Fear and uncertainty of life...damn!

[kirmy]

Got a cancery family. On my Mum's side ovaries and titties like to eat the women folk alive. Now being 43 and proactive I got a referral to a doctor to discuss my risk.mhe wanted to look at my tits. He found a lump. I was sent downstairs to radiology who confirmed the lump on mammogram then took a biopsy under an ultrasound. I now wait to find out if I've got cancer.

Meanwhile I contacted my sister to find out more about her cancer and what she knows of our family history. She seemed....put out that I had a lump. She noted that it wouldn't be cancer because she gets lumps all of the time! I asked about the cancery lump and she said it was tiny. They removed it with biopsy.

Meanwhile I'm feeling totally punch drunk. I mean there wasn't going to actually be anything wrong. It was a check up to confirm I'm ok. So now I have to worry about my fucking tit. What a twat Ms Right is. I am irritated at my sisters reaction. I guess she has been the infirmed one that she has no patience for others concern.

Anyway. I know it will be fuck all but shiiiiiiiiiiit!

Just...gah!

I can't even!

 

[duh_Mom]

well shit @kirmy - hoping beyond hope that it is just one of those lumps. Fascinating that you just thought you would go in to get checked. Will be sending you good vibrations!
I'm sorry you did not get what you needed from your sister. shit, family can be such a challenge. Keep us posted lady. Hugs to you

 

[southernlady]

Family can be such douchbags!

Glad you are getting it checked. And just because "it's just a lump" doesn't mean it doesn't need checking as you know.

My Mother had benign fibroid cysts in her breasts...went thru, I know, 5 different surgeries over her lifetime getting them removed and checked. Her sister, however, did have breast cancer. So just because one has cancer does not automatically mean anything. BUT I remember how frightened my Mother was when she found hers and had to have then removed, the terror of waiting. When she had her last one removed in her late 60's, she made the comment that if she ever found one more, she was just gonna have the damned things cut off completely. She actually died of kidney failure after a severe bout of pneumonia. But while they had her in the hospital, they found a very small area of lung cancer. It was too small to be her cause of death but if she had not passed from kidney failure, she wasn't planning on having treatment for the lung cancer.

Because of my Mother's history of fibroid cysts and my aunt's breast cancer, I am very paranoid and keep mine checked.

You'll be fine...this is just a bump in the road. Keep us posted.

 

[kirmy]

Got a cancery family. On my Mum's side ovaries and titties like to eat the women folk alive. Now being 43 and proactive I got a referral to a doctor to discuss my risk.mhe wanted to look at my tits. He found a lump. I was sent downstairs to radiology who confirmed the lump on mammogram then took a biopsy under an ultrasound. I now wait to find out if I've got cancer.

Meanwhile I contacted my sister to find out more about her cancer and what she knows of our family history. She seemed....put out that I had a lump. She noted that it wouldn't be cancer because she gets lumps all of the time! I asked about the cancery lump and she said it was tiny. They removed it with biopsy.

Meanwhile I'm feeling totally punch drunk. I mean there wasn't going to actually be anything wrong. It was a check up to confirm I'm ok. So now I have to worry about my fucking tit. What a twat Ms Right is. I am irritated at my sisters reaction. I guess she has been the infirmed one that she has no patience for others concern.

Anyway. I know it will be fuck all but shiiiiiiiiiiit!

Just...gah!

I can't even!

well shit @kirmy - hoping beyond hope that it is just one of those lumps. Fascinating that you just thought you would go in to get checked. Will be sending you good vibrations!
I'm sorry you did not get what you needed from your sister. shit, family can be such a challenge. Keep us posted lady. Hugs to you

Yeh it was all so creepy. The Hospital booking office made an appointment but didn't inform me so when I got back onshore I had these missed phone messages on my mobile. I called the Dr who was so disarming and sweet. All I can say is talking to him was like having a hug from a beloved uncle. I just felt bonded to him. So we worked out what had happened and he asked me to come in as the family history is nothing short of remarkable. It is very positive.

I honestly never in a million years thought I had a breast lump. I truly had no idea as I never felt anything but he just found it within a second. It all happened so fast.

So today when my sister called me in reply to my email I was really taken aback by how cavalier and dismissive she was. She didn't beleive that because my aunties all dies of ovarian or breast cancer that I was at risk. The fact that my cousins have also had it seemed to confirm to her that you got it from the maternal influence and that we were two degrees separated. I noted she had breast cancer but she seems to think that her tiny slow growing mass was a totally different thing. She made it seem as if I was totally being dramatic. She couldn't understand that I would consider a hysterectomy and mastectomy if I was carrying the gene. She thought it was stupid!

