Food police? Intrusive people?

[Elizabeth N.]

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/01/22/how-to-respond-to-rude-or-inappropriate-remarks/

 

[southernlady]

Interesting article.

My daddy is in the "just trying to be helpful" crowd...I have tried the "just don't answer" but it doesn't seem to connect that he's made an inappropriate comment. I recently started telling him that I understand he is trying to be helpful but his comments are rude and would he please stop. But at 86, I think the filter is missing.

 

[newanatomy]

Great article, thanks for sharing!

 

[Munchkin]

Good article!

 

[JackieOnLine]

very good article.

 

[Hala]

And they there are also a number of "simple-minded" folks who would never "get it" why their question or comment was inappropriate...

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Interesting article.

My daddy is in the "just trying to be helpful" crowd...I have tried the "just don't answer" but it doesn't seem to connect that he's made an inappropriate comment. I recently started telling him that I understand he is trying to be helpful but his comments are rude and would he please stop. But at 86, I think the filter is missing.

I would have long since snarled at him to STFU and probably walked out on him. ARGH.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

And they there are also a number of "simple-minded" folks who would never "get it" why their question or comment was inappropriate...

Oh my yes. Worst are when they INSIST on talking about "what was wronnnnnnng *whine*....."

Years ago, in Germany, I visited friends for a few days. One afternoon during the coffee hour (enshrined German tradition when entertaining visitors), two of them decided to go to town on me about my weight and eating habits. Oh. My. GAWDINHEAVEN. On and on they went. Even when I started to cry, it was all, "We love you and want to hellllllp you....."

(I was a different person back then lol.)

When I finally pushed back and told them to GET OFF THE SUBJECT, they were genuinely offended. They were just being my loving and caring sisters in Christ, and how DARE I not accept their "love" in the spirit in which it was intended?

I don't think they ever comprehended what they did wrong. Of course, it's been over 20 years since I last had any communication with either of them, so something could have changed....

 

[southernlady]

I would have long since snarled at him to STFU and probably walked out on him. ARGH.

Yeah, but EN, he's my daddy...

I just come home and my poor dh lets me rant at him!

 

[MsVee]

Interesting article. Lately I don't respond I wait long enough to make the person uncomfortable and shrug and say "this is rather awkward". I do not respond to the remark that made me uncomfortable. This usually ends the exchange.


MsVee

 

[newanatomy]

Interesting article. Lately I don't respond I wait long enough to make the person uncomfortable and shrug and say "this is rather awkward". I do not respond to the remark that made me uncomfortable. This usually ends the exchange.


MsVee

That is fantastic! I am so using this from now on.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

That is fantastic! I am so using this from now on.

I have been known to use what I call the "patented EN glare," something I learned from reading Miss Manners. Works like a charm most of the time, except on the totally clueless.

 

[Tabitha]

I am dealing with this right now. I am losing weight rapidly and the constant comments, questions and remarks make me want to become a hermit.

 

[Ricky136]

Embrace it Tabitha. Turn it into positive.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I remember a suggestion along these lines:

Them: you're too fat/eating the wrong stuff/losing too much weight/whatever
You: I'm sorry...what did you say?
Them: you're too fat/eating the wrong stuff/losing too much weight/whatever
You: Wow! At first, I couldn't believe that anyone would say/ask anything so rude/personal/offensive...but now that you've repeated it, I guess my hearing is fine.