The pope says I'm selfish.

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bearmom

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Selfishness - being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

Wow.

Methinks the pope clearly runs in different circles. The majority of people I know that work for the good of others and volunteer happen to be childless. I honestly don't feel a better contribution could be made by driving kids around to friends homes or sporting events.

Some friends with kids (actually, sort of leaving my friend zone for some of these reasons) I feel were hugely selfish for HAVING babies. I don't think it's fair to a baby to drag it into our messes if we can't even take care of ourselves financially, emotionally, or to expect society to foot the bills of our choices.

And for the "unschoolers" that are choosing to let NO education happen, W.T.F. Playing World of warcraft with your kids all day every day, for years now is tragic. I sort of get the avoidance of public schools, but the choice of literally no alternative education is neglect. No, they are not so smart that education is pointless. No, they will not become brain surgeons because they have such awesome hand/eye coordination from their stupid computer game skills.

And my buddies teen daughter is now having a baby that they are over the moon about, I don't get it. She's 15, dropping out to have it (yes, keeping it, not adopting) and has no job or home other than her parents. She has a 15 yo boyfriend that is the father, and she MEANT to get pregnant (apparently not the boy, just her). This is not good for her, the boy, or the baby.

Despite my snotty whining, I really like kids, but am feeling very dismayed at more than a few of my irresponsible and SELFISH parent friends, and figured it may be more useful to whine here, as discussing concerns with them isn't particularly useful.

Seriously though, while not catholic or religious, I had thought this pope was hopefully more enlightened and that it would be a good thing since so many actually do give a crap about what he says, but nope. Benedict, now known as pope ******.
 
well, wait a minute, the pope says if you don't have kids you are selfish? because if so, I missed that.


I had thought this pope was hopefully more enlightened

he is! but it's a pretty low bar, let's face it :(

And for the "unschoolers" that are choosing to let NO education happen, W.T.F. Playing World of warcraft with your kids all day every day, for years now is tragic.

this is a thing?!
 
And for the "unschoolers" that are choosing to let NO education happen, W.T.F. Playing World of warcraft with your kids all day every day, for years now is tragic. I sort of get the avoidance of public schools, but the choice of literally no alternative education is neglect. No, they are not so smart that education is pointless.

I did ONE year of UNschooling...my daughter was way ahead of everyone and getting bored in class so her 8th grade year, we "homeschooled" her. My goal that year was to teach her she needed to be on a schedule. This was a child who would easily sleep thru a nuclear holocaust going off right next to her. We watched her sleep thru a BIG BEN alarm clock (remember those) set right next to her ear for an HOUR! So that year, my only concern was teaching her to respond to an alarm clock. She HAD to be up by 9AM (better than 12 noon).

Back then she lived online...the computer was parked in our bedroom so getting online meant dealing with us. (1998). We also had it password locked at the BIOS level and password locked the screensaver as well. If she left it too long, she had to get us to unlock it. First offense was no internet for 2 days. Second offense was grounding for a week, and no internet. Third offense was a month long. So she got to the third offense...I waited...and one morning, sure enough she didn't come up for air til 110AM...and wandered in to explain to me that she had been whisked off during her sleep and ended up on "Mars time". This explanation lasted almost 45 mins...and I did NOT crack a smile! At the end, she looked at me, said "I'm still grounded, right?" I said yeap. When I told dh, I was howling with laughter but never let her know. Okay, I did later on when she was grown and on her own! Even now I smile over Mars Time.

Btw, at the end of that year, we tested her out...she was suppose to go into the 8th grade by year/age but tested out to the 9th and skipped the 8th altogether. And she stayed in public school til she graduated Cum Laude.

It wasn't until the real world, that our insistence on getting up to an alarm clock really was understood. Amazing how facing an employer is far more intimidating because of tardiness is far more of an issue than facing parents.
 
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Up front I have to admit that I'm Catholic and that for the most part I adore Pope Francis. Certainly better than Benedict. But having found and read the article that I think you are referring to @bearmom (I found it on npr from this past Thursday) I am deeply disappointed in him. I can't have children and desperately wanted to but it wasn't going to happen for me. There is nothing selfish about choosing not to have children because of the circumstances of your life whatever those circumstances may be. In fact I would have said that that is the opposite of being selfish.
 
