Whit
Well-Known Member
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you all peace in knowing she is no longer in pain.
My sister died today.
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Elizabeth N.
Herder of cats
Oh dear God. I wish I could just wrap you in my arms, dear Karen.
You are loved and you are needed. Please keep yourself safe. Hydrate. Get meds that will help you get something into you. What can we do to help?
You are loved and you are needed. Please keep yourself safe. Hydrate. Get meds that will help you get something into you. What can we do to help?
Spiky Bugger
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 6,227
My sincere condolences. Take care of you.
My father fainted. My daughters cried. Why did you bring us to a room where my sister was not ready for company? She was to be cremated. No one in our family has every been cremated nor have we attended any cremations so we did not know the way things were suppose to be played out. Diane's kids are wanting this and my oldest sister made these arrangements with them. Was told by my oldest sister we were to be at the funeral home today at 1:00 to view the body with close family. My daughter told me she took my sister a pink and black dress to put Diane in. My father wore his finest. Diane laid in a paper box with no dress on. In fact she had no cloths on. A white sheet was draped to her shoulders. Her hair was dirty, her face was black and blue, and she was green and swollen. Now why would any one in their right mind think we would want to see this.
Please get my father on the chair. Vanda get him some water. Can we move him to another room. We should not be in here. Vanda where is the water. Sir can you get the wheel chair for my father. He needs to move from here. Vanda, Vanda, Will someone go and get Vanda and get dad some water he needs his heart medicine. Why is Vanda screaming. Why is there no water, where is the wheel chair. We all just need to leave NOW!
Are you telling me you have no water. I'm sorry, did I hear you say no water? Katie my oldest daughter says mom hang on Vanda who is my youngest daughter is in the parking lot getting water out of the car. Katie stay here with dad for me I have to get to the bath room. Mom you can't go to the bath room they have no water. What is going on here? The man with the black hair says I am so sorry but our water pipes broke this morning. Why didn't you cancel this? We thought they would be fixed. Can you get me a wheel chair we will be leaving. I am so sorry but it is in getting fixed.
My 56 yr. old sister has never made funeral arrangements before this and thought she was doing the right things. She feels so bad. The dress was dropped off but somehow the ball was dropped when the water pipes broke and a staff member called off work. My father has a glaze look to him. Seen tears in his eyes 2 times tonight and this is out of charter for him. When he tries to say something he now stutters and then stops. He does not want to go to the funeral this Saturday as he says he can't take any more and would it be wrong for him to stay home?
My mother was a skilled china painter. Diane's daughter wanted a vase of mine that mom had painted to put the ashes in. Chris the son who is still wearing the coat and hat today says no vase is needed. He intends to eat the ashes. His friend told him that this can be done when one wants to have their loved one with them at all times. Jenny then said you do what you want with yours, but mine are going in the pink rose china vase. No Jenny, Chris can not eat the ashes. And no more talk will be about this. A social worker has already been called and will be on hand tomorrow for The kids.
When Diane was alive she could not find a family member outside of my family that would give her time of day. No one could deal with her bipolar, or should I say find the time to learn about bipolar so they could have dealings with her. Yet in the midst of the worst winter in 30 yrs. we now have family members flying in from all over the country. The funeral which will be held at my sister's church does not do funeral dinners but if I paid for the food she could find some vol. to help. The count is up to 125 and raising. My oldest sister has not talked to Diane for 15 years yet they lived in the same town. She just could not handle her Bipolar. By shutting out her sister she also shut out her nieces and nephews. She is so full of guilt. By having this at her church and helping the kids she feels like she can do something. It's just that she does not have a pot to pee in or a window to through it out of. But hey her heart is in the right place, and the church is nice, and the people are nice, so it's going to be what it is going to be.
One thing I ask, make sure your church has running water and a workable wheel chair.
