Feliz Festivus!!

[JackieOnLine]

An extended family member has recently diagnosed ALS

oh, ****. so sorry!

 

[hilary1617]

@Spiky Bugger -

So sorry to read about your mom. Dementia is so very cruel. I wish my dad wasn't headed down that same road, but I see it coming - right now it is all verbal, but the rage, loss of control, critical/attack mode, are really scary and are more and more his most prevalent state. Most days, if we're lucky we'll get an hour of the big-hearted wacky professor coming to the surface (usually timed right after a nap). Then the evil twin returns.

I'm with you on the fentanyl. Wish there were a box of patch for him and the rest of us who are walking on eggshells!

I'm also sorry about your family member's diagnosis.

Here's to hoping for medical advances which eradicate these devastating conditions that rob folks of being themselves.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

@Spiky Bugger -

So sorry to read about your mom. Dementia is so very cruel. I wish my dad wasn't headed down that same road, but I see it coming - right now it is all verbal, but the rage, loss of control, critical/attack mode, are really scary and are more and more his most prevalent state. Most days, if we're lucky we'll get an hour of the big-hearted wacky professor coming to the surface (usually timed right after a nap). Then the evil twin returns.

I'm with you on the fentanyl. Wish there were a box of patch for him and the rest of us who are walking on eggshells!

I'm also sorry about your family member's diagnosis.

Here's to hoping for medical advances which eradicate these devastating conditions that rob folks of being themselves.

Yeah...right after I wrote about this, my sister called and I read my last post to her. She said that the beating she got was not anywhere as bad as the verbal thrashings...the onslaught of "You must not be very smart...you never went to college." (Either did Mom.). Or, "Why do you think you know anything? The hardest thing you ever did for a living was answer phones!" (Ironically...that was not only the same job Mom had...BUT IT WAS FOR THE SAME COMPANY IN THE SAME BUILDING. It was literally insane.)

I never want to do that to my child, even if I can blame it on a disease. Seriously, I would want to die rather than have no control over that kind of thought process or behavior. It is so destructive.

 

[newanatomy]

My mom had dementia, not...as far as we know...Alzheimer's. That didn't keep her from PHYSICALLY attacking my sister. I mean, brutally...scratching, hitting, grabbing, tearing her clothes...that kind of thing. And as anyone with younger siblings can tell you, no one except the older sibling can do that. I was verklempt. Had she been anyone else on the planet, I'd have hit her over the head with the nearest piece of furniture. My sister forgave her far sooner than
I did...but I couldn't say anything to Mom, because she probably had no clue as to what she had done. I just remained afraid of her, and what she might do next.

That disease is evil...that's why the gods made fentanyl patches...in bulk! Sorry if that offends anyone's sensibilities--and I have no current need for this "solution" so don't be trying to "save" me as I'm not yet headed for any escape routes--but enough fentanyl, I'm told, can relieve all kinds of pain. (An extended family member has recently diagnosed ALS and has recently gone in for a sleep study! If I had ALS and could die just by "going to sleep and not waking up," that would be high on my list of things to try. From here, it sounds like "the easy way out." But, to each her own.)

Sorry you are going through this awfulness with your family!

 

[newanatomy]

@hilary1617, you have a lot on your plate. You must be a very strong woman!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

@hilary1617, you have a lot on your plate. You must be a very strong woman!

She is amazing!!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Sorry you are going through this awfulness with your family!

The Mom part is done. She died two years ago this month. The extended family person is going to do what she wants. She, and her immediate family, are very religious...so they will likely approach this from that angle. We are hanging in for the moment and I'm just whining about all my aches and pains and old age! But it isn't critical. I didn't mean to make it sound that way.

 

[newanatomy]

The Mom part is done. She died two years ago this month. The extended family person is going to do what she wants. She, and her immediate family, are very religious...so they will likely approach this from that angle. We are hanging in for the moment and I'm just whining about all my aches and pains and old age! But it isn't critical. I didn't mean to make it sound that way.

Doesn't seem to be critical. Doesn't sound like fun either.

 

[DianaCox]

My father is 83, and having short-term memory issues - pretty much everything else is intact (his ladyfriend got him enrolled in a memory clinic study, so he's been very thoroughly examined). He is pretty distressed over the memory issues he's having, of which he is painfully aware - and his SO is making it worse, because she gets ANGRY at him when he forgets things. She refuses to acknowledge her own issues (she's a year younger than him), including her increasing lack of social filters - at some point, I'm going to have to step in and bring him home, to save him from her frustration. And then the fun will begin.

I am in awe of those of you dealing with these issues now, or in the past - and I will likely be looking to you for advice in the future.

 

[JackieOnLine]

it's good you are looking ahead and aware of the issue, anyway.

 

[hilary1617]

Long, bittersweet, but surprisingly low key day today. Mom and dad are off to fly the friendly skies tomorrow at 1pm. I called the airline and ordered a wheelchair for him and cocktail for her.

