Non-Medical HELP!!!

[Elizabeth N.]

@DianaCox , I promise to not stay longer than a week. I'll even bring wine by the case and will put Ozium in every bathroom.....

 

[Sheanie]

Wait, wine comes in CASES? I thought it only came in BOXES. Just kidding.

 

[DianaCox]

You know, I would LOVE to do another party, when Charles finishes eyeroll the next round of renovations. It's been six years since the last one - maybe next summer. But nunnaya get to move in permanently!

 

[Elizabeth N.]

You know, I would LOVE to do another party, when Charles finishes eyeroll the next round of renovations. It's been six years since the last one - maybe next summer. But nunnaya get to move in permanently!

Oh I don't want to live with anybody except my hubby permanently. You guys do a good party, though, so I'd be happy to help with the booze.....

 

[hilary1617]

Ok, my $0.02. Though in the current position, your daughter's skills and the organization's mission might be a match, the management doesn't seem to be. People leave (bad) bosses far more often than they leave jobs. If the VP at the top of the non-profit chain of command is the terrible boss s/he appears to be, any position in that organization will eventually become unpleasant. Thus, of the two options on the table, the other, more stable job which presents more choices in bosses as well as retirement savings seems to be a better choice. Now, if she "loved" the current job and had a great boss, that would be a different matter altogether.

As for bringing adult children back to the nest, I'd recommend doing so only after agreeing up front to some modest amount of rent and well-defined household contributions. Nothing better than putting expectations in writing to get off to a good start and stay on track, in my mind! Any rent collected could be placed in a savings account for the child's future benefit, perhaps for a down payment on an apartment or home. Then again, I charge my 7 and 10 year old kids rent, which they pay using allowance earned for chasing dust bunnies, making their beds, setting the table and loading the dishwasher....

 

[MsVee]

Ok, my $0.02. Though in the current position, your daughter's skills and the organization's mission might be a match, the management doesn't seem to be. People leave (bad) bosses far more often than they leave jobs. If the VP at the top of the non-profit chain of command is the terrible boss s/he appears to be, any position in that organization will eventually become unpleasant. Thus, of the two options on the table, the other, more stable job which presents more choices in bosses as well as retirement savings seems to be a better choice. Now, if she "loved" the current job and had a great boss, that would be a different matter altogether.

As for bringing adult children back to the nest, I'd recommend doing so only after agreeing up front to some modest amount of rent and well-defined household contributions. Nothing better than putting expectations in writing to get off to a good start and stay on track, in my mind! Any rent collected could be placed in a savings account for the child's future benefit, perhaps for a down payment on an apartment or home. Then again, I charge my 7 and 10 year old kids rent, which they pay using allowance earned for chasing dust bunnies, making their beds, setting the table and loading the dishwasher....

You have to teach your children to respect money and to spend their earnings in a way that is consistent with their values. I think once you are old enough to ask for money you are old enough to learn that lesson.


MsVee

 

[DianaCox]

"As for bringing adult children back to the nest, I'd recommend doing so only after agreeing up front to some modest amount of rent and well-defined household contributions."

I would laugh, except I would end up crying. We did that FOUR TIMES. He didn't hold up his end, relying on me being too afraid of him being on the street. We finally called him on it the last time - and he talked his girlfriend into taking him in. That was 2.6 years ago. And nothing much has changed.

 

[Sheanie]

Yeah, @DianaCox , I totally agree with you on that. We HAVE an agreement and it doesn't mean squat. The loss of privacy is the worst thing. I DO draw the line at "guests" though. No overnight guests, PERIOD. We are not, despite rumors to the contrary, a hotel.

 

[hilary1617]

Wow. Sorry to read that, Diana and Sheanie. Both my husband and I (separately) lived with our parents briefly as adults post-university and both of us paid rent and did our share of the chores plus some. Both sets of parents would have definitely put us out if we didn't abide by the rules as they are/were the tough love sort, but mainly we were grateful to have a cheap place to live and would have felt guilty otherwise anyway. Our moms have both perfected the guilt trip!

Our elementary school age kiddos help out around the house and we go through the motion of paying them their allowance, then putting some of it towards "rent", some towards "savings" and the rest they are free to use as they wish, which generally is to jam it messily into their respective code-protected "spy safes". Guess things may change once adolescence hits. Meanwhile I'll just count my blessings.

Privacy? I've forgotten what that is! Hopefully, you find some!

 

[hilary1617]

(1) Apparently those of you with grown children have more realistic expectations of behavior than I do.
(2) Perhaps I shouldn't have had that chat with my kids about the history of organized labor.

We asked the children to clean their rooms. They formed a union and immediately went into collective bargaining mode. Talks were unsuccessful and led to a strike. Below is Hannah's picket sign.

 

[DianaCox]

Now THAT (striking) was certainly never anything that occurred to me or my siblings as children - and we outnumbered our parents! My grandfather was a union organizer too - there must have been a conspiracy to prevent him from explaining that to us.

Your daughter's sign is hilarious. Start planning to work that into a slide presentation for her wedding reception.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Omg, how funny! Save those for prosperity (and embarrassment) and let us know how the talks go

 

[Terri]

@hilary1617 Usually healthcare is a big deal in negotiating. At the next meeting be sure and remind them who pays when they are sick. Also vacation could be a big bargaining chip.

Please be sure and get several hard copies of this picture made so you always have one, something tells me your daughter will try and hide them. She is going to be a force to be reckoned with when she gets older.

Btw I am with Diana wish my siblings and I would have thought about this. Although I am sure if we were on strike too long we would have been grounded. My dad told us several times when we were bratty that our household wasn't a democracy it was a dictatorship.

 

[southernlady]

Although I am sure if we were on strike too long we would have been grounded. My dad told us several times when we were bratty that our household wasn't a democracy it was a dictatorship.

Yeah, we lived in a dictatorship too,

 

[brooklyngirl]

Dictatorship at my house too! My dad was fond of saying "you live under MY roof, you follow MY rules"