So I am sitting here feeling really strange. I mean what if I've essentially got a internal tit zit and I'm all scared and weird about it. The other part thinks...fuck what if I've got 6-12 months of health shit to wade through in my immediate future.

My sister though....she threw me completely.

 

[kirmy]

Family can be such douchbags!

Glad you are getting it checked. And just because "it's just a lump" doesn't mean it doesn't need checking as you know.

My Mother had benign fibroid cysts in her breasts...went thru, I know, 5 different surgeries over her lifetime getting them removed and checked. Her sister, however, did have breast cancer. So just because one has cancer does not automatically mean anything. BUT I remember how frightened my Mother was when she found hers and had to have then removed, the terror of waiting. When she had her last one removed in her late 60's, she made the comment that if she ever found one more, she was just gonna have the damned things cut off completely. She actually died of kidney failure after a severe bout of pneumonia. But while they had her in the hospital, they found a very small area of lung cancer. It was too small to be her cause of death but if she had not passed from kidney failure, she wasn't planning on having treatment for the lung cancer.

Because of my Mother's history of fibroid cysts and my aunt's breast cancer, I am very paranoid and keep mine checked.

You'll be fine...this is just a bump in the road. Keep us posted.

Yeh tell it sister! My sister has lived her life around her ailments. It consumes her. She talks about little else, and if I had the chronic disease she had I guess I would fixate too. It was so all consuming for her that when she visited we had to have a word with her about it. From the moment she got up until she went to bed it was a series of stories about how ill she is was,might be etc. she was utterly unable to exist in the magical minute. We'd be driving through some of the worlds most amazing scenery to ancient Viking sites or mountains that movies are made around and she would be going on and on about her clotting factors and how sick she was last June. I love her but she was pretty fucking healthy when she toured Scotland for 8 weeks. Kinda made me think she was taking a back ground issue and living utterly though it.

Anyhow. I feel as if she felt upstaged and it made her very exasperated and the only way to deal with it was belittle my experience against hers. It was surreal. So yeh she is probably right. It is not likely to be cancer and more likely to be a big fibroid. I get it. I didn't contact her in hysterics. It was a purely factual call asking for background information. Her reaction is pissing me off.

 

[DianaCox]

"she felt upstaged" - yeah, that is probably it. Or - a clumsy attempt to allay your fears (if you want to be overly generous).

With that level of family hx, I would ask about getting a BRCAI and II test. Although very few breast cancers are caused by this mutation, it is a VERY strong factor and a very different story.

 

[kirmy]

I'm having a referral for genetic testing. As I said I'm on the Consultants radar because this level of family disease is very unusual. I guess it has everything to do with living on a small island and close genetics as a result (Tasmania). I have to answer a very comprehensive questionnaire before qualifying for that level of scrutiny. The gene folk will pull all the death certs going back several generations to see if it supports the story I'm telling. At any rate it is the first step in an already exhausting journey. I'm scared!

 

[southernlady]

At any rate it is the first step in an already exhausting journey. I'm scared!

I can imagine that you are scared. I am scared for you but also confident that you will do what needs to be done.

 

[newanatomy]

I am sending good vibes while you go through with waiting and testing.

 

[Munchkin]

I would be scared too. Just try to stay positive. Be glad you chose to be proactive and manage your risk factors. And you can be damn glad you are skinny enough that he found the lump. It might have been missed completely if you were still heavy!

 

[kirmy]

Well yeh small mercies I guess. Thank you.

 

[hilary1617]

I'm sorry your sister isn't giving you the support that you deserve and I'm wishing for the best possible outcome. Hang in there - the waiting is brutal, I'm sure.

 

[DianaCox]

So when do you get the results?

 

[Jen-2]

I'm sorry you're going through this Kirmy. This shit is scary. I just had my first mammogram and got called back in to get more images because they found calcifications. I'm now scheduled for a biopsy in January to see if they are benign or pre-cancerous/cancer. You try not to worry until you have to but the waiting and not knowing is awful. Sometimes you just need someone to ask if you're okay and be there for you - especially family. It sucks that your sister's response was insensitive and selfish.

Please remember we are all thinking about you and hoping you get good news. Hang in there and try to stay positive. All my best wishes to you, Kirmy. Good luck!

 

[bearmom]

Well shit, maybe your sister knows all, and is right, but it doesn't mean you'll worry less in the meantime. I had some gene testing and felt really overwhelmed thinking about what I may do if i carried certain genes, but it instead felt empowering. How long until you hear back about the biopsy?