Blocking: I don't do it often, but when I do, it's usually permanent

[DianaCox]

I'm pretty easy to annoy, but slow to anger. I only have a very few people blocked on Facebook - they fall in three categories:

(1) People who are or who are known friends with my stalker
(2) People who I don't know at all but who have creeped me out
(3) People I consider such irretrievable ******** that I don't want to ever interact with them again, nor do I want them to have the benefit of my words. Some of these people have been the whiny nannying ******* who have encouraged mods to kick me off of a surgery board (usually the blow rainbows up the ass variety).

Lately, I have seen a few of the latter category showing up here. I have NO and I repeat NO interest in having any kind of interaction here, any more than I wanted to have one on FB. I really wish we had a functional two-way blocking function here.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Ditto on the blocking, AND if I could sort members by arrival date I might be able to figure out who is bugging you!

 

[hilary1617]

Along a related vein, I wonder if there would be any value in providing read-only or moderated access to newbies for certain critical board areas/threads of a informational/veteran advice nature (the sort that gets stickied). E.g. Minimum DS vitamin/nutritional requirements, vetted surgeons and surgeon reviews, descriptions of surgeries and their attendant risks and benefits, where misinformation and/or doubting-Thomas behavior could potentially lead to adverse health-consequences for other newbies.

There is definitely value in constructive criticism, challenge, debate, opinion, etc., but given the real risk of confusion or harm to pre-ops, it might be helpful to consider progressive posting arrangements where community experience and credibility (or at least some degree of commitment to the community) are required to be demonstrated prior to being granted free rein to influence threads intended to deliver the most health-critical messages to newbies.

 

[DianaCox]

Ditto on the blocking, AND if I could sort members by arrival date I might be able to figure out who is bugging you!

Indeed you can: go to Members, then Sort by Registration Date, then Descending. However, the specific person who provoked this post joined some time ago, but also recently joined another FB page I belong to, and apparently just noticed that they are blocked, and so they are asking around about it - I had been blissfully oblivious to their existence for quite a while.

Along a related vein, I wonder if there would be any value in providing read-only or moderated access to newbies for certain critical board areas/threads of a informational/veteran advice nature (the sort that gets stickied). E.g. Minimum DS vitamin/nutritional requirements, vetted surgeons and surgeon reviews, descriptions of surgeries and their attendant risks and benefits, where misinformation and/or doubting-Thomas behavior could potentially lead to adverse health-consequences for other newbies.

There is definitely value in constructive criticism, challenge, debate, opinion, etc., but given the real risk of confusion or harm to pre-ops, it might be helpful to consider progressive posting arrangements where community experience and credibility (or at least some degree of commitment to the community) are required to be demonstrated prior to being granted free rein to influence threads intended to deliver the most health-critical messages to newbies.

Actually, there ARE some levels of access that depend on your status:

• Everyone can read most areas of the site, including the stickied posts in the main forum
• You have to be a member with over 50 posts to get into the R&R section
• There are a couple more uber-secret places too, for the founders group, and one for the actual staff (which, by the way, does not include me)

I think anyone can sticky a post; however, I also think the mods can unsticky them if they are not deserving of that status. If you think there are sticky posts that should be unstuck, I think you can report it to a mod and they can take that under advisement. (Is that right @southernlady?)

 

[JackieOnLine]

while we are waiting on Liz, Diana let me know if anyone is bugging you here.

and that last post sounds right.

 

[DianaCox]

Nope, not being bugged at all, in either place - it is just that I have become aware of a couple of people who joined DSP (but I was unaware of them doing so) and are also here. And I was feeling grumpy about it.

 

[southernlady]

Actually most of your post is correct.

However, not everyone can sticky, that right is reserved for admins, mods, and Founders.

But yes, if something gets stickies that either is out of date or shouldn't be stickied, an admin or mod can unsticky.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Along a related vein, I wonder if there would be any value in providing read-only or moderated access to newbies for certain critical board areas/threads of a informational/veteran advice nature (the sort that gets stickied). E.g. Minimum DS vitamin/nutritional requirements, vetted surgeons and surgeon reviews, descriptions of surgeries and their attendant risks and benefits, where misinformation and/or doubting-Thomas behavior could potentially lead to adverse health-consequences for other newbies.

There is definitely value in constructive criticism, challenge, debate, opinion, etc., but given the real risk of confusion or harm to pre-ops, it might be helpful to consider progressive posting arrangements where community experience and credibility (or at least some degree of commitment to the community) are required to be demonstrated prior to being granted free rein to influence threads intended to deliver the most health-critical messages to newbies.

As the others have pointed out, almost everything is readable as a guest. We've been using the "sticky" option to try to collect important stuff up top. I hope that as we move forward in building this place, we'll have more static content (at least I think that's the right word for it--articles and stuff like that).

I REALLY want a two-way blocking option as well. (And I know the web geniuses are working on that.) When people bitch and yap at me, then follow me around wanting my help and free access to my words, I get grumpy. I would like very much for those kinds of people to disappear from my cyberlife entirely. I can't stop them from reading as a guest and that's fine. But I would sure like us to be completely invisible to one another in forum interactions.

 

[hilary1617]

So, I definitely get the benefit of two way blocking and think it would be awesome to have that here.

I was thinking of something a bit different than the current controls and a bit different than blocking. My thoughts are more focused on writing/posting vs. reading. I was really just wondering out loud if there would be any benefit in considering restricting newbie access to read-only or moderated posting in certain critical sub-forums or stickied threads (beyond Rants and Raves) until a certain number of posts elsewhere on the site demonstrated commitment/experience with the community. I think of stickied threads and certain topics as representing critical facts / general veteran consensus guidance for pre-ops.

