Where is my calm before the storm?

[hilary1617]

I agree with 4K in that this will allow you to be there for others, so in that sense it is selfless, not selfish. That said, I get where you are coming from in that it may *feel* selfish that others will have to temporarily sacrifice but keep in mind it is for what will really be your mutual long term benefit. You may even need to depend on them for a bit, and you seem to be very independent and giving, so that's pretty tough to let go and let others help you! Just remember you are well worth it!!!!

 

[brooklyngirl]

You're not being selfish at all! You're being proactive and entering yourself so that you can have a happy & healthy future together! What you're feeling is normal, even though I didn't go through it before, but right after surgery. With all the nonsense I stress over everyday, major surgery was one of the few things I didn't stress over, I was so miserable and ready for my life to change that I didn't even realize the magnitude if what I had done until I woke up in recovery. Now that you're getting it out of your system now, you'll probably be in the clear after switching!

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Well, had my first break down. Sobbing, snot and hyperventilating. I thought I was going insane, but I feel remarkable calm now that its over. I nearly choked on my dinner waiting for my husband to go to the loo so I could just let it all out. oh man. Everything seems so clear now...but WTF was THAT all about?!?!?!

 

[southernlady]

Well, had my first break down. Sobbing, snot and hyperventilating. I thought I was going insane, but I feel remarkable calm now that its over. I nearly choked on my dinner waiting for my husband to go to the loo so I could just let it all out. oh man. Everything seems so clear now...but WTF was THAT all about?!?!?!

It's getting REAL. Up until now, it's been that light in the distance...now that train is bearing right down on you!!!

 

[Taterweight]

Go read what I put for 4k on her freak out...same applies for you! You are going to do great, girl - we Idahoans are sturdy stock! We live in sage brush and howling winds! We got this! I fretted that whole week before, wanting to write letters to everyone I loved -- I couldn't do it, it was like giving in. I told them I loved them before I went in the hospital and that was it. I wasn't going in to die....I was going in to finally begin my life of LIVING! It's gonna be okay. You'll be sore, and annoyed, and uncomfortable but it gets better each day. Can't wait to have all my switch sisters on the bench with me to swap food recipes -- hurry up, guys!

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

It's getting REAL. Up until now, it's been that light in the distance...now that train is bearing right down on you!!!

I think that's what it is. It's been all talk up til now....and now....I have the weekend and then Im a DSer. Holy crap dude. Shit just got REAL.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Silly question: can we wear make up to the op room? Not mega, just some eyeshadow and eye line....I know no polish on the toes or fingers, but I have to drive to London and don't want to go nekkid faced lol

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

'Roo, I am sending you a great big, huge hug right now. Tater is right -- you GOT this. You are going to be amazing, fantastic, and an inspiration.
I like that surgery sisters thing -- let's add @Parousia in there too --- any other takers?

All different surgeons, but still sisters from different misters haha.

bwahahaha I LOVE IT!!!!!

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

I'd probably take a make up remover wipe in a ziplock baggies, 'Roo, and wipe it off right before they IV you. I don't know that is disallowed per se, but between the anesthesia equipment, masks, and everything else going on, I'm sure waking up with streaky mascara and raccoon eyes isn't the best look for the recovery room

I dont do mascara...I've got some jacked up lashes as I used to pull them out as a child lol. But yeah....its going to be dark when I get there at 6 freaking o clock in the morning!!! (Means I have to leave 3:30am at the latest) I won't need make up lol. Just a bottle of water and an alarm to remind me not to sip after 5:30am

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

I'm so morbid, this is what is going through my head, lol. I don't DO country, but Tim McGraw is nice on the eyes

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Aw honey, it won't seem like it now, but calm is overrated. Just keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other one. It's going to be fine.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Silly question: can we wear make up to the op room? Not mega, just some eyeshadow and eye line....I know no polish on the toes or fingers, but I have to drive to London and don't want to go nekkid faced lol

No. Go as scrubbed clean and sanitized and sterilized as humanly possible.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Aw honey, it won't seem like it now, but calm is overrated. Just keep breathing and putting one foot in front of the other one. It's going to be fine.

I do believe I am going to be fine deep down.....but I seem to be on the verge of tears!!! Stinging eyes and lump in throat and everything. I can't explain it...it's not really fear...but a deep deep sadness....of what I have no idea.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

No. Go as scrubbed clean and sanitized and sterilized as humanly possible.

Yeah I wasn't even going to use my fat girl roll cream as I thought it might get messy in the op room.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Thoughts:

1. You're saying ANOTHER goodbye to a huge chunk of "you."
2. You have not indicated what role, if any, your size or your eating patterns played in how you defended yourself from the abuse, but if somewhere inside you believe that the DS is separating you from that protection, it can hurt like hell.
3. Related to 2: Do inside children believe that getting smaller in body means they will be more visible?
4. Do those inside who identify with the current or previous body shape think/believe they are endangered by change?