Acting Funny...

[Svetlana Leigh]

I'm usually not the type to care about what most people think of me. I was sensitive as a child and cried easily in elementary school, but when I got to middle school I realized that I was taller, and bigger than most other kids my age. At that point, I actually became a bully until I hit high school and learned to control my emotions and feelings. It was only then that I became a more pleasant student, became popular, and was actually voted best personality and most likely to succeed. I guess that old saying "Hurt people hurt people" holds true because that's why I became the bully that I was at that time. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments of bitchiness but someone has to REALLY press my buttons to make me go to that level.

Before my surgery a coworker and I had been friends mainly at work for 15 years. She's older than me and I looked up to her and always sought her advice. You could always find us either in her office or my office laughing hysterically, or simply chatting about work issues in general. Since my surgery she has been very short, snippy, and kind of hateful with me. At first I thought she was going through menopause so I dismissed it because I remembered how my mom struggled with it. She tries to avoid me when we're in the halls or eating lunch, and she won't make eye contact with me. Needless to say my feelings are hurt and now those feelings of being a bitch are starting to surface. I've done nothing to her. I have not had a full conversation with her since my surgery, nor have I discussed my surgery with her or anyone for that matter other than you all in this group or on FB where I don't use my name or my picture. I'm not going to be mean to her or approach her about it because I've done absolutely nothing wrong and I feel that would make things even more awkward. Besides, she would never admit to acting differently towards me anyway. I guess today I just wanted to be heard...

 

[trace]

I know it sounds like a cliche, but she is probably feeling jealous and insecure. It has nothing to do with you, as it sounds like you know.

I do think it might be helpful to approach her, though. Otherwise, if there was a misunderstanding, won't the awkward feelings just fester?

Could you go to her and say, "Maybe I'm extra sensitive, I'm guilty of that sometimes, but I feel like I haven't seen as much of you lately. I've missed spending time with you, and I just want to make sure that you are okay and that our friendship is okay." Would that work?

 

[Svetlana Leigh]

I know it sounds like a cliche, but she is probably feeling jealous and insecure. It has nothing to do with you, as it sounds like you know.

I do think it might be helpful to approach her, though. Otherwise, if there was a misunderstanding, won't the awkward feelings just fester?

Could you go to her and say, "Maybe I'm extra sensitive, I'm guilty of that sometimes, but I feel like I haven't seen as much of you lately. I've missed spending time with you, and I just want to make sure that you are okay and that our friendship is okay." Would that work?

Yes, that could work. I find myself going back and forth between being angry and being hurt. I think I just need some time to think about how I want to proceed.

 

[Munchkin]

Friends are not easy to get. I would approach her and find out for sure!

 

[duh_Mom]

@Svetlana Leigh were you guys eating buddies too? Maybe she has those feeling of being jealous or abandoned. If you haven't talked to anyone about your surgery and you are dropping the weight maybe she thinks you are sick and she does not know what to say to you. There could be any number of reasons for her actions. If she is worth saving as a friend, go to her. She really might be relieved to have that door opened.

 

[Svetlana Leigh]

@Svetlana Leigh were you guys eating buddies too? Maybe she has those feeling of being jealous or abandoned. If you haven't talked to anyone about your surgery and you are dropping the weight maybe she thinks you are sick and she does not know what to say to you. There could be any number of reasons for her actions. If she is worth saving as a friend, go to her. She really might be relieved to have that door opened.

I've never thought about it like that. I'm going to talk to her about it. I'm just not sure when. She really is a good person and a good friend that I don't want to lose.