Lying Liars on the new OH R&R3.0

[hilary1617]

Just to help with awareness of what is a painful personal issue for my family, my 10 year old son suffers from a condition called encopresis, which is basically fecal incontinence in n potty-trained children. While not talked about much due to its humiliating nature, it is a fairly common condition. For us, the onset was at age 8 when my son suffered a severe constipation/impaction event that resulted in megacolon and severe nerve damage which has for two years now prevented him from knowing when he has to go to the bathroom. Further he has loose stool "leakage" which occurs between bowel movements.

Most often encopresis is caused by constipation (often chronic) and withholding due to painful bowel movements. It is sometimes, but very rarely due to behavioral issues. Diet can be a factor as can be genetics, but the primary cause is usually constipation and pain. My son's paternal grandfather had the same issue as a child - it was a dark family secret that we only learned about once our son suffered with it too. There is no cure other than tincture of time.

It is a horrible cross for him (or any child) to bear. He worries about going to middle school next year and having to change in the locker room where kids will spot his Depends. He can't sleep over at friends' houses for fear of being found out. He has accidents in the wrong places at the wrong time. He is uncomfortable and we've had to give him enemas. He has to eat a restricted diet and sit on the toilet at timed intervals. He would do *anything* to be better.

 

[Terri]

Just to help with awareness of what is a painful personal issue for my family, my 10 year old son suffers from a condition called encopresis, which is basically fecal incontinence in n potty-trained children. While not talked about much due to its humiliating nature, it is a fairly common condition. For us, the onset was at age 8 when my son suffered a sever constipation/impaction event that resulted in megacolon and severe nerve damage which has for two years now prevented him from knowing when he has to go to the bathroom. Further he has loose stool "leakage" which occurs between bowel movements. t timed intervals).

Most often encopresis is caused by constipation (often chronic) and withholding due to painful bowel movements. It is sometimes, but very rarely due to behavioral issues. Diet can be a factor as can be genetics, but the primary causee is usually constipation and pain. My son's paternal grandfather had the same issue as a child - only it was a dark family secret that we only learned about once our son suffered with it too. There is no cure other than tincture of time.

It is a horrible cross for him (or any child) to bear. He worries about going to middle school next year and having to change in the locker room where kids will spot his Depends. He can't sleep over at friends' houses for fear of being found out. He has accidents in the wrong places at the wrong time. He is uncomfortable and we've had to give him enemas. He has to eat a restricted diet and sit on the toilet at timed intervals. He would do *anything* to be better.

Your poor son. It is bad to suffer from any condition. However one like this that he fears being made fun of or shut out if his friends learn he has it has to be stressful for him. As a parent I know you have to worry about the encopresis and his mental well being as well.

 

[JackieOnLine]

that is so sad, Hilary, how hard that must be. so, they do expect it to improve?

 

[Sheanie]

Just to help with awareness of what is a painful personal issue for my family, my 10 year old son suffers from a condition called encopresis, which is basically fecal incontinence in n potty-trained children. While not talked about much due to its humiliating nature, it is a fairly common condition. For us, the onset was at age 8 when my son suffered a sever constipation/impaction event that resulted in megacolon and severe nerve damage which has for two years now prevented him from knowing when he has to go to the bathroom. Further he has loose stool "leakage" which occurs between bowel movements. t timed intervals).

Most often encopresis is caused by constipation (often chronic) and withholding due to painful bowel movements. It is sometimes, but very rarely due to behavioral issues. Diet can be a factor as can be genetics, but the primary causee is usually constipation and pain. My son's paternal grandfather had the same issue as a child - only it was a dark family secret that we only learned about once our son suffered with it too. There is no cure other than tincture of time.

It is a horrible cross for him (or any child) to bear. He worries about going to middle school next year and having to change in the locker room where kids will spot his Depends. He can't sleep over at friends' houses for fear of being found out. He has accidents in the wrong places at the wrong time. He is uncomfortable and we've had to give him enemas. He has to eat a restricted diet and sit on the toilet at timed intervals. He would do *anything* to be better.

