CHarris...and anyone with multi-racial social experiences...

[Spiky Bugger]

@Charris

So...I'm not African American. And I don't have a lot of AA friends and those I do have are mostly men and they don't count. Because...you know...it doesn't matter what race a guy is, he's still a guy.

Anyway...I had to attend a funeral this morning. Decedent was a young AA male. And I have a big, fat head...really...so I don't have a lot of hats because they almost never fit. I'm 67 years old.

In MY history, the AA women my age would never have gone to a funeral without a hat. It just was too important to show up bare-headed. So, I wore a black pantsuit, with big gray buttons, a grey tank top visible under the jacket, black boots (low) and a black cloche hat...out of respect for what I thought was appropriate in that culture. (Like taking a big ass scarf if you go to a Muslim service of some kind...out of respect for their values, not trying to pass as one of them.)

There were probably over 200 people there and most were men and in uniform. But of the remaining 30-40 or so women, there were only two other women in hats...one anglo woman, one AA woman...both probably 30-ish plus the mother of the decedent who is in her 50s and who had a tied scarf-type head cover. The decedent was a firefighter, so there were several young women in uniform with hats, but I'm not counting them.

So, speaking on behalf of the entire African American population of the United States...something
I sure you love doing...can you bring me up to date on hats at weddings and funerals in "the African American community?"

Should an old broad such as I continue to wear a hat to weddings/funerals when the major players are African American? Or is that old school now and nobody does it?

Tyia

Sue

 

[DianaCox]

At the risk of tying yourself to a locale, perhaps the answer lies to some extent in geography?

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Don't think so. Headdress is/was an important component of getting dressed in Africa. And even THE WAY head scarves are tied survived kidnapping and slavery. African American men have gotten in trouble for "not removing a hat indoors" when the hat is part of the overall look, not an add-on as it is in mainstream Anglo cultures here and abroad. Until recently, if you were plus sized and wanted a "church hat" to go with your new suit, Catherine's was the Go To place for the whole look...but not so much recently.

http://www.pinterest.com/dropdeaddiva56/crowns-african-headdress-to-african-american-hats-/

I "singled out" Charris because she is in the southwest, as am I, and because she appears to be AA...although that could be a huge error on my part.

 

[Jbandmmomma]

Growing up in the southeast, ladies' hats were appropriate for these occasions. In more recent years (last 20 or so), not as prevalent, but still done by some women. I think still appropriate, depending on the wearers' comfort level.

 

[MsVee]

It really depends on the family. I am African American and we are a bit traditional. Also it matters where the service was held. In a church for us a hat would be worn, at a funeral parlor it would have been optional.
All of the women in my mothers generation would have worn hats my generation about fifty fifty.

Today society is a lot less formal. The main thing is that you came to pay your respects. It also depends north or south. My mothers family is from Inman SC at services there about 80% would have worn hats. I live on Long Island, suburbs of New York City and probably about 25% would have worn hats.

Wearing a hat is definitely a sign of respect it like so many niceties it is falling by the wayside.

MsVee

 

[southernlady]

@MsVee, we are right up the road from where your mom's family is from.

 

[MsVee]

It really is a small world. We usually pop down during the summer for family get togethers. I also have relatives in Tryon and Landrum.


MsVee

 

[southernlady]

@MsVee, we live IN Tryon...Right near the Pinecrest B&B and just above Sidestreet Pizza!

 

[Elizabeth N.]

In my neck of the woods, you'll never go wrong by wearing a hat to such an occasion. The few times I've done so, the gesture was deeply appreciated.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Thank you. I'm a half-Mexican, half-Italian, Catholic school survivor (in my youth, the old ladies knew that a black dress, a black hat or "chapel veil," a rosary in hand and maybe red lipstick/nails, but no other color was pretty much required.). Now I'm living in an area dominated by mostly old, mostly White, mostly Mormons. I didn't have ANYONE to ask, except online, that was from a background similar to the decedent.

I wore the hat and used the scarf as a scarf. Lol

Thanks...

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Well Spiky One, since you're a self described old fart, you can get away with being "old fashioned."

I love the Internet. It was my doorway to diversity and transformation.

 

[Barb1]

I love this thread because I am learning something I knew nothing about. Thank you everyone.
Barb

 

[Spiky Bugger]

It really depends on the family. I am African American and we are a bit traditional. Also it matters where the service was held. In a church for us a hat would be worn, at a funeral parlor it would have been optional.
All of the women in my mothers generation would have worn hats my generation about fifty fifty.

Today society is a lot less formal. The main thing is that you came to pay your respects. It also depends north or south. My mothers family is from Inman SC at services there about 80% would have worn hats. I live on Long Island, suburbs of New York City and probably about 25% would have worn hats.

Wearing a hat is definitely a sign of respect it like so many niceties it is falling by the wayside.

MsVee

I forgot to mention, @MsVee ...I bought this hat, this cheap hat that actually fits my fat head, about a year ago, in the gift shop at the Tenement Museum, way down on Orchard Street on the Lower East Side. So we could have met halfway for coffee or something. Darn!

 

[Charris]

@Charris

So...I'm not African American. And I don't have a lot of AA friends and those I do have are mostly men and they don't count. Because...you know...it doesn't matter what race a guy is, he's still a guy.

Anyway...I had to attend a funeral this morning. Decedent was a young AA male. And I have a big, fat head...really...so I don't have a lot of hats because they almost never fit. I'm 67 years old.

In MY history, the AA women my age would never have gone to a funeral without a hat. It just was too important to show up bare-headed. So, I wore a black pantsuit, with big gray buttons, a grey tank top visible under the jacket, black boots (low) and a black cloche hat...out of respect for what I thought was appropriate in that culture. (Like taking a big ass scarf if you go to a Muslim service of some kind...out of respect for their values, not trying to pass as one of them.)

There were probably over 200 people there and most were men and in uniform. But of the remaining 30-40 or so women, there were only two other women in hats...one anglo woman, one AA woman...both probably 30-ish plus the mother of the decedent who is in her 50s and who had a tied scarf-type head cover. The decedent was a firefighter, so there were several young women in uniform with hats, but I'm not counting them.

So, speaking on behalf of the entire African American population of the United States...something
I sure you love doing...can you bring me up to date on hats at weddings and funerals in "the African American community?"

Should an old broad such as I continue to wear a hat to weddings/funerals when the major players are African American? Or is that old school now and nobody does it?

Tyia

Sue

@ Spiky Bugger Well now it depends on what type of church you attend. If it is AME, COGIC. .which is Church of God in Christ AND SOUTHERN BAPTIST they still wear hats a lot. COGIC IS COGIC no matter where hats and long dresses, no make up usually. If You are Baptist or full gospel hats is a thing we're the older mothers of the church might wear and very rarely. Like my church is a mega church 2000 people each service we have 3 services. You may see a total of 25-50 hats total between all three services. We are baptist/full gospel. But I'm out West. My X is from Alabama southern Baptist and he freaked out when going to church with me we have different structures depending on which denomination and demographics. Down South it is more of a sin to not wear a hat unlike it is where I am.

 

[Munchkin]

Went to a funeral for a friend a few months ago. Didn't see too many hats but there were some. Now the gentleman who died was a musician and it doesn't matter much what their skin color is, they do tend to have more avant garde friends than the rest of the population just because of what they do. Most of the women wearing hats were older AA women.