I asked for your LOCATION, not directions.

[Spiky Bugger]

I'll make up street names and numbers...

Me: where is your office located?
Her: well, if you're coming from the 87, ..
Me, interrupting: I am not. What is your address?
Her: oh, well, if you're coming from the 123, then...
Me, interrupting again: I am not. What about cross streets? Can you give me the cross streets?
Her: oh, okay...do you know where KMart is?
Me: No. I'm new here and I'm not much of a KMart shopper. Address?

This went on and on...it involved U-turns and tall buildings and so forth.

Me, finally: so you are on the south side of Main Street, just west of Elm?
Her...silence, and then: uhm...YES!!!!!! We're on Main Street...and we ARE just west of Elm!!! (In an excited tone which led me to believe that this was the first time she had ever figured that out.)

AAAARGH!

 

[DianaCox]

They walk among us!
And probably vote for whomever their religious leader tells them to.

 

[chevtow]

I've actually been told " turn where the old Johnson barn burned down." -- thanks if I new where a barn USED to be, I wouldn't be asking directions!!

 

[southernlady]

Back just AFTER we got married, Charles was getting his cousin's location...which had to actually include directions since all we had back then were paper maps. Anyway, he wrote it down...and as we are headed there, I get to the "turn right at the rock"...well DAMMIT, WHAT rock...there are LOTS of rocks around here. Turns out, the developer had use a large slab of rock to put the name of the subdivision on it...why he couldn't have written THAT down, I have no clue.

Now, in spite of having a GPS not only on my phone BUT in my car, I still had someone last year who insisted on giving me directions when ALL I asked for was an address.

 

[hilary1617]

Followed a GPS to my BIL's wedding in rural Pennsylvania. Passed through a scene out of Deliverance, where houses had "DO NOT TRESPASS" and "PROTECTED BY SMITH AND WESSON" signs to welcome (NOT) lost strangers. Ended up on top of a mountain in the middle of a military testing ground. Road names such as "Artillery Lane", etc. There were red flags which meant not to go down certain roads or you could get blown up due to live shelling. Turns out the GPS didn't *know* the address so sent us to the geographic center of the zip code. Mobile phone did not work. Scary, scary.

I'd rather take a right at the old cedar tree! Give me human incompetence any day!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I've actually been told " turn where the old Johnson barn burned down." -- thanks if I new where a barn USED to be, I wouldn't be asking directions!!

And, given your line of work, don't you just LOVE the "turn right at the ..." and "turn left at the..."

 

[Terri]

I dispatched trucks for 28 years, I always tried to get directions for my drivers. My favorite is very similar to @chevtow 's. Go to where the old church used to be. I have also been given the description of a tree as a landmark to use. There are a lot of people who CAN NOT tell you how they get to work every single day.

 

[Terri]

Oh, Oh, Oh don't even ask them if you are turning East, West, South or North!

 

[robs477]

I don't need no stinkin GPS! I just alway's take that left turn at Albuquerque and eventually, you'll get there!

 

[JackieOnLine]

yep, @chevtow I have had people (in small towns, hmm) tell me to turn "where the sugar factory used to be".

gah!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I don't need no stinkin GPS! I just alway's take that left turn at Albuquerque and eventually, you'll get there!

Lol...I will turn left at Gallup, going to Mesa Verde and you can turn left at Albuquerque and learn all about the Juarez penal system. ¡Buena suerte!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Lol...my husband once got...GOOD, it turns out, directions to, "follow this road to the crossroad where the two mules are standing at the corner and turn left." And every day that he worked in that area, those two mules were right where they belonged, inside a fenced pasture, but standing right at the corner!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

He reminded me of another. In a has-seen-better-days area of Los Angeles...close to downtown, there is an upscale (that's what I call places that charge $13.95 for a side of fries) landmark of a restaurant called Pacific Dining Car.

Directions, go east (or west) on 6th Street and turn at the two cows. So Mr. Sue knew he could earn lots of points by asking me if I wanted to go to Two Cows.

The ribeye is $68.95.

 

[robs477]

Lol...I will turn left at Gallup, going to Mesa Verde and you can turn left at Albuquerque and learn all about the Juarez penal system. ¡Buena suerte!

.....Bugs Bunny is never wrong!

 

[southernlady]

He reminded me of another. In a has-seen-better-days area of Los Angeles...close to downtown, there is an upscale (that's what I call places that charge $13.95 for a side of fries) landmark of a restaurant called Pacific Dining Car.

Directions, go east (or west) on 6th Street and turn at the two cows. So Mr. Sue knew he could earn lots of points by asking me if I wanted to go to Two Cows.

Reminds ME of a landmark in Marietta, GA called The Big Chicken:

“The Big Chicken” is a well known Marietta landmark that rises above a KFC restaurant at the intersection of Cobb Parkway and Roswell Road. It is a large steel-sided structure with a moving beak and eyes.