Sunday Weigh In (2/28/2016)

[southernlady]

On the road this morning coming back from AL (seeing kids, grand sons, and MIL) so not able to weigh. Claiming last week of 144.

 

[Clematis]

LW BMI: 29.9
TW BMI: 29.6

I’m having a hard time with reality.

I was quite skilled at avoiding cameras at my heaviest. But after losing nearly 60# (have about 50 to go), I thought it might be interesting to see a “before” photo. So last week I emailed the office of the WL surgeon I first consulted (he did not do the DS so I went elsewhere) and on Friday they sent the photo they had taken of me that day a few months ago which I had never seen. When I opened the photo file, it literally took my breath away and I burst in to tears of shock and shame. In my mind, I knew I was fat but I thought my face looked good — after all I had been seeing myself in a mirror a couple of times a day and never thought I looked *that* bad. Apparently my delusion and denial was profound because the person in the photo was a horror from head to toe. I was rotund with hips and thighs wider than my shoulders, my arms barely able to circle around my breasts and belly, and atop it all was a round head on a lumpy turtle-like neck wider than my jaw. The smile on my greasy-with-exertion face was little more than a grimace. The only saving grace was that the photo was a bit blurry so my wrinkles were softened. I cannot trust my own eyes as this was not the person I had been seeing in the mirror every day. I was sick with embarrassment knowing I had been walking around in public looking like this.

And then I got to thinking that I have lost all this weight and yet NO ONE HAS SAID A WORD TO ME ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS. Does this mean I still look indistinguishable from that photo? Do I still look this awful to others? The last few weeks I have been thinking, damn, I'm lookin’ pretty good but now I’m feeling fat and insecure.

I want to return to “perception is reality” where I think I look better than I do and therefore that’s real.

This is the end of my neurotic moment. I now return you to your regularly scheduled weigh-in.

 

[Bagaof4]

LW 127
TW 126

@Clematis don't despair! While our DS works its magic on our bodies, our minds are another thing entirely. It took me a couple of years to finally accept the fact that I really was a tiny person. I loathed the fat girl I used to be, but now after almost 3 1/2 years, I no longer feel disgust when I see my old pictures. I simply see a person who worked against all odds to lose weight, but failed repeatedly. I love and admire that woman, but ache for the pain she endured for so many years.
On the bright side, maybe those who haven't seemed to notice your weight loss actually see you for who you are and not your weight? Now those are the people we need around us! You are doing great!

 

[southernlady]

LW BMI: 29.9
TW BMI: 29.6

I’m having a hard time with reality.

I was quite skilled at avoiding cameras at my heaviest. But after losing nearly 60# (have about 50 to go), I thought it might be interesting to see a “before” photo. So last week I emailed the office of the WL surgeon I first consulted (he did not do the DS so I went elsewhere) and on Friday they sent the photo they had taken of me that day a few months ago which I had never seen. When I opened the photo file, it literally took my breath away and I burst in to tears of shock and shame. In my mind, I knew I was fat but I thought my face looked good — after all I had been seeing myself in a mirror a couple of times a day and never thought I looked *that* bad. Apparently my delusion and denial was profound because the person in the photo was a horror from head to toe. I was rotund with hips and thighs wider than my shoulders, my arms barely able to circle around my breasts and belly, and atop it all was a round head on a lumpy turtle-like neck wider than my jaw. The smile on my greasy-with-exertion face was little more than a grimace. The only saving grace was that the photo was a bit blurry so my wrinkles were softened. I cannot trust my own eyes as this was not the person I had been seeing in the mirror every day. I was sick with embarrassment knowing I had been walking around in public looking like this.

And then I got to thinking that I have lost all this weight and yet NO ONE HAS SAID A WORD TO ME ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS. Does this mean I still look indistinguishable from that photo? Do I still look this awful to others? The last few weeks I have been thinking, damn, I'm lookin’ pretty good but now I’m feeling fat and insecure.

I want to return to “perception is reality” where I think I look better than I do and therefore that’s real.

This is the end of my neurotic moment. I now return you to your regularly scheduled weigh-in.

Mirrors and scales do not see the person inside and honestly we are our harshest critics. But I do know what you mean. Honestly most of the people who knew me fat and see me now don't comment on how much I have lost. Does that mean I also look awful? No, it just means they see you and while they may have cared that you were fat does not mean you looked like a horror, they looked inside you to YOU.

And you are doing great.