So...all the nuns are selfish, too? What an ass.

The Catholic Church has endorsed and promoted institutional hatred for women for a while now. (Read the book Eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven.)

I find it both appalling and amusing that so many people profess to be adherents to that faith, while simultaneously ignoring so many of "the big rules," (if all the Catholics who use birth control were excommunicated, it would be a small group indeed )...and how many church officials conveniently ignore those failings along with little things like pedophilia. Especially when contributions are generous.
 
I did ONE year of UNschooling...my daughter was way ahead of everyone and getting bored in class so her 8th grade year, we "homeschooled" her. My goal that year was to teach her she needed to be on a schedule. This was a child who would easily sleep thru a nuclear holocaust going off right next to her. We watched her sleep thru a BIG BEN alarm clock (remember those) set right next to her ear for an HOUR! So that year, my only concern was teaching her to respond to an alarm clock. She HAD to be up by 9AM (better than 12 noon).

Back then she lived online...the computer was parked in our bedroom so getting online meant dealing with us. (1998). We also had it password locked at the BIOS level and password locked the screensaver as well. If she left it too long, she had to get us to unlock it. First offense was no internet for 2 days. Second offense was grounding for a week, and no internet. Third offense was a month long. So she got to the third offense...I waited...and one morning, sure enough she didn't come up for air til 110AM...and wandered in to explain to me that she had been whisked off during her sleep and ended up on "Mars time". This explanation lasted almost 45 mins...and I did NOT crack a smile! At the end, she looked at me, said "I'm still grounded, right?" I said yeap. When I told dh, I was howling with laughter but never let her know. Okay, I did later on when she was grown and on her own! Even now I smile over Mars Time.

Btw, at the end of that year, we tested her out...she was suppose to go into the 8th grade by year/age but tested out to the 9th and skipped the 8th altogether. And she stayed in public school til she graduated Cum Laude.

It wasn't until the real world, that our insistence on getting up to an alarm clock really was understood. Amazing how facing an employer is far more intimidating because of tardiness is far more of an issue than facing parents.

I guess my original post sounds like I'm against everything, when I'm definitely not. While I'm not a huge fan of the public school system, in part because people learn differently, and to learn in public school, you need to learn adequately from the cookie cutter molds they have. Too many kids and too little resources - I get it, and they do what they can. I am in fact a huge fan of home schooling, and have seen many thrive and accel with it (and some not, but due mainly to lazy parents). I believe in education, and some of the most successful students I've known were home schooled with involved parents.

What I've been struggling with are friends that are now "unschooling" and I'm not sure if that's just the new term for homeschooling, or if they are just giving it a bad name. When I first heard of it I thought it was something like self directed learning, and helping students more thoroughly explore things they show an interest in. So like if you go for a walk in the nature trails, and maybe saw a banana slug or some fragrant blooming shrub (this scenario because this was exactly my morning, lol) that could lead to further learning by looking up species and learning more about them. Any outing could turn into a geology, biology, or geography learning experience.

Maybe I'm too far out of the loop, but what I have seen is parents putting electronic gadgets into babies hands (I mean ipads, and I mean before walking) and then saying they will gravitate toward what interests them and learn from life. So I now see kids that have literally learned nothing but to play a computer game, 12+ hours a day, the oldest of which are entering their teens. We've actually quit associating with 4 people we care about because they seem to be parenting their kids so recklessly. These were mostly people who THEMSELVES were lucky enough to attend private schools and receive top notch secondary educations. How can they not see the benefits they have reaped and want the same for their children? And now risk sending their kids into the world with real handicaps?

If it's not obvious that this has been getting under my skin for a few years now, the popes comment about people remaining childless really set me off. Like a parent, since so many look to him for guidance and hang on his every word, he should have been wiser about those words.
 
Maybe I'm too far out of the loop, but what I have seen is parents putting electronic gadgets into babies hands (I mean ipads, and I mean before walking) and then saying they will gravitate toward what interests them and learn from life. So I now see kids that have literally learned nothing but to play a computer game, 12+ hours a day, the oldest of which are entering their teens.
I've seen that...not a fan but then again, they are my grandkids and I can't disown them. So I deal with it.
 

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