Considering cancelling my surgery. Really need advice!

[southernlady]

What has been mentioned but I'll add my .02 cents worth...

I had my DS 6 years ago at 56. The ONLY regret I have is not doing it much sooner. I was an insulin pump dependent type 2 diabetic with nerve damage, high cholesterol, and while not on BP meds I had to keep an eye on that. My BP never got into the requiring help range but it was high normal.

If I HAD had the DS a few years earlier, maybe my diabetes would have stayed resolved. I never got below a 5.6 A1C after surgery and while I am off all meds, I still have to watch it as my A1C is back up around a 7. Looking back, based on my nerve damage symptoms, I suspect I've had compromised glucose since I was in my late 20's as I remember having PN (peripheral neuropathy) in my feet when I was 30 years old. But I was in my late 40's when I was finally diagnosed.

If you had asked me at 42 about my health, I would have said the same thing...that other than being MO, I was healthy. Turns out, I was not. I was diagnosed with diabetes less than a year later.

Was I ready at 42 to take such a huge step? Hell no! I wasn't ready at 52, or even 54 but somewhere between 54 and 55, I decided I was ready. If I had a way to go back and tell my 42 year old self that I was on the road to major health issues, I would have looked into it much sooner. Then maybe I would be able to say I am cured of diabetes.

 

[trace]

I "met" someone on FB yesterday who needs a hip replacement, and I told her all about my DS experience, how much weight I've lost since then, and how I'm about to get my hip replaced already. She was like, "Ummmmm." I get it. This surgery isn't for everyone. You have to be fully committed to a lifelong regime of vitamins, compliance with eating protein first, and getting labs done frequently. I have a feeling you'll be fine with all of that . . . is it the mental game that you're struggling with?

 

[galaxygrrl]

I "met" someone on FB yesterday who needs a hip replacement, and I told her all about my DS experience, how much weight I've lost since then, and how I'm about to get my hip replaced already. She was like, "Ummmmm." I get it. This surgery isn't for everyone. You have to be fully committed to a lifelong regime of vitamins, compliance with eating protein first, and getting labs done frequently. I have a feeling you'll be fine with all of that . . . is it the mental game that you're struggling with?

Hi! How are you. Hope all is well. Sounds like things are progressing along.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Do not even consider the balloon. It is not good science and will not work.

As the others have said, the ARNP is frankly full of shit. I am almost 3.5 years out and for dinner I had a sloppy joe with cheese and dill pickle on a bun. I ate all of it. Additionally I had macaroni and cheese plus green beans. Just and hour ago I had a cup of coffee with cream and sugar as well as 3 chips ahoy Reese's cookies. I am 6'2 and rang from 168-175 lbs. Now I am not a normal DS'r and I had nutrition issues because my virgin DS was with a standard limb guy gave me an absorbing intestinal track that was way too short. Had I done better research and met Dr Keshishian before my virgin ds I would not have had malnutrition issues.

The DS is the only bariatric procedure that has demonstrably great results after 5 years. Frankly none of the other procedures work. Yes you will have to commit to life long vitamin and mineral suppelmentation but it is honestly not a big deal.

Finally and I say this to be honest and with your best interest at heart. Do you really think that healthy people need a weight loss surgery? I recently found out that I have stage 3 liver disease and been told to cut out all alcohol for life. The cause of the liver problem? Being morbidly obese for 20 years and a type II diabetic for 10 plus years. It is very possible that your liver is in similar shape.

Please do all your research so you fully understand what you are signing up for and make sure you go a well respected DS surgeon who will measure your total small bowel length and make your Alimentary limb, Common Channel and Bilopancreatic limb as a percentage of the small bowel. It doesn't have to be exact Hess DS but you want to be sure that the limb lengths are such that you lose the weight you need to lose while making sure that you don't become malnourished because you have too much malabsorption.

Being nervous and having cold feet is normal but as long as you are a repsonsible adult who can commit to life long vitamin and mineral supplementation the DS is 100% the right choice for anyone needing to lose significant weight.

Best wishes to you.

Maybe +/- 13 years ago, one woman who went to Mexico for a band, woke up with that f’ing balloon. Not similar informed consent regulations. What a mess.

 

[galaxygrrl]

This thread has really reinforced how awesome I think this community is and how honored I am to be a part of it. Such thoughtful and caring responses.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I "met" someone on FB yesterday who needs a hip replacement, and I told her all about my DS experience, how much weight I've lost since then, and how I'm about to get my hip replaced already. She was like, "Ummmmm." I get it. This surgery isn't for everyone. You have to be fully committed to a lifelong regime of vitamins, compliance with eating protein first, and getting labs done frequently. I have a feeling you'll be fine with all of that . . . is it the mental game that you're struggling with?

Trace,
I don't diagree with you except that with ALL bariatric surgeries, you have to be committed to change...even just to live with the side effects. Difference being, that we who had the DS are lucky enough to know that going in. I have encountered a few RnY patients who were clueless and ended up with what looked a lot like Bariatric Beriberi, and/or missing teeth and all kinds of other weird issues.

 

[southernlady]

I have encountered a few RnY patients who were clueless and ended up with what looked a lot like Bariatric Beriberi, and/or missing teeth and all kinds of other weird issues.

And what is worse, is they were following their surgeons advice for vitamins.

 

[trace]

Hi! How are you. Hope all is well. Sounds like things are progressing along.

Hi! Yes, I'm doing well. Once I get my new bionic hip, I really hope I can start living my life again!

