Elizabeth N.
Herder of cats
Someone was asking about making schnitzel last night on the Anything Goes board. My response got eaten by internet gremlins, so I'll put it here today.
Schnitzel is a cut of meat pounded out very thin and quickly fried. There are a bazillion ways to do it, but here's the typically-labeled "natur" version:
1. Procure slices of critter of choice. Pork and veal are traditional, chicken is a since-the-war addition, turkey is a since-the 80's addition. Beef is generally not referred to as schnitzel, but you can do it this way just fine.
PSA: If you care at all about your meat being treated appropriately while it's still alive, don't eat veal. Those baby calves get Special Treatment (Holocaust students recognize this term) in order to be so fine and white and lovely on the plate.
2. Said slices should be thin and boneless. They can be from cheap parts of the hog or beef. Winged critter bits need to be skinless/boneless. Figure 4-6 oz. slices.
3. If you order these special, have your butcher pound them out for you to less than 1/2" thick. Or pound them that way yourself at home with your meat mallet or a rolling pin. Do not pound as if to kill them, for you will wind up with meat mush. Use finesse. Think of yourself as rolfing or deep tissue massaging the meat until it's totally relaxed all over your cutting board.
4. Get some flour and throw some salt and pepper in it. Doesn't matter what kind of flour. If you're gluten free, use whatever you use instead of plain old wheat flour. Flop the nice relaxed critter bits around in this stuff just enough to coat on each side. You're just absorbing some moisture off the surface of the meat here, not trying to layer on drywall.
5. Use a nice big skillet and fry off your relaxed critter bits without crowding them. Best true flavor is established with lard, but whatever fat you think is not sinful is fine, except for butter, which burns too quickly for this. Heat your oil nice and HOT, so that a teeny tiny drop of water drizzled in to test causes an oil tantrum, but not till it smokes. Did I mention that you test this with a truly MINISCULE water drop?
6. In go the critter bits. They are very thin, so they cook in just a very few minutes per side. Ideally you are cooking with gas so you have best possible temperature control, but electric works too. True chefs do this by holding the skillet a couple millimeters off the burner and constantly shifting the food in the skillet so nothing sticks. I have a grouchy old stove and so need every degree of heat. So I have my tongs in hand and wiggle the critter bits in the pan that way.
7. Voila! Schnitzel natur! I know, BORING, right? That's cuz the real fun is in your choice of SAUCE. Those follow shortly.
Schnitzel is a cut of meat pounded out very thin and quickly fried. There are a bazillion ways to do it, but here's the typically-labeled "natur" version:
1. Procure slices of critter of choice. Pork and veal are traditional, chicken is a since-the-war addition, turkey is a since-the 80's addition. Beef is generally not referred to as schnitzel, but you can do it this way just fine.
PSA: If you care at all about your meat being treated appropriately while it's still alive, don't eat veal. Those baby calves get Special Treatment (Holocaust students recognize this term) in order to be so fine and white and lovely on the plate.
2. Said slices should be thin and boneless. They can be from cheap parts of the hog or beef. Winged critter bits need to be skinless/boneless. Figure 4-6 oz. slices.
3. If you order these special, have your butcher pound them out for you to less than 1/2" thick. Or pound them that way yourself at home with your meat mallet or a rolling pin. Do not pound as if to kill them, for you will wind up with meat mush. Use finesse. Think of yourself as rolfing or deep tissue massaging the meat until it's totally relaxed all over your cutting board.
4. Get some flour and throw some salt and pepper in it. Doesn't matter what kind of flour. If you're gluten free, use whatever you use instead of plain old wheat flour. Flop the nice relaxed critter bits around in this stuff just enough to coat on each side. You're just absorbing some moisture off the surface of the meat here, not trying to layer on drywall.
5. Use a nice big skillet and fry off your relaxed critter bits without crowding them. Best true flavor is established with lard, but whatever fat you think is not sinful is fine, except for butter, which burns too quickly for this. Heat your oil nice and HOT, so that a teeny tiny drop of water drizzled in to test causes an oil tantrum, but not till it smokes. Did I mention that you test this with a truly MINISCULE water drop?
6. In go the critter bits. They are very thin, so they cook in just a very few minutes per side. Ideally you are cooking with gas so you have best possible temperature control, but electric works too. True chefs do this by holding the skillet a couple millimeters off the burner and constantly shifting the food in the skillet so nothing sticks. I have a grouchy old stove and so need every degree of heat. So I have my tongs in hand and wiggle the critter bits in the pan that way.
7. Voila! Schnitzel natur! I know, BORING, right? That's cuz the real fun is in your choice of SAUCE. Those follow shortly.
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