I always suspected my nephew had something like this really going on. The problem is his mother, who deals with most issues with denial. My nephew was a premie when he was born at 20 weeks gestation (or so my sister said) and had NEC twice, reportedly resulting in abdominal surgeries to remove the necrotized intestine. This resulted in his problems, my sister maintains. What I witnessed firsthand was his dancing around as a child, avoiding using the bathroom until it "passed", resulting in impaction. He had several impactions removed, so this megacolon makes perfect sense. He can go for hours on end and still have to go more, when he finally gets around to it.

Thanks for the explanation, @hilary1617

 

[hilary1617]

I wish I knew when my son would outgrow it. We held him out of school for the first 3 weeks, thinking it would be over "soon" and that we couldn't possibly send him to 3rd grade in diapers. Then we came to the horrible realization that it wasn't temporary. The first "accident" happened on Halloween eve while we were out trick 'or treating (before he ate candy!), so that holiday is a poignant reminder to us of how long it has been.

He has fewer accidents these days, which I think is due more to having arrived at a decent management approach than healing as he still cannot feel any urges. Did your nephew outgrow it? If not, I can share the coping strategy that has worked best for us.

It's hard to deal with, but he's generally a happy-go-lucky kid and life is very kind to him in most other ways. Thanks for the compassion, everyone!

Back to the main topic at hand, I'm so sorry for those who've had experiences with opportunistic sociopaths, for lack of a better term. There are few things more painful than betrayal or more frustrating than liars. When I was young, cuter and far more naïve, I had a brief, but significant stalking incident by an unstable man who didn't know me but wanted a relationship with me. I had to move cross country for my safety. That was scary, but easily went away with distance. I can't imagine being stalked or conned in some material way by a friend or family member with actionable knowledge about me. My sister and I definitely are opposites and I don't truly understand her, but I would trust her with my life and my funds any day. I've been blessed with good trustworthy friends. Please don't lose your faith in humanity. There are a lot of good folks out there!

 

[DianaCox]

This is why you don't hire me to be your attorney EXCEPT in patent matters. "Fraud in the inducement" is an equitable defense, not a crime itself:

• Fraud in the inducement is an equitable defense, and occurs when A enters into an agreement, knowing that it is supposed to be a contract and (at least having a rough idea) what the agreement is about, but the reason A signed/made the agreement was because of some false information that B gave to A. For example, suppose John tells his mother to sign a deed giving him her property, Mom refuses at first, but then John falsely tells her that the bank will foreclose on the property unless she signs it over to him. If Mom signs the deed because of this statement from John, and John tries to enforce the deed, Mom can plead "fraud in the inducement."

 

[Sheanie]

No, @hilary1617 , my nephew never outgrew his bowel problems. It sounds like you actually make him wear incontinent protection. I tried to get my sister to have her son do that, but she refused, saying it would ruin his self-esteem. Instead, she threw out his underwear and bought new ones. Didn't wash them. And the contamination was all over my house. A black light will reveal feces and urine on furniture, human or animal. Still, my sister claimed it was from the dogs. We all had strep throat, because they never washed their hands or took showers. The boys would run the hot water, and come out of the bathroom with dry hair, dry soap in the tub, and dry towels. Toothbrushes never used, either.

@DianaCox , my sister begged for help from every family member. They all pestered me, saying I was the only one with the means to help her. We maxed out our credit cards and spent over $15K helping her, then moved her in with us from Texas. I flew down and drove the moving van, while her husband was up here staying with his mother, who had breast cancer, for 18 days. We all took out PPO's against him due to Mary's story that he wanted us dead. Every time we gave her money or paid on her behalf, she said "I'll pay you back", "You are first on my list", "As soon as I get my divorce settlement", and "It's as good as money in the bank". Like Judge Judy says, a loan becomes a gift when it becomes due. When her divorce was final and I asked for our money, she disputed it was a loan, calling it a gift. Then she told our parents that I FORCED her to accept the money. Then she bought her new boyfriend a 1978 collector's car that cost almost as much as she owed us.

