Roo, I don't know if this will help you or not, but I self-referred to a wound care center at a major teaching hospital nearby when I got home. It was one of the smartest moves I made. The wound care nurses at the hospital had no problem calling up the home health nurses to bawl them out. They even sent a manufacturer rep out at one point to teach the nurse how to get something right.
Cleaning out the wound yourself is not a good idea. You really need someone experienced to keep an eye on you, because infections in the abdomen are common and can get ugly fast.
They need to be wearing gloves, wearing masks, and WASHING THEIR HANDS before touch you.
My husband kept an "entry" basket right beside the kitchen sink. After we let them in, we walked straight to it and started washing our own hands. At one point, I think my husband had a note on the door if he wasn't there, telling people what he expected (he wasn't an ass about it, but we had a few slackers who pissed him off). There was a box of gloves and face masks right next to the basket. We had the visiting nurses put them on and put a face mask on myself. The last thing you need right now is someone breathing germs on you or your wound. A cough or even trying to blow your nose is going to be hard on you. Why put yourself through any more misery if you can avoid it?
There was a trash can and a paper towel roll right next to it, with a sign reminding people to wash their hands. Let the sign do a little of the talking/reminding for you. Have your husband put together a checklist on a clipboard (and blame the overkill on himself or the doctor). Let the list play the part of the bad guy for you.
My husband also set up baskets right beside my reclining chair. One was filled with medical supplies: gauze, tape, pads, alcohol wipes, etc. There was another basket with Lysol wipes and spray. He also had a giant binder/folder, where all paperwork "lived". Every medication I was on, all doctors' order, all contact information for the entire team- everything was in there. If we had an ER visit, we could just grab it and go.
My food log, weight loss chart, and exercise planner were all there also. It shut people up to see my progress.
I am more grateful than I can express to the nurses who got me through the last couple of months, but it helped to build in some accountability for them. It's a sad fact that people just behave better when they know that someone is watching. And, like I said, let the lists and such be the "bad guy". It's very hard to advocate for yourself when you are seriously hurt. Yes, we still need to do it, but there is nothing wrong with making it a little easier on yourself by bringing in others.
Lastly, we resorted to bribery on occasion. We brought treats to the nurses at the hospital and we kept treats at the house. We gave little Starbucks
gift cards out and things like that. They can't accept huge gifts, but no one ever turned down a chance to grab a cup of coffee on us on their way to the the next patient.
Does this help at all? If not, please just ignore me. You have my best wishes for recovery. If you need me, I'm here to listen.
