And y’all think *I’m* crazy.

[Spiky Bugger]

So my youngest, and last, uncle died a couple of weeks ago. Today, a card arrived in my goofiest aunt‘s incoming snail mail...telling her that her last remaining brother died at the end of May...and that they will decide what to do about services when they receive the ashes from the “donated to science” folks.

So the goofiest aunt’s daughter sent my sister and me a copy of the card. So I then ”had to” let another cousin know. That’s the cousin I “had to“ inform that her brother had died...two months earlier. That was AFTER I told yet another cousin that her mom had died. Interestingly enough, while we were in constant contact as kids...we have close to zero contact as adults. So, when I suddenly appear In my cousins’ lives, out of the shadows, they know someone has left the building.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Okay...so I was bitchy.

When I texted the cousin (the one whose brother‘s death was a secret for two months), I wrote,

At the risk of being called snarky, I will merely comment that this is an interesting way for practicing shrinks to deliver a family death notification to a sibling.

She wrote back, “Are we dysfunctional?”

I responded that her husband, a physician, could easily have “5150 holds“* placed on all of us.

*For Floridians, that’s like a Baker Act hold. Those are the only two states I know.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I'm sorry to hear you lost your (last!) Uncle.

(now that I think of it, I might be out of Aunts and Uncles. I think I'll email my cousine and ask)

 

[hilary1617]

I'm sorry for your loss and also sorry that it falls upon your shoulders to inform family members when others pass. That's hard.

My mom lost her best childhood friend (COVID) and then her favorite cousin (bladder infection oddly?) recently within a span of a couple of day of other. I quickly had to notify her of the latter by phone in advance of her reading about it on facebook - as a distant relative started posting about it before the cousin's wife had gotten through her list. There's no great way to tell someone of a loss, but I wish it had happened in person (not possible due to loose lips) and with a hug (not possible due to pandemic). At least we could have a conversation.

A letter in the mail about a sibling lost is pretty darn unkind.

 

[MsVee]

When my neighbor passed his daughter reached out to her best friend on Facebook and before they made it home from the hospital everyone in the neighborhood knew of the passing.
Technology has definitely changed the way we communicate with each other. In some ways it is much faster but it seems much more impersonal.

 

[JackieOnLine]

so much extra sadness with this virus.

 

[DianaCox]

One of my first cousin’s not terribly bright adult children posted that her “favorite grandmother” died on Sunday. I waited for more details to be posted (we’re FB friends, but almost never interact) to try to figure out who she meant - I didn’t know if this was how we were to find out that my father’s sister (physically well, but very far gone in dementia, and in an SNF in NJ) had passed. Her further details mentioned her grandmother was very religious and had dementia, which did not rule out my aunt.

I finally had to reach out to one of my aunt’s daughters the next day to ask gently who had passed. It was her other grandmother.