Sad...

[southernlady]

Cat, your friends/family wants what is best for you...and if delaying until you get this sorted out is what is best, DO IT.

 

[catecholamine]

Munchkin, she is severely anemic and has blood in her urine, and doesn't think she needs to point any of that out to her surgeon.....whose minions are planning to schedule iron infusions for after her surgery. But nobody knows WHY she's so anemic. Gee, no occult stool blood test. No further evaluation of blood in urine. Nada.

Really engenders confidence in her mental acuity AND in the competence of the medical practices she's using, including her surgeon's.

Ouch.
I sent an email to their office. They just said to follow up with my PCP about blood in my urine and that the tests didn't indicate I had any kind of infection. They said anemia was "common" in obese patients and reiterated they'd be giving me infusions after my surgery.
I just keep thinking it can't be THAT BAD if they're willing to go on with surgery.

 

[joanlaptods]

Easy for them to say they don't know what it's like to recover from this surgery and to battle anemia as a result of the surgery let alone going into it with an undiagnosed significant symptom of blood in the urine. Anemia is common period but that doesn't mean you go into a major surgery with expected blood loss with an undiagnosed or untreated anemia. I think these things need to be looked into before your surgery not after.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I just keep thinking it can't be THAT BAD if they're willing to go on with surgery.

I don't blame you - I wouldn't want to think they were anything less than careful and completely competent.

they don't have as much to lose as you do, however.

 

[newanatomy]

I would like to think that a surgeon would error on the side of caution since they have their career, their reputations and their money on the line, if you or your family were to sue. I just wouldn't risk it. My health is too important.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

I think they're being sloppy and incautious, and if I were in your shoes, knowing what little I know about this stuff, I'd be running screaming back to my doc and INSISTING that this shit got FIXED before having even ingrown toenail surgery.

They have their career etc. on the line. You have your LIFE on the line. This is ELECTIVE surgery. Nothing bad will happen if you postpone and get into better health.

 

[Cello]

I'm not a medical person and don't have any experience with blood in my or anybody else's urine, so I'm not going to go alarmist on you over that (it may really be reason for alarm -- but I understand wanting to believe it couldn't be that big a deal if they're willing to go forward).

I've had surgery while anemic and the recovery was harder than expected, significantly harder. My fiancee at the time took fmla to be with me and wound up moving me to his parents house when he had to go back to work because I was so weak.

So let's say anemia is one issue.
Let's say blood in your urine -- particularly because you don't know the cause is a second issue.
Being without the emotional and physical support of your BF in case recovery is harder than imagined is a third issue.
The things you've said about how much you can rely on your mother or aunt longer term is a fourth issue.
Being without substantive support from local friends is a fifth issue.

Where alarm bells go off for me is in the sum total of all of it. Don't you see the risk you're taking?

I know you want to be on the other side of this. I know you're smart. Maybe you don't have to postpone. Change some of those variables before you go into this surgery. Tip the scales in your favor. You're worth that.

ETA: If you can't or feel you can't change a bunch of those variables before the scheduled surgery date, change the date. That's your final variable. Be the smart young woman you are... not the girl who says, "I'm irresponsible."

 

[Charris]

Cat,
I'm so sorry you will be alone. I know it is probably so hard being in you position. Needing support yourself but also wanting to give support. I hope your mil is not too advanced. Im sure you will be so happy when you can all be supporting each other from the same place. HUGS ♡♥♡

 

[Taterweight]

I so wish you well Cat! Aside from the anemia issue, since you've received a lot of advice on that front, I would urge you to call the surgeon's office and ask to reschedule a month from now.

Surely you are concerned for your future mother-in-law? I'm sure that your bf needs your support too. Maybe it would help him for you to postpone so he can help his mother with her sudden diagnosis and not have to worry about how you're doing so far away. Use him as the main excuse for your mother and aunt, if you need to, and give yourself that time to get the infusion/pills, steak diet - whatever you need to get your iron issues in a better place.

 

[DianaCox]

You are smart. You know some science, I presume, since you can probably pronounce as well as spell Catecholamine, and know what it means. For those who don't know, catecholamines are chemical compounds that are neurotransmitters and/or neuromodulators, involved in brain function, e.g., dopamine, epinephrine and norepinephrine.

USE YOUR GODDAMNED CATECHOLAMINES!! THINK!! You may have a bladder infection - you don't go into surgery with a bladder infection. You have anemia - why? Do you have an ulcer? Why in the WORLD would you go into surgery ALREADY low on the molecule that carries oxygen to your BRAIN, to heal your WOUNDS? This makes no sense to me - NONE.

This is tough love here, my dear, because you're SCARING us.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Cat, I know you don't want to hear any of this, just want to offer a little personal experience with set-backs. I had several, and each time was ridiculously disappointed. Looking back, however, I THANK GOD for every one. Each time there was a set-back, it ultimately prevented some possibly terrible outcomes (including having RNY with a shitty surgeon at a shitty hospital!) it may be hard to see it now, but when you're able to look back, I believe you'll know how lucky you were to know now instead of too late. Besides, it may only be a few weeks difference, which in the grand scheme of life, is nothing.

 

[kirmy]

Hi Cat.

I WAS suicidal before surgery so I couldn't give a fart if I made it. Don't get me wrong I utterly freaked over the thought of hurting my dearest man but as for me pffffttt...nahhhh not so much. My surgery lasted 11.5hrs. i almost died due to bleeding associated with a lesser omentum tear/ spleanic injury. It sucked. It took 9 painful, long and blurry days to recover enough to come home. I had lost my ability to read and write and to make decisions other than...vomit, shit complain rinse and repeat.

Ask to speak to your specialist BEFORE surgery and put your concerns out there. You WILL lose blood interoperatively. If your oxygen carrying capacity is limited now due to anemia you'll be fooked if you do a Kirmy and bleed like a stuck piggie.

 

[Tabitha]

Munchkin, she is severely anemic and has blood in her urine, and doesn't think she needs to point any of that out to her surgeon.....whose minions are planning to schedule iron infusions for after her surgery. But nobody knows WHY she's so anemic. Gee, no occult stool blood test. No further evaluation of blood in urine. Nada.

Really engenders confidence in her mental acuity AND in the competence of the medical practices she's using, including her surgeon's.

Hmm, I agree with the others. Post pone the surgery...

 

[Spiky Bugger]

What EN said about the universe talking to you...AND...it sounds to me, since your options for post-op care are SO limited by finances, that maybe there isn't enough of a financial cushion for you to proceed right now.

Some of our supplements can cost a bit...I just had REPEATED bouts of dealing with a disease that requires VERY EXPENSIVE med copays, and I have really good insurance.

A woman from another board who, admittedly had other issues, lived close to the edge financially and skipped some testing and supplements when things got rough financially. Then she did dumb shit with booze and stuff...but SOME decisions like that are fueled by vitamin B deficiencies...and she died last year.

You COULD HAVE some relatively minor thing happen but that requires you have post-op nursing care and you sound like you would have to just wait until you were sick enough to be readmitted via the ER.

What are chances that a month from now would just be a whole lot better timing?

 

[catecholamine]

Well, it looks like the bf thing won't improve, we broke up yesterday. It's fine, he was being an ass, and we would fight about money a lot because he was too lazy to get a full time job and I was paying all the bills and crap. So forget him, I'm done with that.
My dad is going to come stay a few days with me after surgery.