Considering cancelling my surgery. Really need advice!

[writegirl]

Amen to the post-children effects. I was fairly healthy/not disproportionate until I had kids. I went from about 190 pounds before to 250 after weaning the first kid. The first C-section changed my body shape so that I now had an "apron" in my lower abdomen. Nobody warns you of that. Self esteem big hit - this and the increased body weight from gestation and lactation raised my pants size from a 16/18 to a 26. My body held onto every single calorie I took in after first positive pregnancy test, and more so when nursing babies. I had 3 kids between 2006 and 2011. When I wasn't pregnant, I was nursing, except for 14 months. I went from a BMI of ~ 35 in 2004/2005 to a BMI of over 50 by 2012. It took 2 more years for my husband to accept the idea that I needed a drastic change and for me to begin the process to get my DS officially. Would not trade the little humans for anything, but know that pregnancy, postpartum, and lactation CAN destroy your metabolism. It happened to me.

I don't want to hijack the OP, so I'll just affirm that what jbandmmomma experienced with the bodily changes after a c-section is right on target. I have the horrid "apron" and that is from just one child. My weight fluctuated between 180lbs when I had her, to a drop down to 110lbs but that was short lived and I've gained weight steadily ever since. My BMI is now 50 and I can't wait till I get my DS surgery in a few short months. Like you, Ann, I am afraid. I am terrified. But, I am more afraid of dying from my obesity or getting a number of co-morbidities. I am now 47 years old. The kid is in college. I am single and have been since she was 3 years old (so I get the dating concerns). For me it's more about me needing to feel stronger, healthier, and just normal for a change. I guess I am willing to face all my fears to get that prize.

That said, I have a sister who had RnY well over 20 years ago. She does NOT follow any sort of supplement regemine at all and she A.) lost teeth B.) has a hip that is just about hollow and needs to have a full replacement (she is putting off that surgery) C.) She continues to suffer with dumping syndrome and vomiting because of the food "stuck" feeling. I have learned by watching her and do not want to make the same mistakes, which is what led me here to this community. You are armed with knowledge and that is a damn good way to start on your new post-surgery life. I feel ya on the reservations. Congratulations on getting this far and being so close to your surgery date!

 

[Ray_Of_Fricken_Sunshine]

@Roudoudou So, I've been reading a lot of older posts, and I came across this one. This post and the responses it generated helped me so much when I was in an overwhelmed panic mode. I was wondering how you're doing?

 

[Roudoudou]

@Ray_Of_Fricken_Sunshine, hello! I am doing well. About 3.5 months post-op and while it's been harder than I thought it would be (mostly just adjusting to my new way of eating), I feel pretty good. As most have reported, first day after surgery was extremely uncomfortable but things rapidly improved from there.

If I'm being completely honest, I can't say I have zero regrets yet as I am still in the "mourning food" phase from time to time; it's going to take a while before I adjust to not turning to excess food to deal with every strong emotion I have. But I have a feeling that as time passes I'm going to be very happy with my decision. I feel good, weight loss is happening (down 59 pounds since surgery date on 2/2), and am just feeling grateful that this was a solution available to me. How are you doing? Are you pre or post-op?

 

[Munchkin]

Great to hear from you!

 

[Ray_Of_Fricken_Sunshine]

@Ray_Of_Fricken_Sunshine, hello! I am doing well. About 3.5 months post-op and while it's been harder than I thought it would be (mostly just adjusting to my new way of eating), I feel pretty good. As most have reported, first day after surgery was extremely uncomfortable but things rapidly improved from there.

If I'm being completely honest, I can't say I have zero regrets yet as I am still in the "mourning food" phase from time to time; it's going to take a while before I adjust to not turning to excess food to deal with every strong emotion I have. But I have a feeling that as time passes I'm going to be very happy with my decision. I feel good, weight loss is happening (down 59 pounds since surgery date on 2/2), and am just feeling grateful that this was a solution available to me. How are you doing? Are you pre or post-op?

I'm glad to hear that you're doing relatively well! I can imagine that you've described your situation perfectly when you say you're still in mourning for the food you can't have! I have no experienced words of comfort, but I've read over and over that those feelings will improve.
59lbs is exciting, though!! That has to help a little!?
I'm doing alright! Thanks so much for asking! Ever since this became a real possibility for me, I have been overwhelmed like crazy. I've said it so many times before, that things like this don't happen for me... I never get these chances, so I'm terrified of messing it up. I'm trying to get the right vitamins without asking the same stupid questions that every single person before me has asked because for some reason things just aren't clicking for me the way they seem to be clicking for everyone else and I used to be so damn smart, while smiling blankly at my NUT as she gives me RNY instructions and hoping to God that my surgeon that wears skinny jeans isn't having relationship issues or a hangover the day of my surgery.
So, I'm okay... I'm just scared; but not of the surgery. I'm scared of everything that follows. But I'm more scared of being the way I am now for the rest of my life.
Anyways... I always work myself up. It's what I do. But at the end of the day, I'm excited as hell, too.

 

[Larra]

@Roudoudou it's a difficult adjustment, for sure, but remember that the foods you aren't eating now, during your rapid weight loss phase, aren't lost to you forever. There is no food that is never to be eaten again with the DS. You may eat them less often, and in smaller amounts, and you may find that your tastes have changed and the things you are missing now aren't as great as you remember, but that's ok. It's a learning process, and it sounds like you are doing great.

 

[DSRIGGS]

@Ray_Of_Fricken_Sunshine, hello! I am doing well. About 3.5 months post-op and while it's been harder than I thought it would be (mostly just adjusting to my new way of eating), I feel pretty good. As most have reported, first day after surgery was extremely uncomfortable but things rapidly improved from there.

If I'm being completely honest, I can't say I have zero regrets yet as I am still in the "mourning food" phase from time to time; it's going to take a while before I adjust to not turning to excess food to deal with every strong emotion I have. But I have a feeling that as time passes I'm going to be very happy with my decision. I feel good, weight loss is happening (down 59 pounds since surgery date on 2/2), and am just feeling grateful that this was a solution available to me. How are you doing? Are you pre or post-op?

Your ability to eat pretty much anything you want (just have to know the effect of each food) will come back. It just takes a while. At 6 months my ability to eat really changed. You won't be able to eat as much at one time and yes you can eat any food you want that doesn't bother your system, but that doesn't mean you can eat large amounts of it. I am the King of preaching moderation in life. I don't believe there is a bad food choice. I believe there are bad choices of how often and how much we eat something. Common sense tells us that if we ate chocolate cake 3 times a day that it isn't going to be good for any human being. That being said if you have a small slice as a treat once every week or two, it is no problem.

You will continue to feel better as you go along and you will come to love your DS. I am fairly certain of this.

Best wishes

 

[DSRIGGS]

@Roudoudou it's a difficult adjustment, for sure, but remember that the foods you aren't eating now, during your rapid weight loss phase, aren't lost to you forever. There is no food that is never to be eaten again with the DS. You may eat them less often, and in smaller amounts, and you may find that your tastes have changed and the things you are missing now aren't as great as you remember, but that's ok. It's a learning process, and it sounds like you are doing great.

I should have read down further as I should have known you would have said it already and better than me.

How are you? I haven't talked to your for ages. Hopefully all is well.

 

[DSRIGGS]

@Roudoudou So, I've been reading a lot of older posts, and I came across this one. This post and the responses it generated helped me so much when I was in an overwhelmed panic mode. I was wondering how you're doing?

Breath Ray, you will be okay. It is a big surgery but done properly it has great results.

BTW, I love your screen name. LOL