We still get collection calls about her, and we give them all the information they need, including aliases, employment, etc. She also hung us with damages to an apartment she ruined with pet urine for $2600. It soaked through into the ceiling of the unit below hers, if you can imagine. I was smart enough not to co-sign the lease, but I did put down the security deposit. That's when I hired an attorney and sued her, only to find out she re-opened the bankruptcy **I** paid for and added us on.

I really should write a book. The title would be Teflon Mary, except the Teflon company would probably sue me.

 

[DianaCox]

You can probably use "Teflon Mary" without being sued by DuPont for trademark infringment. There is a rapper named "Teflon Don" who got into a TM infringment case with another person using the same name, and the DuPont TM never was involved.

"Infringement can still take place even if the trademark is not being used for the exact same thing. A trademark owner has rights to enforce its mark in the particular class of goods or services it is currently registered in as well as those classes of goods or services to which it will “naturally expand into,” according to the Zone of Natural Expansion doctrine."​

Your use is unrelated to actual non-stick PRODUCTS or within the Zone of Natural Expansion of the term. http://tacticalip.com/2011/08/30/p5419/ So feel free to write that book!

 

[hilary1617]

Please do write that book! While it sounds like an absolute nightmare, I'd be interested in how you have managed to come through the other side of the struggle to become someone who has been such a strong guiding force and advocate for many despite having been burned!

P.S. Oh my goodness re: the filth! The horror! Sanitation is the key to our sanity. My son showers twice a day and uses incontinence products, including baby wipes and the thin profile gray and blue Depends that look as much like underwear as possible. We have special lidded, lined trash can / diaper pails, cleaning supplies at the ready and he carries supplies with him us when on the go, so as not to inflict our challenges on other.

 

[DianaCox]

Hmm, without a murder involved, I think it would need to be a series of short stories of multiple people's encounters with these assholes - we could call it "Ordinary Sociopaths."

 

[hilary1617]

It can sit on my coffee table next to "Coping with Difficult People" - the guide that gets me to laugh instead of scream when I encounter certain personalities at the workplace.

 

[Sheanie]

Probably one of the grossest things Mary did was to store her urine up in a gallon milk jug. She then filled her husband's windshield washer reservoir with it, when the court ordered she turn over the brand new vehicle to him. She also "top-shelfed" her own home toilet just before we pulled the moving van away from her house. She ran back in when we were all set to leave, saying she had to "go". About 4.5 hours later at our first rest area, she doubled over laughing, telling me she pooped in the tank and replaced the lid. That's what "top-shelfing" a toilet means, I guess. Her boys thought it was just hilarious. But when I told the stories back home at my house, she became incensed at me for repeating them.

Yup, I really should write a book. These are just two of the things she ADMITS to doing. She forged her husbands' signature on the van title and sold it, I witnessed her practicing his signature at my kitchen table. She has always drove "dirty", never paid for car insurance, either. She just prints the Proof of Insurance on line, then doesn't pay the bill. When she gets pulled over, the officer doesn't check it, and she's such a consummate actress and flirt, she gets away with it. Beats me how she does it, I've watched her and am always stunned. She's slick.

 

[southernlady]

She forged her husbands' signature on the van title and sold it, I witnessed her practicing his signature at my kitchen table. She has always drove "dirty", never paid for car insurance, either. She just prints the Proof of Insurance on line, then doesn't pay the bill. When she gets pulled over, the officer doesn't check it, and she's such a consummate actress and flirt, she gets away with it. Beats me how she does it, I've watched her and am always stunned. She's slick.

Some day she's gonna run into one that will be able to ignore her flirting...and it's gonna bite her big time.