I purge myself with this drama that is unfolding in my life right now on this site. My daughters who at one time thought they might wanted to be cremated will not go down that path. Telling them that this was not the norm today and it was not suppose to be this way does not help. They are left with the memory of their aunt lying in a card board box with no cloths on black and blue. No water for their grandfather to take his heart medicine after seeing his daughter in such a tat torn state and no wheel chair to get him to the car. Yep, it's this younger generation that will bring change when they are forced to see things in this light. Letters are already being written for the newspaper, they have tweeted and put it on Facebook.
I don't write letters, I don't tweet, I don't do Facebook, except for wls support, I do however come here to you all and lay my weary head.
Please get my father on the chair. Vanda get him some water. Can we move him to another room. We should not be in here. Vanda where is the water. Sir can you get the wheel chair for my father. He needs to move from here. Vanda, Vanda, Will someone go and get Vanda and get dad some water he needs his heart medicine. Why is Vanda screaming. Why is there no water, where is the wheel chair. We all just need to leave NOW!
Are you telling me you have no water. I'm sorry, did I hear you say no water? Katie my oldest daughter says mom hang on Vanda who is my youngest daughter is in the parking lot getting water out of the car. Katie stay here with dad for me I have to get to the bath room. Mom you can't go to the bath room they have no water. What is going on here? The man with the black hair says I am so sorry but our water pipes broke this morning. Why didn't you cancel this? We thought they would be fixed. Can you get me a wheel chair we will be leaving. I am so sorry but it is in getting fixed.
My 56 yr. old sister has never made funeral arrangements before this and thought she was doing the right things. She feels so bad. The dress was dropped off but somehow the ball was dropped when the water pipes broke and a staff member called off work. My father has a glaze look to him. Seen tears in his eyes 2 times tonight and this is out of charter for him. When he tries to say something he now stutters and then stops. He does not want to go to the funeral this Saturday as he says he can't take any more and would it be wrong for him to stay home?
My mother was a skilled china painter. Diane's daughter wanted a vase of mine that mom had painted to put the ashes in. Chris the son who is still wearing the coat and hat today says no vase is needed. He intends to eat the ashes. His friend told him that this can be done when one wants to have their loved one with them at all times. Jenny then said you do what you want with yours, but mine are going in the pink rose china vase. No Jenny, Chris can not eat the ashes. And no more talk will be about this. A social worker has already been called and will be on hand tomorrow for The kids.
When Diane was alive she could not find a family member outside of my family that would give her time of day. No one could deal with her bipolar, or should I say find the time to learn about bipolar so they could have dealings with her. Yet in the midst of the worst winter in 30 yrs. we now have family members flying in from all over the country. The funeral which will be held at my sister's church does not do funeral dinners but if I paid for the food she could find some vol. to help. The count is up to 125 and raising. My oldest sister has not talked to Diane for 15 years yet they lived in the same town. She just could not handle her Bipolar. By shutting out her sister she also shut out her nieces and nephews. She is so full of guilt. By having this at her church and helping the kids she feels like she can do something. It's just that she does not have a pot to pee in or a window to through it out of. But hey her heart is in the right place, and the church is nice, and the people are nice, so it's going to be what it is going to be.
One thing I ask, make sure your church has running water and a workable wheel chair.
I purge myself with this drama that is unfolding in my life right now on this site. My daughters who at one time thought they might wanted to be cremated will not go down that path. Telling them that this was not the norm today and it was not suppose to be this way does not help. They are left with the memory of their aunt lying in a card board box with no cloths on black and blue. No water for their grandfather to take his heart medicine after seeing his daughter in such a tat torn state and no wheel chair to get him to the car. Yep, it's this younger generation that will bring change when they are forced to see things in this light. Letters are already being written for the newspaper, they have tweeted and put it on Facebook.
I don't write letters, I don't tweet, I don't do Facebook, except for wls support, I do however come here to you all and lay my weary head.
Last edited:
DuodenalSwitchaRoo
Taking a long scenic route!
