Non-Medical HELP!!!

[JackieOnLine]

I would say that if she stays at the place she loves, she needs to start her own retirement plan. Personally, I would go for the secure job now but probably would not have at her age.

I tend to agree with this.

and there really isn't a secure job and a job you love is so rare and life is so short...

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Thanks, all.

My last email from her was a kind of unthrilled acceptance that she can either dump this boyfriend and find a rich guy...or go for the more secure position.

For the sake of clarity...she doesn't "love" this job, it is just that it is in her area of expertise and experience. And it's a salary she can survive on in L.A., but it's for a small non-profit with a volatile VP. (She has been described as a bitchy 4-year-old with PMS and low self-esteem.)

The other job is something entirely different, demanding in ways she does not appreciate (more rigid schedules, possibly horrid shift work), but after a few years, it will pay her at least $15k more than she is making now. And if she hates it, she can transfer from one department to the next until she finds her niche.

My input was merely a declaration that if she stays where she is and gets laid off or re-org'd out of a job, she is welcome to move in with us and we'll even feed her...but not one more dime. She almost never asks for financial help. But the reality of the situation...only child, parents who are not struggling...is that we subsidize the non-profits by helping her stay afloat. And we want to blow what little money we have on US for a while!

 

[Sheanie]

Holy ****, @Spiky Bugger , that's what we did with our 28 year old son. He's been back for 8 months and appears to have grown roots into the foundation, never planning on leaving. I'd rethink that offer, if you enjoy your "privacy". And by "privacy" I mean being able to bump uglies in the kitchen or any other room without getting "caught", walking around in a state of undress if you are so inclined, or any other activity you really don't know you take for granted until it's awkward when the "kid" moves back in.

Sheesh. This kid has YET to help around the house. Dust balls as big as tumbleweeds in his rooms (he has the downstairs "suite") that he never cleans. We are beginning to understand exactly why his SO kicked him out.

Sometimes the best "help" a parent can give is to NOT let them move back home. It would have been hard to do, but now I wish I'd have said no.

 

[DianaCox]

ARGH - my 28 year old son and his g/f are arguing - she is getting fed up with him STILL not having a full time job 2.5 years after he moved in. And his fall-back is - oh HELL to the NO.

Supposedly, he is coming over here in a little while to get my help in updating his resume - but I suspect he is going to be less than enthusiastic about it.

I wonder if my plan for how people should raise teenagers would apply here. I think teenagers should rotate from house to house where other teens are part of the family, one month at a time, with every sixth month back at home. For one month, they could be POLITE and HELPFUL and REASONABLE - and then when that wears off, they move to a new house.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Holy ****, @Spiky Bugger , that's what we did with our 28 year old son. He's been back for 8 months and appears to have grown roots into the foundation, never planning on leaving. I'd rethink that offer, if you enjoy your "privacy". And by "privacy" I mean being able to bump uglies in the kitchen or any other room without getting "caught", walking around in a state of undress if you are so inclined, or any other activity you really don't know you take for granted until it's awkward when the "kid" moves back in.

Sheesh. This kid has YET to help around the house. Dust balls as big as tumbleweeds in his rooms (he has the downstairs "suite") that he never cleans. We are beginning to understand exactly why his SO kicked him out.

Sometimes the best "help" a parent can give is to NOT let them move back home. It would have been hard to do, but now I wish I'd have said no.

My trump card is that the last thing she would ever want to do is move in here...with me. We are, in many ways, too much alike. So my offering her a roof over her head, if she needs one, is to her like I'm offering to torture her.

But good luck getting your little freeloader out!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

ARGH - my 28 year old son and his g/f are arguing - she is getting fed up with him STILL not having a full time job 2.5 years after he moved in. And his fall-back is - oh HELL to the NO.

Supposedly, he is coming over here in a little while to get my help in updating his resume - but I suspect he is going to be less than enthusiastic about it.

I wonder if my plan for how people should raise teenagers would apply here. I think teenagers should rotate from house to house where other teens are part of the family, one month at a time, with every sixth month back at home. For one month, they could be POLITE and HELPFUL and REASONABLE - and then when that wears off, they move to a new house.

Lol...are we allowed to move while they are gone?

 

[DianaCox]

I'm taking applications for non-family roommates to fill the rooms before the kids try to move back in.

Oh, wait ...

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I'm taking applications for non-family roommates to fill the rooms before the kids try to move back in.

Oh, wait ...

Yeah...WAIT. Forever.

 

[JackieOnLine]

too late!

I've already moved in. I mentioned my dogs aren't always continent, right? and that I've taken up the bagpipes?

*toot*

 

[Whit]

I did not read all of the responses so this may be a repeat. Encourage her to pay herself first. Pay into a Roth Ira and an couple of "other" funds now. The Roth will be taxed dollars so when it's time she will not have to pay any tax when she starts to withdraw. She can pay into other funds pre-tax to help get her taxable income down. She should have it diverted before it even goes into her checking account. Fidelity does it for a very low rate. I am sure there are tons of places.

If she is used to living off of unemployment then for the next few years have her sock away as much as she can. Then she can stay in the job she likes and have retirement. She should do it now at this relatively young age because it adds up quickly and even if she has to stop it will collect interest and grow.

I wish her luck and happiness in employment it is awful to be unhappy at work so much time is spent there.

Whit

 

[DianaCox]

I would be happy to have you here Jackie, but Spiky would have to hunt me down and beat me. For my own good and with my husband's blessings. And probably with my own permission, given during The Time of Troubles - as in "If I ever even THINK of doing that again ...."

 

[Sheanie]

@DianaCox , tomorrow when you get up, don't be alarmed. That will be me, @JackieOnLine , and @Spiky Bugger floating in your pool, drinks in hand. And what a coincidence, I have taken up the bagpipes as well!

 

[DianaCox]

Hope you're wearing your wetsuits - it went from 95 on Thursday to low 70s today.

I'll fire up the fire table to warm you up though.

We have a neighbor down the block who practices his bagpipes outside - you can make it a trio!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Hope you're wearing your wetsuits - it went from 95 on Thursday to low 70s today.

I'll fire up the fire table to warm you up though.

We have a neighbor down the block who practices his bagpipes outside - you can make it a trio!

Yeah...but does he simultaneously twirl flaming batons while maintaing a blood alcohol level of at least 2.5?

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I did not read all of the responses so this may be a repeat. Encourage her to pay herself first. Pay into a Roth Ira and an couple of "other" funds now. The Roth will be taxed dollars so when it's time she will not have to pay any tax when she starts to withdraw. She can pay into other funds pre-tax to help get her taxable income down. She should have it diverted before it even goes into her checking account. Fidelity does it for a very low rate. I am sure there are tons of places.

If she is used to living off of unemployment then for the next few years have her sock away as much as she can. Then she can stay in the job she likes and have retirement. She should do it now at this relatively young age because it adds up quickly and even if she has to stop it will collect interest and grow.

I wish her luck and happiness in employment it is awful to be unhappy at work so much time is spent there.

Whit

Thanks, Whit...she will like your answer better than mine!