroyed deliberately? In other words, that her mother is lying to her, and has been for 66 years?

How/when did her parents celebrate their anniversary when she was growing up?

And, please note, the ONLY question I asked Cuz was her DOB. I kind of already knew that they ONLY date my 2nd Loopiest Aunt would forget was one that was inconvenient...like a daughter’s birth less than nine months after the marriage date.


For the files: the reason she isn’t the Loopiest Aunt is that SHE did not paint her car with green, interior, water-based, flat paint and a roller. Also, when they got ugly, her window screens were NOT all painted silver. * But Loopiest Aunt was a Godsend to her siblings and their spouses. She had no children, she always brought her camera, she gathered up all 14 of us kids and took us on a hike, for at least an hour, after big old family holiday dinners and we always ended up at the soft-serve ice cream place on the way back. Meanwhile, the ladies—free of kids AND my Loopiest Aunt—did the clean-up...which included keeping my poor little loopy grandmother from trying to wash paper plates and hang them on her clothesline to dry. Really. And the men, of, course, all sat on the chairs and couches and dissolved into a chorus of synchronized post-pasta snoring.

Italian-American-Sexist-Aspergery-Holiday Memories.





*ETA: Loopiest Aunt also rented an apartment with a storefront for her “shop.” It was in an area where no one would suspect a business to exist. I don’t think she advertised or had any actual ADULT customers. But her inventory consisted of television cathode ray tubes (at that time, you could remove tubes that you thought failed…they looked like burned out lightbulbs…take them to the grocery store and test them and buy replacements) and hard candy and cheap little toys like you might find in a Happy Meal. She called it a TV Repair Shop. We found it by finding the green car. The only customers I ever saw were neighbor kids buying candy.

So you can stop wondering why Sue is “weird.”

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Oh, again.

Cuz texted this:

At our church high school group, my sister and I were not allowed to go to the wedding of our group leaders. He was a firefighter, marrying a girl who had been married before. We couldn’t go because the bride was going to wear a white dress.

 

[JackieOnLine]

Spiky Bugger you love telling these stories, right? and we love hearing them. why are you not writing your autobiography?

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Spiky Bugger you love telling these stories, right? and we love hearing them. why are you not writing your autobiography?

Thank you. But the minute it becomes “an assignment,” aka “something I need to sit down and do,” I revert to my 11-12 year-old status and refuse to do anything that sounds like homework.

 

[hilary1617]

Loopiest-aunt-in-training here, reporting for duty. Why not aspire to be a family legend!

Hope BIL recovers soon AND that area hospital gets faster-turnaround COVID test capabilities.

Sorry for the bladder issues. This too shall pass!