 

[southernlady]

LW 127
TW 126

@Clematis don't despair! While our DS works its magic on our bodies, our minds are another thing entirely. It took me a couple of years to finally accept the fact that I really was a tiny person. I loathed the fat girl I used to be, but now after almost 3 1/2 years, I no longer feel disgust when I see my old pictures. I simply see a person who worked against all odds to lose weight, but failed repeatedly. I love and admire that woman, but ache for the pain she endured for so many years.
On the bright side, maybe those who haven't seemed to notice your weight loss actually see you for who you are and not your weight? Now those are the people we need around us! You are doing great!

Good going, Pam.

Oh, and this weekend was an eye opener for me. I always considered my youngest daughter tiny. But I found out that she and I weigh about 10 lbs apart and basically wear the same size (pants). Her weight is in her hips so her top size is smaller. My weight is in my torso...I resemble a beer keg on toothpicks. But if she is tiny, that means I am at least NORMAL size.

 

[Soonerjoseph]

LW BMI: 29.9
TW BMI: 29.6

I’m having a hard time with reality.

I was quite skilled at avoiding cameras at my heaviest. But after losing nearly 60# (have about 50 to go), I thought it might be interesting to see a “before” photo. So last week I emailed the office of the WL surgeon I first consulted (he did not do the DS so I went elsewhere) and on Friday they sent the photo they had taken of me that day a few months ago which I had never seen. When I opened the photo file, it literally took my breath away and I burst in to tears of shock and shame. In my mind, I knew I was fat but I thought my face looked good — after all I had been seeing myself in a mirror a couple of times a day and never thought I looked *that* bad. Apparently my delusion and denial was profound because the person in the photo was a horror from head to toe. I was rotund with hips and thighs wider than my shoulders, my arms barely able to circle around my breasts and belly, and atop it all was a round head on a lumpy turtle-like neck wider than my jaw. The smile on my greasy-with-exertion face was little more than a grimace. The only saving grace was that the photo was a bit blurry so my wrinkles were softened. I cannot trust my own eyes as this was not the person I had been seeing in the mirror every day. I was sick with embarrassment knowing I had been walking around in public looking like this.

And then I got to thinking that I have lost all this weight and yet NO ONE HAS SAID A WORD TO ME ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS. Does this mean I still look indistinguishable from that photo? Do I still look this awful to others? The last few weeks I have been thinking, damn, I'm lookin’ pretty good but now I’m feeling fat and insecure.

I want to return to “perception is reality” where I think I look better than I do and therefore that’s real.

This is the end of my neurotic moment. I now return you to your regularly scheduled weigh-in.

Personally, I can't stand pictures of myself. There's years that have went by that I don't have pictures of unless I'm next to one of my kids, where I feel obligated to allow a pic to be taken. Sadly, even with all my weight loss, I still hate to have my picture taken. There's always something that's wrong or different about me that I feel uncomfortable with. I don't know if that's just become my personality or if it's something I could/should change.

 

[DSRIGGS]

LW: 182
TW: 179

Up and down and holding around 180 for a little while. This isn't quite where I want to be yet but it appears to be coming up slowly but surely.

@Clematis Honey I feel so bad for you and your self image. That seems to be harder for you ladies than it is for me. That being said I look at my old pictures and thinks holy shit man I was much fatter than I thought. I didn't see myself as that fat before.............but.......I saw a very quick change and love the way I look now other than a little droopy skin and I want to beef up a tad.

If you are worried about getting feedback from people, well I had some people who were very open with me about my weight loss and they commented a lot and positively, but I had also opened up with them first. It was just easier for me to hit it head on and get the elephant in the room (no fat pun intended) out in the open and cleared up. That being said there were some who I think were just more comfortable about saying nothing because I think they didn't want me to feel uncomfortable...because when you compliment a person for their looks when they lose weight you are also saying, "man you looked like shit and now you look good".

Like I was starting to say, if you are comfortable enough (and that is up to you if you are, or will ever be - I respect everyone's privacy and choice whether they share or not) you could post before and now pics here. I guarantee you that there is a BIG difference and you know how blunt and honest we are here so we wouldn't bullshit you.

All that said, you have lost 60 pounds already. As we say on a sports board I post, you are champ as fuck right now or caf rn!

Great job young lady!!!!

 

[DSRIGGS]

Personally, I can't stand pictures of myself. There's years that have went by that I don't have pictures of unless I'm next to one of my kids, where I feel obligated to allow a pic to be taken. Sadly, even with all my weight loss, I still hate to have my picture taken. There's always something that's wrong or different about me that I feel uncomfortable with. I don't know if that's just become my personality or if it's something I could/should change.

Not that I am the best judge of dudes looking good, but you look like a handsome dude in your Avatar picture Joseph.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Good going, Pam.