Weight gain due to psych meds is NO JOKE. People, including DR's ignore it and instead blame the patient. I am so sorry for your loss, but more than that I am so sorry your sister had to fight so long and hard just to be heard I'm so sad for you and want to give you the biggest hug ever. 
catecholamine
Resident Nerd
I'm so, so sorry. I hope you can find some peace.
You know the Aunt, everyone has one. She goes around from family member to family member gathers all the info and then goes and gossips to others about the family. Her name is Aunt Sandy. When I took the painted vase last night to my sisters house Jenny and her were sitting in the living room. My friend drove me there and when I walked into her house I smelled Diane's scent, I seen her lounge chair with Jenny sitting in it, her newly breathing treatment machine laid next to the chair. I don't have anxiety in my life except when my iron starts to dip. I found myself in a full blown anxiety attack and needed to get out of there but could not move. What is wrong with you Karen, Sandy asks? Smelling my sister, seeing her personal things and looking at that dam machine reminds me how she was misdiagnosed that lead to her death. They are now saying she died of a blood embolism in the lung. This is the exact way my mother died at 61. They got her on a revolving merry go round with doctors and she said she could not get off. They wore her down with doctors.
Diane had just been to the doctors 2 weeks ago telling them her left leg was hurting and swollen.
Aunt Sandy says, Karen a doctor once told me years ago that when it is your time God knows and there is nothing you can do about it. Your time is up. Diane's time was up. Your kidding right Sandy. So you who had a son die at 18yrs. You knew from birth he would not live into adult hood. He was given all the best doctors, free medicine from Lilly, Trips from make a wish and you your son and family were treated with such dignity with each and every visit to the doctors and hospital. You knew what Diane had to endure, disrespect from doctors and not given the time she needed to get the right diagnose. Free will that doctors can choose to do the right thing or move you along. Moving one along I am sure will shorten one's life.
Social worker is on board. Coat and hat is off and hanging on a hook inside the door so he can see it every time he comes and goes.
Seems it was a mix up at the funeral home. It was suppose to be a showing. Diane was suppose to be done up right and it was paid for. Betsy I was told looked beautiful. No one came as Betsy was not the having a showing. Betsy and Diane got mixed up and the wrong body was done up. They were sorry and the money will be returned. Does anyone see something wrong with all of this. Life is just so short and I am so tired some things we need to let go of. So I tell myself on the one hand, and bursting out in tears with anger in the next.
oldest sister who offered their church I find out they do not do funeral dinners. They do snacks. So Gave her more money for food and gave her a list of people that offered to help me.
This takes place tomorrow. It will be beautiful. Thousand's of dollars spent and I still do not have my protein shakes.
Diane's picture was in the paper today. I don't know how to make links but it's in the Journal and Courier Lafayette Indiana. Brenda Diane Wilson.
Diane had just been to the doctors 2 weeks ago telling them her left leg was hurting and swollen.
Aunt Sandy says, Karen a doctor once told me years ago that when it is your time God knows and there is nothing you can do about it. Your time is up. Diane's time was up. Your kidding right Sandy. So you who had a son die at 18yrs. You knew from birth he would not live into adult hood. He was given all the best doctors, free medicine from Lilly, Trips from make a wish and you your son and family were treated with such dignity with each and every visit to the doctors and hospital. You knew what Diane had to endure, disrespect from doctors and not given the time she needed to get the right diagnose. Free will that doctors can choose to do the right thing or move you along. Moving one along I am sure will shorten one's life.
Social worker is on board. Coat and hat is off and hanging on a hook inside the door so he can see it every time he comes and goes.
