what surgery would you recommend?

[Charris]

Well my daughter gained 125 during her pregnancy. She has only lost 25 of it and Toot will be 2 in ten months. I had my first wls at her age. We go to the gym 5 days a week. She is use to being a tiny girl. So I told her do the supervised diet and go to gym and I would support her decision.

Well SHE ABSOLUTELY SUCKS WITH TAKING MEDICATION. Even her prenatals. So I definitely would have concerns about her getting a DS but realize she might need the malabsorption because everyone in my gets diabetes with sever consequences . I'm not sure about the sleeve because she drinks most of her calories 6 cups 52oz of DR. PEPPER so she could out drink her surgery. Then we have the good old RNY. Everyone knows the crap band is not an option.

I'm thinking that she should sleeve then if need be later in life she could be switched if need be. I wonder would Dr. K buy giving her a more gentle DS with longer cc. I really would not feel comfortable advocating for the right to kill herself with the DS..

 

[DianaCox]

This is Diana with her Bad Cop hat on:

Sorry - but there is no way in hell she is ready for ANY surgery. Period. Except perhaps tubal ligation, if she is so immature and irresponsible to not bother to take prenatals WHILE PREGNANT, and risk her unborn baby's health, much less her own.

And why are you making such an odd exaggeration that "Toot will be 2 in ten months"?? - Toot is 14 months old, not anywhere NEAR 2 years old. It sounds like you are trying to justify pushing surgery on her. SHE.IS.NOT.READY.OR.CAPABLE.OF.HANDLING.ANY.SURGERY!!

 

[chevtow]

I have to agree with Diana. She can't be too ready to change if she's still sucking down that much soda and refuses to take vitamins/meds. Unfortunately she sounds like she has some growing up to do 1st.

 

[Charris]

@DianaCox the 10 months was a text to type mistake. Toot is actually 19 months.

 

[DianaCox]

Oh, OK - that makes more sense! It seemed like an odd way to describe how old he is, and thus how long it has been since she gave birth!

But - it doesn't change my opinion. WLS should not be considered a "quick fix" but rather a last resort, after you have modified everything you are capable of controlling, and showed some maturity and self-control in matters such as drinking liquid sugar and taking vitamins, when those things are REQUIRED to maintain your health.

 

[Munchkin]

Sorry but I very much agree with Diana. She can't fix her genetics or predisposition to obesity. But she needs to fix the easy things before she considers surgery. SF Dr. Pepper is pretty good!

 

[Larra]

@Charris, I hate to pile it on, but not only is she not ready (translation, not mature enough regardless of her chronologic age) for any bariatric surgery, there is no operation that would be successful for her if she consumes lots of liquid calories, and two operations (DS and gastric bypass) that would be flat out dangerous for anyone who won't take vitamins. VSG would be safer but unsuccessful. And we all agree about lap band not even being worth consideration.
Give her time. Let her struggle with her weight for awhile, and I don't know how long "awhile" is in her case. At some point she may realize that she has to get serious about vitamins and stopping the liquid calories. Or maybe she'll never reach that point. Not every MO person has bariatric surgery, in fact the vast majority never do. That's sad in a way because so few people will get to a healthy weight without surgery, but that's reality. So support her efforts with exercise and diet, she already knows the surgery exists and if she wants it badly enough she'll get serious.

 

[Kassandra]

It sounds very dangerous for her to even consider the malabsorptive surgeries at this time @Charris . Especially knowing that she already has a problem taking pills/ meds. Seems like that could cause other medical issues in the future, not to mention fatal ones, that would be even more problematic for a mother raising a young child. I interpeted your mention of Toot's age as a reason she wants to get healthy, and it just sounds counterproductive for someone who already doesn't have the dedication t do what is needed. The soda addiction might also be what is hindering her weight loss?

 

[Elizabeth N.]

She should not waste time and money and risk on ANY WLS until she becomes willing to make the necessary life changes.

 

[hilary1617]

In the first instance, I'd probably counseling, actually, because it seems like she has an unhealthy relationship with Dr. Pepper and I'm guessing that may extend to other foods.

It must be hard to see her at an uncomfortable weight. I definitely can sympathize with you. I struggle with how best to help my overweight tween son without causing harm / undermining his sense of independence or self-confidence, and it's an uphill battle given his genes.

 

[Charris]

@hilary1617 she loves food. Not junk food but home cooked meals. She is the first to admit that she needs help for her addiction to food.

I think basically her metabolism changed while she was pregnant. She before could drop weight very quickly. She keeps saying but you had it at my age. To which my response is I had to I was dying. My H1c was 9 and I was taking 8 insulin shots a day. Other that being fat this child has no comorbities.

I understand her feeling desperate but surgery is a big step. So that's why I got her gym membership with child care and a personal trainer. She's been dedicated so far 5 days a week for 2 weeks straight.

 

[bearmom]

Oh gosh that's tough, when the one regret I have about my WLS (and same I've read from many others) is that I didn't have it sooner.

I guess there is one thing I know even more than that, and it's that I and I alone had to be ready for me to take on WLS. Your daughter isn't there, and that has to be hard. You can help her by making it clear what your non-negotiables and limitations are, like having her see you take your vitamins multiple times a day, even when it'a a PITA, and that you have to forego excessive sugar and carbs. I suspect she'll tire of the struggle, and take a more serious look at what is required, and hopefully before the co-morbs start in.

 

[marissamast]

Well my daughter gained 125 during her pregnancy. She has only lost 25 of it and Toot will be 2 in ten months. I had my first wls at her age. We go to the gym 5 days a week. She is use to being a tiny girl. So I told her do the supervised diet and go to gym and I would support her decision.

Well SHE ABSOLUTELY SUCKS WITH TAKING MEDICATION. Even her prenatals. So I definitely would have concerns about her getting a DS but realize she might need the malabsorption because everyone in my gets diabetes with sever consequences . I'm not sure about the sleeve because she drinks most of her calories 6 cups 52oz of DR. PEPPER so she could out drink her surgery. Then we have the good old RNY. Everyone knows the crap band is not an option.

I'm thinking that she should sleeve then if need be later in life she could be switched if need be. I wonder would Dr. K buy giving her a more gentle DS with longer cc. I really would not feel comfortable advocating for the right to kill herself with the DS..

I'm thinking she should stop POISONING herself with the Dr Pepper and she probably would lose most of the weight on her own. Soda addiction is so bad for you!

 

[hilary1617]

@Charris So glad she has taken you up on the fitness club offer! I hope that helps both improve her relationship with food and makes the lightbulb turn on about the importance of putting health first. You are an awesome mom.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Just tell her I said that every glass/bottle/can of Dr.Pepper is her way of telling the world to be looking for Toot's stepmom. And he will also will need one if she has bariatric surgery and doesn't take supplements as she should.

(Also, it's a bit insulting that she obviously thinks this is the easy way out...says the old woman who just spent an hour setting up her next two weeks' worth of supplements.)