Stupid relatives. Busybody relatives.

[Spiky Bugger]

So finally, after…I dunno…eight months or so of dickin’ around (pun not intended, but appropriate) in jail with monthly pretrial conferences, our thoroughly disgusting nephew—the Pro-Trump, Christian, child sex offender who unfriended MiniSue on FB because of her “libtard values” as opposed to his “family values”—has apparently decided to cop a plea and will likely be going to prison (where he belongs) for quite a few years. I have no idea what he will plead to, but there are four charges and the potential for a total of, I think, 40+ years. So...maybe 20-25 years’ worth. And, there may be a reduction in time depending on his behavior and how often he gets the crap knocked out of him by his new roommates and neighbors.

His mother, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, will be turning 65 later this year. She lives 563 miles away from him. If she were to go to court event, on June 4th, it might be the last time she ever sees him. But...I’m SURE she cannot afford that trip.

I suggested to MrSue that maybe we should offer to help her rent a car and pay for a motel room. He kind of growled and kind of mentioned that he had recently “loaned” her $1000 and then told her not to pay it back.

I guess he doesn't want to play. And she IS his sister. And she HAS had eight or nine months where she could have saved cigarette money and so on.

But I guess I’m reacting to how I’d feel if there were a chance to see my kid in two weeks...and it might be the last chance for a couple of decades. And I think I might do guilt if we don’t help her. (MrSue didn’t go to Catholic schools. He’s not good at guilt.)

Any thoughts?

 

[k9ophile]

I certainly don't have any advice as I am still pissed at the step-daughter who we gave $3,500. Then it was DH's birthday a few weeks later. We have told her in the past not to bother with gifts. But apparently she only know how to use e-mail for ask for money, but not a few words to wish her dad a happy birthday. We're supposed to meet up with DH's son this week-end. I have vowed not to bring up anything about wretched step-daughter. However, also hope they don't mention her or her latest woe. Decades of my disappointment in her ability to be responsible just might come out as one huge fireball of rage. They don't need to be subjected to my rants and raves when they are not the subject of them.

I think I love your husband or at least his agility to unattach himself from shit magnets.

 

[hilary1617]

You have such a kind heart.

Has she asked for the money to travel or are you coming from a position of unsolicited generosity? I'd probably only recommend offering funds if they were requested.

Unless she asks, I wouldn't assume she wants to be exposed to that sort of courtroom experience. It might be very difficult emotionally to witness one's child publicly admitting to a committing a horrible crime / maybe hearing a victim's statement / being sentenced / taken away on the spot and then have to drive for 10ish hours to get home. Not having the funds available may help unburden her of guilt if deep inside she doesn't want to go. What seems like a curse may be a blessing.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Wow! You are so right. I hadn’t thought about it that way. (And no, she hasn’t asked for any help with this.).

 

[Larra]

hilary1617 beat me to it. Don't volunteer the money, and this comes to you from an expert on guilt (being Jewish outranks Catholic school education).

And, to k9ophile 's concern about bursting into flames at the mention of the step-daughter's issues, this isn't exactly the same thing, but I have a group of friends, lovely people, who many times went on at great length about "Myrtle's" financial woes, her stubbornness and, poor decisions, etc, all of which was true but really should not have been the frequent subject of lengthy, though not badly intended, gossip. I finally started politely saying that I didn't want to hear any of this again and if they want to gossip about her, do it when I'm not around. I made this statement on more than one occasion, and IDK if it sunk in or not but I haven't heard anything on these aspects of her life lately. In other words, just refuse to be part of that conversation.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

hilary1617 beat me to it. Don't volunteer the money, and this comes to you from an expert on guilt (being Jewish outranks Catholic school education).

And, to k9ophile 's concern about bursting into flames at the mention of the step-daughter's issues, this isn't exactly the same thing, but I have a group of friends, lovely people, who many times went on at great length about "Myrtle's" financial woes, her stubbornness and, poor decisions, etc, all of which was true but really should not have been the frequent subject of lengthy, though not badly intended, gossip. I finally started politely saying that I didn't want to hear any of this again and if they want to gossip about her, do it when I'm not around. I made this statement on more than one occasion, and IDK if it sunk in or not but I haven't heard anything on these aspects of her life lately. In other words, just refuse to be part of that conversation.

Hey! After Catholic school through Grade 9, I started hanging with the local girls my age. So, Mrs. Marks, Mrs. Schwartz, Mrs. Samson provided HS after school guilt lessons because my divorced mom worked outside the home. I was the ONLY Mexican-Italian chick at a BBG meeting or two. (Why did I go? Because AZA met at the same time in the same building...and that’s where the dashing young man whose last name was Hoffman could be found! LOL) So I got DIVERSE guilt training!

hilary1617 I just read your response to MrSue. He, too, was WOWed.

 

[Larra]

Diverse guilt training! America, such a country!

 

[hilary1617]

I guess then, I've got proper guilt credentials having concurrently attended both yeshiva and catechism in my youth.

 

[Georgepds]

I can still recite the first few questions from the Baltimore catechism, and it's been more than 50 years since I looked at it...


Who made you ?
God made me


Why did God make you?
To know love and serve him in this world

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I can still recite the first few questions from the Baltimore catechism, and it's been more than 50 years since I looked at it...


Who made you ?
God made me


Why did God make you?
To know love and serve him in this world

With the blue cover, right? Very good. (But wait! Were you one of those horrid “Public School Kids” that came in on Saturdays and snooped around in our desks.). Anyway, right here, in Latin, we recite our guilt, DAILY*!

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea MAXIMA culpa...
(my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault)



*When our parents divorced, Mom had to be at work by 7:00 am. The ONLY place she could drop us off was at the 6:30 am Mass...every day. Luckily, we were not bothered by anyone. (BUT about 11 years ago, my friend Paul told me that one of the nuns molested him after school, so it wasn’t a safe place for everyone.)

 

[Larra]

hilary1617 wins with Judeo-Christian double guilt.

 

[Georgepds]

Nah... I did hard time full time at St Mary's



With the blue cover.... a++ for memory Spiky

 

[Spiky Bugger]

hilary1617 wins with Judeo-Christian double guilt.

Agreed!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Nah... I did hard time full time at St Mary's



With the blue cover.... a++ for memory Spiky

Lol.

Well, if it returns in frequent nightmares, it’s hard to forget!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I guess then, I've got proper guilt credentials having concurrently attended both yeshiva and catechism in my youth.

I cannot bring myself to actually USE the word, but you seem to be ... you know … W I _ _ I N G.