Apparently, I had my own senior moment this week. I have to drive to my cousin's place in the city tail between my legs tomorrow a.m. to return a 17 year old boy's jacket that I took home from a party Christmas Eve in lieu of my own. He was probably thrilled not only to have his coat confused for that of a middle-aged mom, but more so, to reach in the pocket and pull out my well-stocked secret stash of feminine need products.

I plan on including a Starbucks gift card along with my "I'm an idiot. I'm going to write you a check for $5 and we'll pretend none of this ever happened" apology note. I mean, what is the appropriate gift/apology for stealing a kid's coat on Christmas?!

 

[revisionDS]

I'm not too young but I never watched that show...I had to ask a friend of mine earlier today on FB what that was after he posted something about it! Lol

I never watched an episode either

 

[revisionDS]

My mom had dementia, not...as far as we know...Alzheimer's. That didn't keep her from PHYSICALLY attacking my sister. I mean, brutally...scratching, hitting, grabbing, tearing her clothes...that kind of thing. And as anyone with younger siblings can tell you, no one except the older sibling can do that. I was verklempt. Had she been anyone else on the planet, I'd have hit her over the head with the nearest piece of furniture. My sister forgave her far sooner than
I did...but I couldn't say anything to Mom, because she probably had no clue as to what she had done. I just remained afraid of her, and what she might do next.

That disease is evil...that's why the gods made fentanyl patches...in bulk! Sorry if that offends anyone's sensibilities--and I have no current need for this "solution" so don't be trying to "save" me as I'm not yet headed for any escape routes--but enough fentanyl, I'm told, can relieve all kinds of pain. (An extended family member has recently diagnosed ALS and has recently gone in for a sleep study! If I had ALS and could die just by "going to sleep and not waking up," that would be high on my list of things to try. From here, it sounds like "the easy way out." But, to each her own.)

my mom has dementia also, was admiteed to a nursing home last year, relatively "young" she is not violent, more memory issue quite debilitating, but yes dementia-alzheimer's is just an awful thing to see. My co-workers mom has alzheimer's in a nursing home, her mom is 59. How those nursing home dementia employees deal with that constantly is amazing, well I guess that is why there is elderly abuse. sometimes living longer is a curse and not a blessing, for me it is about quality of life not quantity, but sometimes we can't decide when we go. I think I will get dementia die a slow and painful death of vit/min def and maluntrition-now that wasn't too morbid was it

 

[Spiky Bugger]

my mom has dementia also, was admiteed to a nursing home last year, relatively "young" she is not violent, more memory issue quite debilitating, but yes dementia-alzheimer's is just an awful thing to see. My co-workers mom has alzheimer's in a nursing home, her mom is 59. How those nursing home dementia employees deal with that constantly is amazing, well I guess that is why there is elderly abuse. sometimes living longer is a curse and not a blessing, for me it is about quality of life not quantity, but sometimes we can't decide when we go. I think I will get dementia die a slow and painful death of vit/min def and maluntrition-now that wasn't too morbid was it

Quality of Life Issues...crucial. When our daughter was seven, she came out of her room in tears. "Mommy...I'm sad...I'm wishing mean things about Granddaddy." (My step-father had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and we had explained it as much as we thought was appropriate for her level of development.)

"Tell me about it," I prompted.

She said, "I think it would be better for Granddaddy to die. He is so confused and he can't do the things he likes and I think if he could see how confused he is, he would be so sad. I feel bad that I want him to die instead of being like this for a long time."

I explained, yes...to a 7-year-old...that she was, in fact, dealing with what people called "quality of life" issues. And that it was really a grown-up thing to be thinking about, but not a mean thing at all. I agreed with her that I would rather have a shorter life NOT having Alzheimer's than a longer life WITH it...and Granddaddy would, too. And that by wishing that Granddaddy would die sooner, it just meant she didn't want him to be sad or suffer, but that she was wishing his sickness, which we knew would never go away, would stop...the only way it could.

Granddaddy lived another seven years. It was torture for everyone.

And, NO! Don't go that way!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Long, bittersweet, but surprisingly low key day today. Mom and dad are off to fly the friendly skies tomorrow at 1pm. I called the airline and ordered a wheelchair for him and cocktail for her.

Apparently, I had my own senior moment this week. I have to drive to my cousin's place in the city tail between my legs tomorrow a.m. to return a 17 year old boy's jacket that I took home from a party Christmas Eve in lieu of my own. He was probably thrilled not only to have his coat confused for that of a middle-aged mom, but more so, to reach in the pocket and pull out my well-stocked secret stash of feminine need products.

I plan on including a Starbucks gift card along with my "I'm an idiot. I'm going to write you a check for $5 and we'll pretend none of this ever happened" apology note. I mean, what is the appropriate gift/apology for stealing a kid's coat on Christmas?!

My BIL bought some toy at Toys R Us .com for his 12-year grandson. Ordered it gift-wrapped. On Christmas Eve, the kid opened the package and whined, "This is baby stuff." Bystanders thought he was being a bit of a brat. This is what was in the package:

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=17879926&cp=&parentPage=search


So maybe you could blame it on an elderly relative or something...and be glad it didn't involve breastfeeding, as well!