Okay, now that I'm home and have internet access other than through my phone I can reply a little better. I changed my avatar, so don't let it confuse you.
I'm still trying to work through my feelings about the appointment. I had asked that they let me know if there would be any specific tests I'd need done or other doctors I needed to see in Melbourne prior to surgery so that I could make those appointments happen while we were down there. I didn't find out 1) that he was only willing to do a VSG on me at this time (I asked specifically if he could help me, and let them know I wanted the DS, and all they said was "yes" - they had my BMI and all my health details in front of them at the time) and that 2) they want me to see the head of surgery at the hospital where the surgery will be performed and meet with their nutritionist. All of this means ANOTHER 9-hour drive (and cost of over $1000 by the time all is said and done) just to do those two appointments. The nutritionist would be possibly willing to do a Skype session, but the other doctor has to be in person.
I honestly feel like both of those things could have been handled better by their office. While he is the only surgeon in Australia I'd trust to do a DS, there are a surgeon or two in Sydney that could handle a VSG on me at this weight since the VSG is so much easier and less complicated. We could have saved ourselves thousands of dollars we don't have (again, living off ONE income right now) when all is said and done by going with a surgeon in Sydney for the VSG and him for the DS later.
There's no way we can do the VSG, wait 18 months, have the DS, and then wait another 18 months after THAT to have kids, even if we wanted to. I will be 36 by the time I have the VSG - that's 37.5 years old at MINIMUM before the DS, and 39 before we can start even TRYING post-DS. I just feel like we're already in a race against time here given my age - I would feel awful if we waited that long to try and then couldn't have children due to my age.
So I think since he's unwilling to do the DS in one procedure, it's going to have to be VSG, then a few years' break (time for at least one kid... I hope), then the DS (and hopefully he'll consider resleeving me too?) I don't like that idea, either, but I really feel like I'm in a bad position here.
I also met with a friend in Melbourne - someone I've known for a couple of years online who lives in Melbourne. I went and had tea at her house, and we got to talking about our various health issues. She told me she'd had weight loss surgery, and (before she even knew I was considering WLS) was telling me the absolute horrific story about her surgeon and how absolutely bullying and cruel he was to her, how he wouldn't listen to her or other doctors when she said something was wrong, etc. I can't get into more specific details or he/his office would know who it was if they ran across this post. But... it was an absolutely horrible experience for her. I asked "Who was your surgeon?" while thinking "PLEASE don't be him. PLEASE don't be him. PLEASE don't be him." And... you can probably guess... it was. Same surgeon. My husband and I were stunned and there was this hugely awkward silence where we had to explain to her what had just happened.
Quite honestly, I'm pretty depressed about all this and I don't know what the right answer is anymore. I have a job interview Tuesday so I can't schedule the VSG until I know whether or not I got that job, as if I did, I obviously can't be out for surgery right away. It'd be a six-month contract job, so I'd probably just schedule it for after that's over. Sigh.
