Child protection/custody issues

[Spiky Bugger]

Daughter's BF has psycho almost-ex-wife (who keeps delaying things) who is getting crazier by the minute. The divorce (Psycho's idea) was ALMOST a done deal until it was discovered that Psycho makes more money than BF and must pay HIM child support, on an every other week cuustody arrangement.

So now Psycho wants their daughter every weekend. Reason #1--because of the hours of my job and the child's need to attend school, I don't see her enough. Reason #2--the eight-year-old boy next door to her dad's house kissed her on the cheek this summer and he's weird. (Real Reason...it would cancel Psycho's child support obligation.)

My kid had previously wondered why an allergy visit that Psycho took the little girl to involved a pelvic exam. Fear of diaper-type rash...or is Psycho asking for pelvic exams, on a four-year-old, to discover and document alleged sexual abuse?

And, had there been any signs of abuse, the doctor should have reported same immediately and, as far as we know, nothing has been reported.

So, the dad wants to know how to be proactive. He's afraid that his crazy almost-ex will send cops and CPS to subject the kid to questions and exams and all kinds of trauma because the weird boy next door kissed her on the cheek, one time, over the summer.

I told him to get the medical records and see if Psycho is trying to create an abuse case, using the child as a weapon.

Any ideas on what Dad can do to keep his daughter out of that type of mess? How can CPS be given a heads up that Psycho Mom is this crazy and capable of subjecting her daughter to invasive crap to save money on child support? (If she gets the kid every weekend, then the money would even out and she wouldn't owe the Dad anythng.)

 

[DianaCox]

1) Dad is entitled to have weekends with his kid too, so HE can take her to events, family outings, weekend trips, etc., that can only happen on a weekend - Mom's crazy work schedule is her problem, not his. If it is such a problem for her, she should change HER job and/or lifestyle to enable her to spend more of her 50% time with her child, not take it from Dad. Child attends school when she is with Dad too, doesn't she?

2) Dad's lawyer (and if there is a guardian ad litem for the child, the guardian) should be notified of invasive and inappropriate medical exams being demanded by Mom, without any reasonable cause. And Dad should be entitled to a copy of child's medical records - get them after every appointment, and demand that the custody orders include providing notice of EVERY medical, dental, psych, counseling or other type of appointment with a health care professional, as well as a copy of the medical record. If there is no guardian, I would ask for one (Dad should check with his lawyer about this, but that's what comes to mind here).

3) If there is a judge assigned to the case s/he should be advised about this behavior - it sounds to me like attempted custodial interference. I would advise Dad not to agree with this AT ALL. He is entitled to his 50% time, including weekends.

 

[JackieOnLine]

oh, geez, I just hate hearing about the kind of parent who would put money ahead of what their kid needs. and a four year old? OMG.

 

[brooklyngirl]

This poor kid is on the road to a lifetime of therapy