brooklyngirl
Yankee gone south
So, I find myself asking you guys for opinions on situations where I'd like a variety of responses, yet don't feel comfortable posting about it on Facebook, so here goes....
My husband has 4 half-siblings, from his dad's second marriage, that we're very close to, even though they're much younger, young enough to be OUR kids. The oldest is his brother, who's 15. They've always been very close, especially now that we've moved closer to them and since my husband is filling in the male role that's missing from their piece if **** father. He feels the need to be his brother- being someone to hang out with, act a fool with, play video games, etc., and also the father figure- talks to him about sex, drugs, drinking, someone to teach him how to talk to girls and also to confide in.
So little brother was always pretty innocent, he was kind of a loner, didn't have too many friends and preferred to be in the house playing Xbox to most other things, until this summer. His mom (hubby's ex-step mom) told us they were taking a trip for a week and leaving little brother alone since he had a summer job as a life guard. I was shocked, I think 15 is wayyyy too young to be left for a whole week, it her justification was "what could he possibly do, he doesn't even hangout with friends when we're home, he sits in his room playing xbox all day". When the time came, hubby prodded for info, and found out he was having several parties and sent a picture of the fridge, which was filled top to bottom with beer. He talked to him and said he's not happy about it, but if he's going to have a party, he at least needs to agree to be safe and not binge drink, as well as not letting strangers in the house and calling 911 if anyone gets sick. He refused to tell step-mom, saying that if he blows up his spot, he'll never confide in him again.
Now, it's coming out, little by little, that he's binge drinking AND, most recently, cutting. He and hubby (all all of the other siblings) have huge issues with their dad. In little brother, and one of the little sisters, it has manifested itself in depression and major self-esteem issues. Little brother has been to see a counselor on and off for years, but is refusing to go now. Step-mom is a total idiot, runs the household in the completely opposite way I (and the rest of the family) believe it should be. So hubby doesn't know wtf to do. We're closer to them than we were when we were in NY, but still almost 2 hours away, so too far to go up there all the time, and he still doesn't want to tell step-mom about the partying, but she does know about the cutting. Blargh
My husband has 4 half-siblings, from his dad's second marriage, that we're very close to, even though they're much younger, young enough to be OUR kids. The oldest is his brother, who's 15. They've always been very close, especially now that we've moved closer to them and since my husband is filling in the male role that's missing from their piece if **** father. He feels the need to be his brother- being someone to hang out with, act a fool with, play video games, etc., and also the father figure- talks to him about sex, drugs, drinking, someone to teach him how to talk to girls and also to confide in.
So little brother was always pretty innocent, he was kind of a loner, didn't have too many friends and preferred to be in the house playing Xbox to most other things, until this summer. His mom (hubby's ex-step mom) told us they were taking a trip for a week and leaving little brother alone since he had a summer job as a life guard. I was shocked, I think 15 is wayyyy too young to be left for a whole week, it her justification was "what could he possibly do, he doesn't even hangout with friends when we're home, he sits in his room playing xbox all day". When the time came, hubby prodded for info, and found out he was having several parties and sent a picture of the fridge, which was filled top to bottom with beer. He talked to him and said he's not happy about it, but if he's going to have a party, he at least needs to agree to be safe and not binge drink, as well as not letting strangers in the house and calling 911 if anyone gets sick. He refused to tell step-mom, saying that if he blows up his spot, he'll never confide in him again.
Now, it's coming out, little by little, that he's binge drinking AND, most recently, cutting. He and hubby (all all of the other siblings) have huge issues with their dad. In little brother, and one of the little sisters, it has manifested itself in depression and major self-esteem issues. Little brother has been to see a counselor on and off for years, but is refusing to go now. Step-mom is a total idiot, runs the household in the completely opposite way I (and the rest of the family) believe it should be. So hubby doesn't know wtf to do. We're closer to them than we were when we were in NY, but still almost 2 hours away, so too far to go up there all the time, and he still doesn't want to tell step-mom about the partying, but she does know about the cutting. Blargh
) over the weekend to feel her out for what she knows and doesn't know, and what she's doing about it. I think I need to discreetly fill in some blanks since hubby won't break confidence, and then reassess. I'll make a call only if I have to, but I'll be far from happy about it.