Seems it was a mix up at the funeral home. It was suppose to be a showing. Diane was suppose to be done up right and it was paid for. Betsy I was told looked beautiful. No one came as Betsy was not the having a showing. Betsy and Diane got mixed up and the wrong body was done up. They were sorry and the money will be returned. Does anyone see something wrong with all of this. Life is just so short and I am so tired some things we need to let go of. So I tell myself on the one hand, and bursting out in tears with anger in the next.
oldest sister who offered their church I find out they do not do funeral dinners. They do snacks. So Gave her more money for food and gave her a list of people that offered to help me.
This takes place tomorrow. It will be beautiful. Thousand's of dollars spent and I still do not have my protein shakes.
Diane's picture was in the paper today. I don't know how to make links but it's in the Journal and Courier Lafayette Indiana. Brenda Diane Wilson.
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/jconline/obituary.aspx?n=brenda-diane-wilson&pid=169665543
Brenda Diane Wilson (1958 - 2014)
Obituary
Guest Book
Diane Wilson, 55, of Lafayette, passed away suddenly on Monday, February 10, 2014, at St. Elizabeth Hospital. She was born November 7, 1958, in Lafayette, to Edwin and Vanda (Timmons) Wilson.
Diane graduated from Jefferson High school in 1977. She then went on to graduate from Purdue University with a degree in nursing. For many years Diane worked within our community as a registered nurse fulfilling her nursing pledge by devoting herself to all those committed to her care. As a nurse, Diane spent her life tirelessly caring for the sick, the elderly and the infirm. She also lived her life for the friends of the friendless. Her legacy will be of care and compassion. Diane was a small business owner and took pride in her arts and collections. Most importantly Diane was a mother who's life was spent devoted to her children. She was their inspiration and will be deeply missed.
Diane is survived by her daughter, Jennifer Nestleroad of Chicago, IL, and two sons, Christopher Nestleroad and Michael (wife: De'sheanna) Nestleroad, both of Lafayette, and 2 grandchildren, Braxton and Kiaria Nestleroad. She is also survived by her father, Edwin Wilson of Lafayette, three sisters, Denise Wilson, and Karen (husband: Steve) Sullivan, both of Lafayette, Connie (husband: Steve) Crawford of Middlebury, IN, and by her two brothers, Ed Wilson of Lafayette and Christopher Miller of Frankfort, IN. Also surviving are many nieces and nephews.
A Memorial service will be held at 4 p.m. on Saturday, February, 15, at Unitarian Universalist Church, 333 Meridian St., West Lafayette. Interment will be at a later date.
Brenda Diane Wilson (1958 - 2014)
Obituary
Guest Book
- "I'm saddened to see such a remarkable and perfect example..."
- Carl Edwards
Diane graduated from Jefferson High school in 1977. She then went on to graduate from Purdue University with a degree in nursing. For many years Diane worked within our community as a registered nurse fulfilling her nursing pledge by devoting herself to all those committed to her care. As a nurse, Diane spent her life tirelessly caring for the sick, the elderly and the infirm. She also lived her life for the friends of the friendless. Her legacy will be of care and compassion. Diane was a small business owner and took pride in her arts and collections. Most importantly Diane was a mother who's life was spent devoted to her children. She was their inspiration and will be deeply missed.
Diane is survived by her daughter, Jennifer Nestleroad of Chicago, IL, and two sons, Christopher Nestleroad and Michael (wife: De'sheanna) Nestleroad, both of Lafayette, and 2 grandchildren, Braxton and Kiaria Nestleroad. She is also survived by her father, Edwin Wilson of Lafayette, three sisters, Denise Wilson, and Karen (husband: Steve) Sullivan, both of Lafayette, Connie (husband: Steve) Crawford of Middlebury, IN, and by her two brothers, Ed Wilson of Lafayette and Christopher Miller of Frankfort, IN. Also surviving are many nieces and nephews.
A Memorial service will be held at 4 p.m. on Saturday, February, 15, at Unitarian Universalist Church, 333 Meridian St., West Lafayette. Interment will be at a later date.
no words. :085:
please keep venting here.
please keep venting here.
