The things they never tell you...

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The biggest thing that no one ever tells you about losing weight is that eventually, the number on the scale no longer matters.

What matters is how you feel, how you look and how happy you are.

oh, boy is THAT true. the thing that really scares me for this woman? she isn't that far out. she will probably regain, and doesn't yet realize it. it's going to suck, I think. 3 years, it's been, not even. that isn't that long.

I do NOT wish this on her, I just realize it's likely. did I do the math wrong? 3 years isn't that long.
 
The biggest thing that no one ever tells you about losing weight is that eventually, the number on the scale no longer matters.

What matters is how you feel, how you look and how happy you are.

oh, boy is THAT true. the thing that really scares me for this woman? she isn't that far out. she will probably regain, and doesn't yet realize it. it's going to suck, I think. 3 years, it's been, not even. that isn't that long.

I do NOT wish this on her, I just realize it's likely. did I do the math wrong? 3 years isn't that long.
Statistically, you're probably right, unfortunately. I always hope everyone I come across falls into the less likely category of "lost it all and keeps it off forever".
 
The biggest thing that no one ever tells you about losing weight is that eventually, the number on the scale no longer matters.

What matters is how you feel, how you look and how happy you are.

oh, boy is THAT true. the thing that really scares me for this woman? she isn't that far out. she will probably regain, and doesn't yet realize it. it's going to suck, I think. 3 years, it's been, not even. that isn't that long.

I do NOT wish this on her, I just realize it's likely. did I do the math wrong? 3 years isn't that long.
Yup. When bounceback happens--and it WILL--there is another whole round of the mind game to be played. As soon as scale numbers start to creep up, your equilibrium will be challenged. THEN your "colors" will show in a new way. You'll get to decide again, "Why did I do this? For the numbers or for other things?"

If you measure your success by keeping "at goal" defined only by numbers on the scale, it's gonna be a LOT harder to maintain your purpose as well as your weight. Don't just rely on the scale. Use LOTS of different ways of measuring success.

That doesn't mean you can or should totally discount the scale. But you're going to get tested again and again as to how much you let just one device rule your life.
 
FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON
Daniel Keyes

Plot Overview


Charlie Gordon, a mentally retarded thirty-two-year-old man, is chosen by a team of scientists to undergo an experimental surgery designed to boost his intelligence. Alice Kinnian, Charlie’s teacher at the Beekman College Center for Retarded Adults, has recommended Charlie for the experiment because of his exceptional eagerness to learn. The directors of the experiment, Dr. Strauss and Professor Nemur, ask Charlie to keep a journal. The entire narrative of Flowers for Algernon is composed of the “progress reports” that Charlie writes.

Charlie works at Donner’s Bakery in New York City as a janitor and delivery boy. The other employees often taunt him and pick on him, but Charlie is unable to understand that he is the subject of mockery. He believes that his coworkers are good friends. After a battery of tests—including a maze-solving competition with a mouse named Algernon, who has already had the experimental surgery performed on him—Charlie undergoes the operation. He is initially disappointed that there is no immediate change in his intellect, but with work and help from Alice, he gradually improves his spelling and grammar. Charlie begins to read adult books, slowly at first, then voraciously, filling his brain with knowledge from many academic fields. He shocks the workers at the bakery by inventing a process designed to improve productivity. Charlie also begins to recover lost memories of his childhood, most of which involve his mother, Rose, who resented and often brutally punished Charlie for not being normal like other children.

As Charlie becomes more intelligent, he realizes that he is deeply attracted to Alice. She insists on keeping their relationship professional, but it is obvious that she shares Charlie’s attraction. When Charlie discovers that one of the bakery employees is stealing from Mr. Donner, he is uncertain what to do until Alice tells him to trust his heart. Delighted by the realization that he is capable of solving moral dilemmas on his own, Charlie confronts the worker and forces him to stop cheating Donner. Not long afterward, Charlie is let go from the bakery because the other workers are disturbed by the sudden change in him, and because Donner can see that Charlie no longer needs his charity. Charlie grows closer to Alice, though whenever the mood becomes too intimate, he experiences a sensation of panic and feels as if his old disabled self is watching him. Charlie recovers memories of his mother beating him for the slightest sexual impulses, and he realizes that this past trauma is likely responsible for his inability to make love to Alice.