Trace,
I don't diagree with you except that with ALL bariatric surgeries, you have to be committed to change...even just to live with the side effects. Difference being, that we who had the DS are lucky enough to know that going in. I have encountered a few RnY patients who were clueless and ended up with what looked a lot like Bariatric Beriberi, and/or missing teeth and all kinds of other weird issues.

Yes, definitely. I think I was disappointed that this person wasn't open to hearing about ANY type of WLS. Instead, she started asking about diet plans. I can't criticize because I was just like that person for a long time. It *almost* makes me grateful for my hip pain -- I wouldn't have been so desperate otherwise. I had to finally admit my powerlessness in the situation and look for something new, something I hadn't done before. Which led me here.

 

[Roudoudou]

Thankyou, everyone, again for your responses. It was what I needed to read. I have struggled with obesity for the better part of 20 years and my head knows that this is what will work long-term to lose the weight and keep it off. I think I was just having a freak out moment. Thank you again, and @southernlady, please add my surgery date to the calendar if you don't mind! 2/2/17 with Dr. Srikanth.

Thanks again!!!

 

[Munchkin]

My only regret is not having this surgery decades earlier.

Seriously...if diets worked long term, would there be any fat people???? You have been programmed to believe it is all your fault. Obesity is a disease, not a character flaw. If you broke your leg or had a heart attack, would you be hesitant about fixing the problem? So what's wrong with fixing your broken metabolism?

The pills. Well, do nothing and wait till you see how many pills you have to take for obesity related co-morbidities. Expensive pills with side effects. And if you ever find you need that knee replaced, you will not qualify because of your weight, you will just have to suffer. Bummer. And as you age, almost everyone's weight goes in 1 direction, up.

Next, let's talk about dating. After a lifetime of fat, I can tell you fat women settle for less, expect less, and get less. When you meet a prospective partner, looks matter. Simply because that's what's right in front of you. If you hang around long enough, maybe you will get to know their other redeeming qualities. But looks come first. And many men have been conditioned to avoid fat women like the plague because they are afraid you will only get fatter as you age. After a couple kids what used to be 'curvy' will be excess tonnage. Yes, this is mean and unfair but it is true. And it's not only men. Women have similar feelings when they look at a fat man. How long before his first heart attack? Will I have to be his nurse? Both sexes can be mean and intolerant. We have been exposed to years of fat aversion therapy from the medical community and media/entertainment. It doesn't matter how great you are. They can't see past the fat. We are all shallow to some degree.

Just wait till you see how much differently you will be treated as a normal sized person. For a long time, it made me angry because I knew I was still the same person. Finally I figured out they can't help the way they see others. It's just part of who they are. I dated more in my 50's than I did in any prior decade. I even dumped men. I am not attractive either, but I think both sexes get a bit less picky as they age, and my biggest asset was not looking and acting all used up! And I sure did have a lot of fun. Men even pursued me. See, I am shallow too!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

And what is worse, is they were following their surgeons advice for vitamins.

Yup.

 

[southernlady]

Thankyou, everyone, again for your responses. It was what I needed to read. I have struggled with obesity for the better part of 20 years and my head knows that this is what will work long-term to lose the weight and keep it off. I think I was just having a freak out moment. Thank you again, and @southernlady, please add my surgery date to the calendar if you don't mind! 2/2/17 with Dr. Srikanth.

Thanks again!!!

Added

 

[Roudoudou]

Next, let's talk about dating. After a lifetime of fat, I can tell you fat women settle for less, expect less, and get less. When you meet a prospective partner, looks matter.

I completely relate to this. And I admit, I'm guilty of doing it as well to guys, but I do think that having lived so long in this body has given me a certain amount of compassion and understanding when it comes to rejecting someone; I know how much it hurts to be rejected so I try to be as kind as possible. It still stinks, though, and who knows how many wonderful people we miss out on because of our bias.

I can't believe some of the stuff I've put up with from guys. Doesn't walk me to my car? Oh, well! Invites me for coffee and doesn't offer to pay? Well, at least it's a date! Expects me to meet him in his neighborhood (because he doesn't have a car and public transportation is too "inconvenient?")? Sure! So many things that 18-year old Ann would never have thought I'd put up with. I am looking forward to getting more of that healthy entitlement my therapist talks about.

Thanks again for all of the responses. Ten days to go! Pre-surgery consult is tomorrow. Nervous, but excited.

 

[Razbry]

I understand being nervous. However, be committed to this surgery before you do it. As for me, I wish I could have had this surgery 20 years before I finally got it.

 

[Jbandmmomma]

Amen to the post-children effects. I was fairly healthy/not disproportionate until I had kids. I went from about 190 pounds before to 250 after weaning the first kid. The first C-section changed my body shape so that I now had an "apron" in my lower abdomen. Nobody warns you of that. Self esteem big hit - this and the increased body weight from gestation and lactation raised my pants size from a 16/18 to a 26. My body held onto every single calorie I took in after first positive pregnancy test, and more so when nursing babies. I had 3 kids between 2006 and 2011. When I wasn't pregnant, I was nursing, except for 14 months. I went from a BMI of ~ 35 in 2004/2005 to a BMI of over 50 by 2012. It took 2 more years for my husband to accept the idea that I needed a drastic change and for me to begin the process to get my DS officially. Would not trade the little humans for anything, but know that pregnancy, postpartum, and lactation CAN destroy your metabolism. It happened to me.