Howdy

[KathrynK]

My surgeon once told me he thought there should be an IQ test for having this surgery and I admire your thoughtful approach. I had a child at age 43 pre-DS (at 280 lbs on a hi-protein diet when I got pregnant). I think living longer for your son, and giving him a sibling are powerful reasons to do it, and overcoming disability with DS weight loss made me a better parent and helped me get a better job. You will find taking vitamins to be second nature. As for carbs, your appetite will change. You will see food as contributing to your health and not just pleasure. I buy clothes when I want to, not because I have to. You will need good health insurance throughout the DS journey, though. My DS needs come above all else. A surgery mate lost her job and husband in one year and went on welfare, and suffered significant complications because she stopped paying for vitamins and went back to high carb meals. This is a lifetime commitment, no matter what life throws at you. Malabsorption of vitamins and the need for protein is forever. I am confident you will make the right decision, because you are so thoughtful about it.

 

[k9ophile]

Had me a BLT on lightly toasted white bread with home grown 'maters. Yum! I also have mashed potatoes on occasion. The difference is that before WLS I ate them often and in big servings. Now, it's a treat.

Yes, I take a lot of vitamins; it's all part of living with WLS. Yes, I have gas on occasion. Diarrhea? I wish. Well, not really, but I've just come off a long spell of severe constipation by increasing my fiber and water. The DS is a big deal surgery, no doubt about it. It's a life time commitment. But thanks to my WLS, I actually have one that consists of living instead of just existing. You are wise to be cautious.

Read, read, read. Then decide what is best for you.

 

[Webmommy]

I just got more active as the weight dropped off. I don't and didn't do "exercise".

How did you broach that issue with your surgeon? Did they perceive you as less committed because you couldn't?

 

[Webmommy]

Vitamins aren't difficult @Webmommy . I take them once in the morning and again in the evening -- pretty much as I did before DS, I just take more of them.

BTW I have zero bowel/gas issues with potatoes in any form. Actually I have zero bowel/gas issues with any carbs. Too much fat does give me loose, stinky poop -- but that has to be a LOT of fat and I just don't eat like that. Vegetables that are notorious gas producers in just about everybody -- onions and cabbage for example -- give me bad gas, too. Other than that, my bowels are normal. One poop in the morning as I've had all my life. When people have issues with their bowels, they come on forums to talk about it so it may seem like "everybody" who has a DS has bowel issues. But that simply isn't true.

Right, that may be what I'm reading!

 

[Webmommy]

My surgeon once told me he thought there should be an IQ test for having this surgery and I admire your thoughtful approach. I had a child at age 43 pre-DS (at 280 lbs on a hi-protein diet when I got pregnant). I think living longer for your son, and giving him a sibling are powerful reasons to do it, and overcoming disability with DS weight loss made me a better parent and helped me get a better job. You will find taking vitamins to be second nature. As for carbs, your appetite will change. You will see food as contributing to your health and not just pleasure. I buy clothes when I want to, not because I have to. You will need good health insurance throughout the DS journey, though. My DS needs come above all else. A surgery mate lost her job and husband in one year and went on welfare, and suffered significant complications because she stopped paying for vitamins and went back to high carb meals. This is a lifetime commitment, no matter what life throws at you. Malabsorption of vitamins and the need for protein is forever. I am confident you will make the right decision, because you are so thoughtful about it.

Thank you for your words. It was just the right thing I needed to hear since I'm quite afraid of making a mistake and ruining what's left of my life. But I do know there is one thing about me that will keep me taking the vitamins. I'm too vain to ever let anything risk losing my teeth! I don't want neurological issues or osteoporosis either but the risk of going toothless is motivating.

 

[Webmommy]

Had me a BLT on lightly toasted white bread with home grown 'maters. Yum! I also have mashed potatoes on occasion. The difference is that before WLS I ate them often and in big servings. Now, it's a treat.

Yes, I take a lot of vitamins; it's all part of living with WLS. Yes, I have gas on occasion. Diarrhea? I wish. Well, not really, but I've just come off a long spell of severe constipation by increasing my fiber and water. The DS is a big deal surgery, no doubt about it. It's a life time commitment. But thanks to my WLS, I actually have one that consists of living instead of just existing. You are wise to be cautious.

Read, read, read. Then decide what is best for you.

Those are good points. Thank you!

 

[Webmommy]

Thanks again for the warm welcome everyone.

 

[Munchkin]

Just an idea but perhaps you should get a bunch of eggs frozen now. Then have the surgery. You could have a normal weight pregnancy down the road. If you didn't get PG on your own, you have an insurance policy, frozen eggs!

Welcome to the group! With all the problems lurking in your neighborhood I can't think of anything that would get you a better shot at a normal weight than the DS. I had mine ages ago and there is nothing I can't eat and the vites just become a habit. No big deal.

 

[Webmommy]

Just an idea but perhaps you should get a bunch of eggs frozen now. Then have the surgery. You could have a normal weight pregnancy down the road. If you didn't get PG on your own, you have an insurance policy, frozen eggs!

Welcome to the group! With all the problems lurking in your neighborhood I can't think of anything that would get you a better shot at a normal weight than the DS. I had mine ages ago and there is nothing I can't eat and the vites just become a habit. No big deal.

That's a good idea. I'm happy to hear that it's no big deal for you!

 

[Webmommy]

Just an idea but perhaps you should get a bunch of eggs frozen now. Then have the surgery. You could have a normal weight pregnancy down the road. If you didn't get PG on your own, you have an insurance policy, frozen eggs!

Welcome to the group! With all the problems lurking in your neighborhood I can't think of anything that would get you a better shot at a normal weight than the DS. I had mine ages ago and there is nothing I can't eat and the vites just become a habit. No big deal.