Dr. Strauss and Professor Nemur take Charlie and Algernon to a scientific convention in Chicago, where they are the star exhibits. Charlie has become frustrated by Nemur’s refusal to recognize his humanity. He feels that Nemur treats him like just another lab animal, even though it is disturbingly clear that Charlie’s scientific knowledge has advanced beyond Nemur’s. Charlie wreaks havoc at the convention by freeing Algernon from his cage while they are onstage. Charlie flees back to New York with Algernon and gets his own apartment, where the scientists cannot find him. He realizes that Nemur’s hypothesis contains an error and that there is a possibility that his intelligence gain will only be temporary.

Charlie meets his neighbor, an attractive, free-spirited artist named Fay Lillman. Charlie does not tell Fay about his past, and he is able to consummate a sexual relationship with her. The foundation that has funded the experiment gives Charlie dispensation to do his own research, so he returns to the lab. However, his commitment to his work begins to consume him, and he drifts away from Fay.

Algernon’s intelligence begins to slip, and his behavior becomes erratic. Charlie worries that whatever happens to Algernon will soon happen to him as well. Algernon eventually dies. Fearing a regression to his previous level of intelligence, Charlie visits his mother and sister in order to try to come to terms with his past. He finds the experience moving, thrilling, and devastating. Charlie’s mother, now a demented old woman, expresses pride in his accomplishments, and his sister is overjoyed to see him. However, Rose suddenly slips into a delusional flashback and attacks Charlie with a butcher knife. He leaves sobbing, but he feels that he has finally overcome his painful background and become a fully developed individual.

Charlie succeeds in finding the error in Nemur’s hypothesis, scientifically proving that a flaw in the operation will cause his intelligence to vanish as quickly as it has come. Charlie calls this phenomenon the “Algernon-Gordon Effect.” As he passes through a stage of average intelligence on his way back to retardation, Charlie enjoys a brief, passionate relationship with Alice, but he sends her away as he senses the return of his old self. When Charlie’s regression is complete, he briefly returns to his old job at the bakery, where his coworkers welcome him back with kindness.

Charlie forgets that he is no longer enrolled in Alice’s night-school class for retarded adults, and he upsets her by showing up. In fact, Charlie has forgotten their entire romantic relationship. Having decided to remove himself from the people who have known him and now feel sorry for him, he checks himself into a home for disabled adults. His last request is for the reader of his manuscript to leave fresh flowers on Algernon’s grave.
 
I remember reading that - I loved it until it got sad, then I hated it.

yes, Diana, way to be obscure!
 
Thanks for sharing this! For me, I have to keep an eye on the scale and continue to log on MFP otherwise, it is too easy for me to think I am eating right and getting enough exercise. I am not in maintenance yet, the numbers on the scale do matter to me, I have to continue to watch everything I eat and push the activity level. I do not have a fixed/realistic goal, I just know I am not there yet.

I can understand her feelings about the hanging skin too! We know, when we go in for surgery and that after we lose our weight, we will have this "loose skin" however, the reality of it is much different than the thought of it.
 
He he he...but He loses his mind again....and starts to resent happy fat people.
 
That story is what I think about when I read about bariatric patients who lose weight to a point where they are mostly happy - or really happy - and then the weight comes back. It is excruciatingly painful to even think about.
 
I've never thought of our journey as anything akin to Flowers for Algernon, yet I love that Diana posted this. It must be devastating to look only at the numbers on the scale when that happens to those so inclined to worship those numbers. Have they forgotten all the things they experienced like NSV's, loss of co-morbids, and etc.? Yes, I did get down to 155 lbs. (Dr. Houston's goal for me) and came back to 175. However, if my OSA, hypertension, and other obesity maladies return, then I , too, shall be devastated.

As an aside, I looked horrible at 155 so I am vain enough to think about my appearance & I don't want to go back to that weight.
 
the difference is, Charlie no longer knows what he had and lost - while we do.

interesting, though. really the ideal WLS vet would be so not needing to talk about it any more (having moved on) we would never see them posting here.

er, no, we are here to help! not because we need to still talk about food and size and so on. :sneaky:

curse you, Diana, that is the saddest story ever! *weeping*
 
I think part of the reason we (some of us) are so terrified of the numbers on the scale is that we have been down the weight loss road so many times and always had the weight come back. We don't want to disappoint ourselves or others. It isn't realistic to not want to keep the weight off.
 
I think part of the reason we (some of us) are so terrified of the numbers on the scale is that we have been down the weight loss road so many times and always had the weight come back. We don't want to disappoint ourselves or others. It isn't realistic to not want to keep the weight off.
Agreed. I, for one, am terrified of failing again o_O
 

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