Sometimes a newbie can post questions or dispute concepts in those threads which may cause confusion for another newbie pre-op. I'm envisioning a theoretical case of a newbie responding to a stickied post listing basic DS vitamin requirements by saying "that's nonsense - I heard from [some random person / nutritionist] that all that is needed is a daily gummy multivitamin". Another newbie could read that response and become confused as to what vitamins are needed. Then, there are matters of the type of distress recently generated when a newbie's first post was a glowing Surgeon Review.

Again, I'm not saying there shouldn't be challenge. Just wondering if there were some progressive write access granted over time once experience/commitment with the community is demonstrated, if potential sources of confusion and conflict could be reduced.

There are a spectrum of theoretical options which could run the gamut from requiring a post in "Introduce Yourself" before posting elsewhere to being on moderation for the first 5 posts to requiring 50 posts prior to write access for certain sub-forums or stickied threads.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

I was thinking of something a bit different than the current controls - really just wondering out loud if there would be any benefit in considering restricting newbie access to read-only or moderated posting in certain critical sub-forums or stickied threads (beyond Rants and Raves) until a certain number of posts elsewhere on the site demonstrated commitment/experience with the community. .

Ahhhh NOW I get it. I've been on other forums where you are on moderation for your first couple of posts, or for your first x hours/days, which I presume is mainly about spam control.

 

[Larra]

On a semi-related note, well really not directly related but something I've been thinking about, how would people feel about something on the registration page informing new members about the search function for frequently asked questions, or even a static thing that could be connected to the registration page called frequently asked questions so that new folks wouldn't sign up and immediately ask some question that's already been addressed a couple thousand times?
Personally, I'm one of those people who reads and lurks for quite awhile before posting, but some people just dive right in. I have no problem with that, we each have our own style, but I can also understand how annoying this can be to others. In a way, I think it's a good thing that some are so eager to post. If everyone were like me, no message board would ever get off the ground, so we need different approaches. But again, when it's that same old question and the info is already readily available, some people (I won't mention any names) find this annoying.

As far as blocking goes, I have never blocked anyone here. I just ignore people I prefer not to interact with. I did, long ago, block 2 people on OH. One was someone who was unspeakably rude to EN. Now, I know she can handle this just fine, but this person was so awful that I decided I didn't want him(her?) in my life. The other was a newbie pre-op who was probably nice enough but was obviously a train wreck in the making, and not willing or able to listen to advice from anyone. I couldn't help her, and decided I didn't want to watch that particular train wreck as it progressed, so I blocked her. However, I don't have a stalker (that I know of) and no one is reporting me to mods and trying to get me kicked out of anywhere (that I know of) so my perspective is different and I can completely understand Diana's desire for two way blocking.

 

[DianaCox]

Still wanting to know, more than ever, when we are getting two-way blocking of people we do NOT want to interact with ever again.

 

[southernlady]

On a semi-related note, well really not directly related but something I've been thinking about, how would people feel about something on the registration page informing new members about the search function for frequently asked questions, or even a static thing that could be connected to the registration page called frequently asked questions so that new folks wouldn't sign up and immediately ask some question that's already been addressed a couple thousand times?

We have a pages function that could be used but we have also stickied a LOT of threads here. The problem is many just do not want to read first...they ask anyway. How many do you know who will put stuff together before reading the how to do it manual? Same idea.

Still wanting to know, more than ever, when we are getting two-way blocking of people we do NOT want to interact with ever again.

Right now the only way to block is still the ignore function. If both parties put each other on ignore, then a block is in action but both people have to do it. I CAN see in the deep recesses of the server who has blocked whom but have no way to add anyone to that list at that level.

 

[DianaCox]

https://xenforo.com/community/threads/upgrade-the-ignore-function-to-block.59636/

"On our forums we have a Forced Block request, which means anyone can block anyone by sending an official request to admin. Both parties are then prohibited to contact or refer to each other via the site in any way shape or form - doing so results in a ban. Why? Because we have to respect our member's rights to engage with whoever they do, or don't. If you have any experience of people with mental illness you will know that sometimes things like bullying can be very subjective - what may not phase you or I might crush someone who is already feeling very low."
​

If this poster is referring to a Xenforo feature by which the admin can put in the two way block, I would like to make such a request.

And note that this feature would be PARTICULARLY useful for posts that are in forums which require the person to be logged in to read, as they could NOT be read by the blocked person, ever (in contrast to public forums which can be read by the blocked person if they are logged out).

 

[southernlady]

https://xenforo.com/community/threads/upgrade-the-ignore-function-to-block.59636/

"On our forums we have a Forced Block request, which means anyone can block anyone by sending an official request to admin. Both parties are then prohibited to contact or refer to each other via the site in any way shape or form - doing so results in a ban. Why? Because we have to respect our member's rights to engage with whoever they do, or don't. If you have any experience of people with mental illness you will know that sometimes things like bullying can be very subjective - what may not phase you or I might crush someone who is already feeling very low."
​

If this poster is referring to a Xenforo feature by which the admin can put in the two way block, I would like to make such a request.

And note that this feature would be PARTICULARLY useful for posts that are in forums which require the person to be logged in to read, as they could NOT be read by the blocked person, ever (in contrast to public forums which can be read by the blocked person if they are logged out).

Actually I went to his profile...he is referring to a vBulletin 3.1 feature (and 3.1 is so seriously out of date since it was last upgraded about 8 years ago (a LIFETIME in forum software)

I CAN verify if two people have each other on ignore but I can not do it for someone at their request...I TRIED.