Spiky Bugger
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 6,309
I think a main advantage of being an only child is that they get to define who their parents really were! Lol
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So, one of my grandfathers was a great guy, except for the drinking and womanizing and other bad habits. On the 43rd anniversary of one of his major screw-ups--which really embarassed him, but to which error he later confessed.
[Okay, okay...so if you're a retired cop, and a bit of a racist at that, you probably shouldn't get tanked up on the first day of the Watts Riots, get f'ing ARRESTED by Highway Trolls, AND....AND... get thrown into Men's Central Jail and, because you have a badge, have to SHARE a cell, in "high power" (meaning your roomie has probably killed a few people and doesn't belong in general population, and btw, he's black.)
Afterwards, in the throes of sobriety (and perhaps having "the whips and jangles" from a tad too much booze) he'd talk about it, shaking his head, and looking sorrowful. He KNEW he screwed up and he pretty much mended his ways. (Not TOTALLY, but he calmed own a bit.)]
So, 43 years later, in an email to a cousin, I mentioned the incident. In a "poor guy" kind of way. I caught all kinds of hell about why I'd "choose" to remember that. (The riot was mentioned on the news?) I replied that I loved him, probably even more, because he WAS imperfect. And that after I die, it's okay if MiniSue tells stories about my screw-ups. I'd be happier if she loved me warts and all, instead of trying to create a memory of someone who never existed.
He no longer speaks to me. That's the backstory.
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Today, another cousin...other side of the family...sent me a copy of a letter, written in 1934. It is, imho, historically important, in that it was requesting permission from my grandfather for his wife to be sterilized to "cure" her "insanity!" (She was under 40 at the time, had given birth ten times in the preceding 20 years, the last time three months before the date of this letter. I'll take Postpartum Depression for $800, Alex.) But, the hospital assureed him, her sexual function would be okay and it would be done at no cost to him. (Grandma spoke Italian; her English was borderline. I'll take Eugenics for $1000, Alex.)
I asked MiniSue to NOT share it where other family members might see it and attack her for picking on the poor dead lady.
What do you think? Will relatives attack her for saying her great grandmother was "insane?" Do we care? (BTW, this kind of thing was not outlawed until 1979. Just sayin'.)
~~~~~
Original comment revisited: I don't know what happens when siblings "remember" totally different parents. But an only child need not negotiate. An only child gets to say whatever s/he wants and there cannot be valid challenges.
Drunk...insane...whatever.
~~~~
So, one of my grandfathers was a great guy, except for the drinking and womanizing and other bad habits. On the 43rd anniversary of one of his major screw-ups--which really embarassed him, but to which error he later confessed.
[Okay, okay...so if you're a retired cop, and a bit of a racist at that, you probably shouldn't get tanked up on the first day of the Watts Riots, get f'ing ARRESTED by Highway Trolls, AND....AND... get thrown into Men's Central Jail and, because you have a badge, have to SHARE a cell, in "high power" (meaning your roomie has probably killed a few people and doesn't belong in general population, and btw, he's black.)
Afterwards, in the throes of sobriety (and perhaps having "the whips and jangles" from a tad too much booze) he'd talk about it, shaking his head, and looking sorrowful. He KNEW he screwed up and he pretty much mended his ways. (Not TOTALLY, but he calmed own a bit.)]
So, 43 years later, in an email to a cousin, I mentioned the incident. In a "poor guy" kind of way. I caught all kinds of hell about why I'd "choose" to remember that. (The riot was mentioned on the news?) I replied that I loved him, probably even more, because he WAS imperfect. And that after I die, it's okay if MiniSue tells stories about my screw-ups. I'd be happier if she loved me warts and all, instead of trying to create a memory of someone who never existed.
He no longer speaks to me. That's the backstory.
~~~~
Today, another cousin...other side of the family...sent me a copy of a letter, written in 1934. It is, imho, historically important, in that it was requesting permission from my grandfather for his wife to be sterilized to "cure" her "insanity!" (She was under 40 at the time, had given birth ten times in the preceding 20 years, the last time three months before the date of this letter. I'll take Postpartum Depression for $800, Alex.) But, the hospital assureed him, her sexual function would be okay and it would be done at no cost to him. (Grandma spoke Italian; her English was borderline. I'll take Eugenics for $1000, Alex.)
I asked MiniSue to NOT share it where other family members might see it and attack her for picking on the poor dead lady.
What do you think? Will relatives attack her for saying her great grandmother was "insane?" Do we care? (BTW, this kind of thing was not outlawed until 1979. Just sayin'.)
~~~~~
Original comment revisited: I don't know what happens when siblings "remember" totally different parents. But an only child need not negotiate. An only child gets to say whatever s/he wants and there cannot be valid challenges.
Drunk...insane...whatever.
My sister and I have totally different perspectives on almost all matters. It keeps things interesting.