Oh, and this weekend was an eye opener for me. I always considered my youngest daughter tiny. But I found out that she and I weigh about 10 lbs apart and basically wear the same size (pants). Her weight is in her hips so her top size is smaller. My weight is in my torso...I resemble a beer keg on toothpicks. But if she is tiny, that means I am at least NORMAL size.

That is a great realization Liz! Awesome!

 

[newanatomy]

Last week: 153.2
This week: 150.8
Loss of 2.4 pounds

I am back to around 50 net grams of carbs per day for a while. I like it best under 150 pounds. I want to get a few pounds back off and then try to find a sweet spot for carbs. I need to find that magical number that I can eat without gain and still be comfortable physically. I hate to feel bloated and miserable! I was looking through my weight chart yesterday and noticed that I have been within 5 pounds of this weight for over a year. That is a little frustrating because I thought I was still trying to lose weight for most of the year. I finally grasped I was in maintenance a few months ago even though, I would have liked to drop another 10 pounds or so. Amazing, I still have very little control over my weight well, except for an overall gain if I don't watch it.

 

[JuliaDS]

LW 237.8
TW 234.2

Everyone is doing great! Hope you enjoy your week.

 

[DSRIGGS]

Last week: 153.2
This week: 150.8
Loss of 2.4 pounds

I am back to around 50 net grams of carbs per day for a while. I like it best under 150 pounds. I want to get a few pounds back off and then try to find a sweet spot for carbs. I need to find that magical number that I can eat without gain and still be comfortable physically. I hate to feel bloated and miserable! I was looking through my weight chart yesterday and noticed that I have been within 5 pounds of this weight for over a year. That is a little frustrating because I thought I was still trying to lose weight for most of the year. I finally grasped I was in maintenance a few months ago even though, I would have liked to drop another 10 pounds or so. Amazing, I still have very little control over my weight well, except for an overall gain if I don't watch it.

but look at the silver lining....you stayed within 5 pounds, not 50 or 150 pounds like we would have been in the past. Great job and you will find that sweet spot.

BTW for the bloat, I eat gas-x like it is candy. Probably 3 or 4 most day and it really works for me most of the time. ...

 

[duh_Mom]

TW- 191.8 - damn - let me say that again 191.8 - the lower 90's seem more profound to me than onederland did.
LW - 193.4

@Clematis girl - I feel you on the pics but honey, be proud of what you have done! Own it. you deserve it - if you saw that pic and it was me would you say those things about it. I think not - would you be sad for me - yeah probably but you wouldn't beat me up like you did you.

I seldom get people saying anything about my weight loss either - I think in this day and age people are a lot more careful what they say - especially in a business environment.

I struggle with body image - I am 190's - still considered obese but damn, I feel skinny because compared to 296.6 I am! Nope, not a model and dont need to be one and eventually my brain will catch up.

 

[southernlady]

Last week: 153.2
This week: 150.8
Loss of 2.4 pounds

I am back to around 50 net grams of carbs per day for a while. I like it best under 150 pounds. I want to get a few pounds back off and then try to find a sweet spot for carbs. I need to find that magical number that I can eat without gain and still be comfortable physically. I hate to feel bloated and miserable! I was looking through my weight chart yesterday and noticed that I have been within 5 pounds of this weight for over a year. That is a little frustrating because I thought I was still trying to lose weight for most of the year. I finally grasped I was in maintenance a few months ago even though, I would have liked to drop another 10 pounds or so. Amazing, I still have very little control over my weight well, except for an overall gain if I don't watch it.

I agree with Scott, staying within 5 lbs is awesome!

Maybe chart your carbs with how you feel later....it might be certain carbs, not all carbs.

LW 237.8
TW 234.2

Everyone is doing great! Hope you enjoy your week.

Good going!

TW- 191.8 - damn - let me say that again 191.8 - the lower 90's seem more profound to me than onederland did.
LW - 193.4

@Clematis girl - I feel you on the pics but honey, be proud of what you have done! Own it. you deserve it - if you saw that pic and it was me would you say those things about it. I think not - would you be sad for me - yeah probably but you wouldn't beat me up like you did you.

I seldom get people saying anything about my weight loss either - I think in this day and age people are a lot more careful what they say - especially in a business environment.

I struggle with body image - I am 190's - still considered obese but damn, I feel skinny because compared to 296.6 I am! Nope, not a model and dont need to be one and eventually my brain will catch up.

And the 180's is just around the corner! Doing great.

 

[DSRIGGS]

but look at the silver lining....you stayed within 5 pounds, not 50 or 150 pounds like we would have been in the past. Great job and you will find that sweet spot.

BTW for the bloat, I eat gas-x like it is candy. Probably 3 or 4 most day and it really works for me most of the time. ...

way to go Mom!