Weirdly sad about a death of someone I didn't know

[DianaCox]

2-3 years ago, I started seeing some really pretty paintings on greeting cards on a couple of my relatives' pages, which were painted by one of their relatives. I became FB friends with the artist (probably because at first I thought we were blood relatives - we were not - she is the sister of my uncle's (my father's brother) wife - I've probably met her a couple of times over my life, though I don't remember it, probably at my uncle's house in NY - my aunt and the artist's mother lived upstairs from my aunt and uncle in their duplex for many years), and I got the joy of seeing her art work most days (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Carol-Pessin-Art-Cards/101535619925848) since then. In addition, I would enjoy her husband Jere's posts on her posts - I don't think I ever met him, but his posts on her threads were SO sweet and loving - I enjoyed looking in on these PDAs, as they cheered me up.

Early yesterday morning, he posted this:

Carol Pessin Art Cards is here on this rainy day !!!!!! It's not a bad thing when you are grateful for the wonderful things you have in life !!!!!! Make every day count !!!!!!
— at Whole Foods Tribecca.​

A few minutes later, he dropped dead of a heart attack.

I don't know why I feel so affected by this - Carol is making brave, distraught, loving posts, and her very sizable circle of friends and family are enveloping her with love. I feel like a bit of an emotional stalker reading these posts, and wondering why I feel so affected by it. I'm going to miss seeing these little gems of his posts, and I am crushed for Carol - though I wouldn't recognize her if I passed her on the street.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I think cyber people are still people - if we never felt bad about stuff that happened to them we'd be pretty cold hearted.

I like her painting style.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

The cards are delightful. And no comment on your grief except...I'm still upset about Natalie Wood's death. I don't know why.

 

[brooklyngirl]

I think cyber people are still people - if we never felt bad about stuff that happened to them we'd be pretty cold hearted.

I like her painting style.

Yes ^^^^ this.
There are people we are attracted to in life, not necessarily in a sexual way- it can be emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, artistically, whatever- and not seeing this person in your everyday life doesn't diminish that. I think it's only natural to be saddened by the passing of someone you enjoyed, in whatever capacity you knew them.

 

[DianaCox]

It feels weird though - like when I cry at Hallmark commercials (not looking for the pun/association with her card business - it's just one of those things we say in the family that is true, because despite my edgy persona in real life as well as the internet, I cry very easily). Like I'm being silly and "fakely" emotional.

And I keep looking at Charles, who sometimes is SO loving and mushy, and I sometimes feel inadequate to respond quite the same way (but other times - like now, while he's recuperating from surgery and not being a very pleasant or cooperative patient), and trying to figure out how to get what it LOOKS like (from FB posts - yes, I know, probably not a completely fair picture of their lives) they had. When I want to cram the antibiotic-covered Q-Tip I'm trying to use to medicate while I rebandage his wounds, while he gripes about and criticizes how I'm doing it, straight up his nose. He really SUX at being a patient - or frankly, any time he's not feeling well - and I'm sucking at being a patient('s) wife.

 

[JackieOnLine]

When I want to cram the antibiotic-covered Q-Tip I'm trying to use to medicate while I rebandage his wounds, while he gripes about and criticizes how I'm doing it, straight up his nose. He really SUX at being a patient - or frankly, any time he's not feeling well - and I'm sucking at being a patient('s) wife.

hire a home health nurse to come in and do it, even if you have to pay cash for it. seriously, it sounds like it would be worth it.

It feels weird though - like when I cry at Hallmark commercials (not looking for the pun/association with her card business - it's just one of those things we say in the family that is true, because despite my edgy persona in real life as well as the internet, I cry very easily). Like I'm being silly and "fakely" emotional.

it just feels weird/fake, it isn't really. you can even enjoy it if you want to, you aren't hurting anyone. you are just hyper self-aware, so what?

 

[Terri]

Even though you don't "know" them in person doesn't mean you don't know them. You have gotten to know them through their posts on facebook and to me when you view an artists work they are showing you their naked self. Seeing someone's artwork is like seeing their soul. I think this is why so many people are affected when celebrities die. They have shared with us some of the things they hold dearest to them by acting, singing, etc.

You have a heart and where obviously touched by them. Nothing fake about it.