support for Roo

[JackieOnLine]

I'm still feeling pretty sorry for myself if I'm honest. I cry out of frustration at least once a day.

:085:

I feel like we should have noticed you are't posting as much and are no where near your pre-op level of enthusiasm. of course that's expected and normal! just wanted to say, we are thinking about you!!!

I love what your wrote in your siggy, about not hiking by looking at the peak - you just look at whatever is in front of you.

 

[southernlady]

@DuodenalSwitchaRoo we have your back...just keep plugging along and you WILL get there.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Thanks guys

I don't feel like myself at all. My hand is still driving me nutso. I have a GP appointment on April 16th to be referred to a neurologist. It's a useless limb that always hurts. I also have what appear to be keloids trying to take over my neck where 3 or 4 central lines were put in place and removed. I need to dye my hair as I've gone super grey but with dressings and my inability to stand more than 5 minutes without my back screaming, it's not an option.

SEE!!! So much effing self pity!!! I can't see past the misery right now. I'm wondering if I should go back on my antidepressants until I get over this hurdle. No suicidal thoughts or anything daft, just a seriously down outlook on life. The nurses keep saying how good my wound looks but then they say things like "autumn" or "October" and it just makes me want to cry then and there. (as I'm doing now) I can say hand on heart I don't regret my op as I was at a stalemate, but at the same time I really really hate where I am at physically and emotionally.

 

[Bagaof4]

Standing with you and sending strength, Roo. I am so sorry it is taking time to get back to a more positive outlook. You WILL get there and this will all be a vague memory

 

[Parousia]

'Roo, I'm not a doctor, but as someone who does struggle with depression from time to time, I have a pretty good idea of how it can affect you. I really think you should go back on your anti-depressants. You're going through so much at the moment, why make it harder than it needs to be? Either way, we are here for you. :058:

 

[Bagaof4]

I second Parousia's suggestion. I had none of your complications, but became depressed early out. Got back on my anti-depressant and it DID help. Hormones are so out of whack on top of everything else right now.

 

[brooklyngirl]

I'm agreeing with the above ladies, I would (and did) go back on the antidepressants. I was so miserable in the beginning, feeling so worn out yet not being able to sleep, plus so many tummy troubles and the wacked out hormones, I was a mess. And I didn't have the complications you're dealing with.

Now that I think about it, has anyone heard from @ProteinSnob ? She had similar struggles and maybe she can give some insight about the light at the end of the tunnel?

 

[Terri]

Roo I too think you should look into getting back on the antidepressants. Also if you can sit by a window and get some sunshine on your face it could help. Even though you can't get out and about a bit of sun always makes me fell better. Would your boyfriend consider donning gloves and dying your hair for you?

You have overcome so many complications that I believe you are the strongest person I have ever known. Seriously, I am pre-op and you are such and inspiration to me.

 

[DuodenalSwitchaRoo]

Lol sunshine??? England????? Lol

My hubz usually dyes my hair...we actually share a bottle lol it's the standing long enough to rinse it all out that's the issue.

So yeah. I shall get out my SAD light, and go back on happy pills as crying the day away is no way to be. Though I do feel loved and welcome here, thank you.

 

[huneypie]

Aw, we miss you. You're doing pretty well with the keyboard for someone with only one hand.

BTW I was paralysed down one side for a while - different cause, as mine was due to a head injury, but there was a while there where I couldn't even have my watch on my left wrist as my arm was too weak.

That was all many years ago and I sit here typing with both hands. Hopefully the neurologist will have some ideas or it may just be a question of time as it was with me.

Hang in there!!

 

[newanatomy]

I really hope you feel better soon and everything else everyone else already said! Take care, there is only one you.

 

[hilary1617]

Roo, Hang it there - I wish this were an easier mountain to climb for you. Definitely yes to the pills - even under the best of circumstances, recovery is difficult and involves crazy hormonal changes. No need to go through this without antidepressants. As to the hair dye, is it possible to use a bowl/bucket or kitchen, bidet bottle, sink hand sprayer to manage the rinsing from a chair or bed? Wishing you all the best!!!

 

[Elizabeth N.]

Roo, sweetie, get your hiney back into both psychiatric care and psychotherapy RIGHT NOW. Any tool that gets you through this time SAFELY is a viable option. Down the road you can adjust all that shit again as needed. It's about the support you need to keep your mind intact while your body heals.

 

[Larra]

Short answer - take the pills!

Longer answer - I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time of it. It WILL get better! You can't tell how a scar will turn out for a LONG time after surgery, and even if they turn out bad you may benefit from either steroid injections in the scar or even scar revision. Gray hair can be fixed when you're feeling a bit stronger. The hand, I don't know what to say, but hopefully the neurologist will have something positive for you. Bottom line, you've had a chance for lots of bad stuff but not enough time for the good stuff from your surgery. The good stuff will come and the bad stuff will fade. And in the meantime, we are here for you.

 

[Parousia]

Lol sunshine??? England????? Lol

My hubz usually dyes my hair...we actually share a bottle lol it's the standing long enough to rinse it all out that's the issue.

So yeah. I shall get out my SAD light, and go back on happy pills as crying the day away is no way to be. Though I do feel loved and welcome here, thank you.

Do you have a shower stool/chair, Roo? There's no way I could stand for long enough to have a shower, let alone dye my hair. When I colour my hair, I always rinse it in the shower. I haven't done it since my surgery, but I needed to sit in the shower pre-surgery too because of severe back pain. The colour rinses right off your skin, so you don't need to worry about that.

If you're still on sponge baths, you could go for a head wrap, or even a wig, as a temporary measure, just to make you feel better. I've seen some on the Internet that aren't terribly expensive.

You are loved and very welcome here, 'Roo! :058: