death of a man I never met

[JackieOnLine]

so here is the newspaper story announcing the death of a man I never met but knew from posting online. he owned a river rafting company in Durango, Colorado and was found dead along with this dog. They won't know until they finish tests but suspect CO, although it says he had some medical issues that could have done it. and that might mean his dog just died of not having water or some terrible thing.

we both posted on a couple online forums and, at the smaller one, he made the offer of a free rafting trip to any of us that could get there. I considered doing it and didn't: regretted it ever since. so, now I never can.

life is SO ******* short. we know this but have to keep learning it over and over, it seems.




I am shocked at grieving so much but he was one of those larger than life people and not just for me, going by the RIP thread posts I am reading. It's a bit like if I went to facebook and learned Diana Cox had died: someone I have a strong sense of as an actual, 3D person even though I have never met her.

 

[DianaCox]

Charles and I did a river rafting trip in Durango in ~2006 - we might have met him. But there were multiple companies there, and the boss man probably didn't run the trips (it was just an urban rafting trip, for newbies). I'm sorry to hear about this - and I fully understand what you mean. The internet has allowed much more fully-rounded relationships with people you never meet, and it is devastating when people die - especially when a real-life meeting was planned, but doesn't happen in time. I am still destroyed about never meeting Mary Quantz (Finnigan from OH), who was someone I spoke to most days for several years, and was great support and help to me during the civil harassment trial. We planned a long RV trip to include Michigan just to meet her.

 

[JackieOnLine]

the boss man probably didn't run the trips

no, he definitely did - so you may have. But, I am guessing not as there are a lot of rafting companies and his was a small one. also, he sounds pretty memorable: one poster said it was like meeting Earnest Hemingway.

I am still destroyed about never meeting Mary Quantz (Finnigan from OH), who was someone I spoke to most days for several years, and was great support and help to me during the civil harassment trial. We planned a long RV trip to include Michigan just to meet her.

and she has died? I'm sorry, I didn't know that. I have a vague memory of her from OH.

I guess the internet just brings so many more options to meet and communicate there are more ways to feel a loss.

I'm trying to decide if I want to go to the memorial his family is planning - it's probably in June and in Moab. that's someplace I'd love to see so it's a great place to plan a trip. but there are so many people I know or even just know "of" from the internet maybe it makes more sense to choose one and MEET them. make that happen, despite issues of distance and money.

 

[JackieOnLine]

the forum won't let me edit again so

ETA: I would make sure his family was OK with that first, sounds like everyone would be welcome​

 

[Whit]

I am sorry for your loss. We get so close to people online. Sometimes closer then those we see IRL. Perhaps it because we feel free to share so much of our the nitty gritty of life. Life is short you should raft. I did it in Costa Rica at 250 pounds and although terrified it was a blast and I'm glad I did it. Ziplining not so much.
Take care

 

[JackieOnLine]

I did get to raft, with my Mom, for a couple hours. I was afraid but I did it. She was not!

oh, I went on another short trip with co-workers. I fell out but managed to remember what they said to do and the guide (a woman who looked to be about 98 pounds if her hair was wet) had me back in the boat in a twinkling.

but a longer trip, with camping over night, that I need to try!

thanks, Whit, I'm not moved to try ziplining but I sure wanting to try hot air ballooning.

 

[southernlady]

I understand what you are saying.

Btw, I only tried rafting one time...was not a real fan. And my only exposure to ziplining was courtesy of the military...yelled "oh ****" all the way down!

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Strange how some deaths can hit so hard. I wandered around sad for more time than normal when Natalie Wood died. We had never met

And "Finnegan" (which I think was actually her dog's name) and I spoke only a couple of times, although we emailed frequently. And I, too, still miss her.

If you died, I'd miss you...a lot.

 

[DianaCox]

On that same trip, two days apart, I rafted in Durango and ziplined for the first time. Charles arranged both - he stuck to the rafting trip, but backed out of the ziplining after he was suited up. I had a blast, and did it again (by myself) in Costa Rica. It is really fun, and in some ways, less scary than a roller coaster.

 

[k9ophile]

A high school classmate posted on FB about a woman dying that she knew only from FB. At first glance, cyber space friendships seem artificial. But we know they aren't. I've grown fond of many people here.

I cried when Millie Bush died. I've obviously never met President and Barbara Bush, yet I'd like to think of all presidential pets as non-partisans. I NEVER watch a show if I know the animal dies.

 

[hilary1617]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard anytime we lose someone with whom we connected, digitally or face to face. My heart goes out to you.

 

[southernlady]

A man very instrumental in dealing with my diabetes back in 1997 onward, died 18 months ago of cancer. I never met him face to face, just online. http://www.mendosa.com/ David Mendosa. If not for him and his web site (which is now in trust to be maintained), I would not have found the help I needed to tackle my diabetes aggressively.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

And...deaths of people I have met. One good death, one bad one.

A former neighbor...from 50+ years ago. The husband and I reconnected via the interwebz and his wife called me (from Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada) and we chatted like olden times. Unexpected death. In his youth, NOTHING slowed him down. Very Irish Catholic with babies born annually...until he had testicular cancer. That's why there's a TWO YEAR GAP between babies #3 and 4...lol.

The other death was long overdue. My nephew's MIL, poor, poor thing, had ALS. They just wouldn't let her go...she's been bedridden, unable to communicate or eat, or move or breathe on her own for several years. I don't know what prompted it, but they administered morphine and finally unplugged her and she died at 7:00 this morning. Nephew's wife is a disaster, but their son...grandson of the deceased...said, "I feel like grandma died a few years ago and my mom and grandpa just figured it out."

I told MiniSue that if she plugged me in with something like ALS, I'd figure out a way to take her with me. That is, to me, WAY scarier than the thought of dying.

 

[DianaCox]

"That is, to me, WAY scarier than the thought of dying."

That - and being sentient - was the repetitive intrusive thought that I kept having when I was struggling with my post-Reglan depression/suicidal ideation. Every little thing would have me imagining myself in a nursing home, immobile, lonely and helpless.

Mom's steep downslide into a vegetative dementia was mercifully "quick" - only 6 or so weeks. But she was scared and disoriented and unhappy for several months before that - probably since last March or April.

 

[Whit]

Whit, I'm not moved to try ziplining but I sure wanting to try hot air ballooning. [/QUOTE]

Oh not me! I am afraid of heights. I went parasailing when we went to Maui about 15 years ago. I did love that but we were tethered to the boat so I felt relatively "safe". I went up tandem with my husband. It was hilarious because the guy who sold us the tickets said together it would be to much weight. The captain said no problem so up we went all 450 pounds of us! Lived to tell about it. Haha!