OK I thought about the egg freezing thing. They won't let me do IVF because my bmi is too high for sedation during egg retrieval at their facility so I'm pretty sure they won't do just an egg retrieval. Also the drugs don't work as well. Pcos: the stuff that makes you infertile and fat where you're punished for both.

 

[DianaCox]

I would find out about getting the retrieval done at another facility - I would think it would be better to have a pregnancy later at a healthier weight - get the eggs frozen now while you're only 40, then get your DS and have a baby in 3 years.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, but the bigger the difference in age between your disabled child and the next one, the more assurance you will have that the younger child will be around to supervise the care of the older one, if you die first.

My daughter has stage 4 endometriosis, and various other problems (she's already had two surgeries to remove ovarian endometriomas, endometrial plaques and a septum from her uterus); she could lose her ovaries at any time from another endometrioma that could rupture or could cause ovarian torsion. She has had two rounds of egg harvesting; the second time, she was in a stable relationship so they froze embryos. She will have surgery later this year to remove more endometrial plaques, several uterine fibroids and her fallopian tubes, since the endo has given her hydrosalpinx - the fluid in the tubes can be toxic to the fetus. So she will not be ready to try to get PG anytime soon (she's almost 34), but preserving her fertility was a priority. That's why I know a little bit about some of these issues.

 

[Webmommy]

I would find out about getting the retrieval done at another facility - I would think it would be better to have a pregnancy later at a healthier weight - get the eggs frozen now while you're only 40, then get your DS and have a baby in 3 years.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, but the bigger the difference in age between your disabled child and the next one, the more assurance you will have that the younger child will be around to supervise the care of the older one, if you die first.

My daughter has stage 4 endometriosis, and various other problems (she's already had two surgeries to remove ovarian endometriomas, endometrial plaques and a septum from her uterus); she could lose her ovaries at any time from another endometrioma that could rupture or could cause ovarian torsion. She has had two rounds of egg harvesting; the second time, she was in a stable relationship so they froze embryos. She will have surgery later this year to remove more endometrial plaques, several uterine fibroids and her fallopian tubes, since the endo has given her hydrosalpinx - the fluid in the tubes can be toxic to the fetus. So she will not be ready to try to get PG anytime soon (she's almost 34), but preserving her fertility was a priority. That's why I know a little bit about some of these issues.

Your poor daughter. I had endometriosis toof but after I had a clean out 20 years ago it's been ok but not as bad as hers. I wish her the best of luck!

Egg retrieval would have to be done in a hospital and our insurance doesn't cover anything fertility related. We can't pay for the meds nor the egg retrieval now even if we wanted too. Our water heater, dryer, ice maker, water main and both air conditioners broke in our home this summer then to add insult to injury our ac broke in the car. It was crazy.

Anyway, your rationale is correct about the sibling. He will be ten soon. It's one of the reasons we are trying to conceive even though I'm disabled by pain. We do want another child, especially a girl, because GIRLS ARE AWESOME! But we also want them to have each other after we're gone. Plus I'm HORRIFIED at the thought of my son being left to the system. I'd have ten more kids to ensure that never happens. He can't fully express himself and as it is I worry about someone hurting him now. He's a funny guy, adorable and we think he's perfect. He's not grown yet so we have time.

 

[southernlady]

How did you broach that issue with your surgeon? Did they perceive you as less committed because you couldn't?

I didn't broach it with my surgeon. My "exercise physiologist" told me yard work and home renovations were NOT exercise...I haven't been back to that office since except to pick up a copy of my surgical report. When you are sweating buckets doing those, I consider it beneficial. I don't and never have liked "exercise". I will walk, I have used a pool to swim.

And why should I be any less committed if I can't exercise they way THEY think I should? I tried that route decades ago...it took going every day for 2-3 hours to see any improvement...I don't have that kind of time to waste. I have too much life to live than to be exercising all the damned time. See my posts in this thread: http://bariatricfacts.org/threads/how-much-exercise-do-you-need.3033/

 

[duh_Mom]

you know the "exercise physiologist" who was just barely old enough to drive for me tried to tell me the same thing. Hell, at 300 my activity was moving my thumb up and down as I flipped the channels. It was a bit of an effort to recline the chair too. if I HAD to I would walk the 10 steps to the kitchen to get something to eat. I could also ask who ever was going that way to bring me something. I did not get any movement in shopping either - I was a walmart buggy lady.

so, when I could do yard work again - digging holes to put out roses, and phlox, bending and stooping weeding - throwing 50 bags of mulch around and then spreading it - mowing with a walk behind... DON'T tell me that is not exercise. When you go from ultimate sedentary to yard work or what ever you choose to do - that is such a vast improvement. Just tells me the "EP" does not understand.

 

[hilary1617]

Hi and welcome @Webmommy . Protein and vitamins are a breeze once you get in the habit - but only you really know yourself and compliance isn't optional with DS. That said, it is well worth it - one of the best decisions I ever made.

I do think it would be best to have DS and then get pregnant, as after recovery and stabilization (18 months- 2 years out), you will physically be in much better shape to handle the demands of pregnancy. Egg freezing sounds like a great plan. I have to add that I had PCOS and needed Clomid (actually taking it, then stopping taking it) for both of my children. Prior to DS, I always had to go get a prescription of provera to get a period - it rarely came of its own accord. Literally the day after I had a DS, I had a normal non-induced period, and ever since DS I have had a period once every month like clockwork. So DS may increase fertility. Sadly, my tubes were tied well before I had DS so I find this period thing a downside of DS, but on the flip-side it is a sign of a normal, healthy, fertile body...

All the best.