Morbid thoughts about Robin Williams

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Chances are the manic depression was maintained with meds. I have noticed the difference in his early work, and later, more than just a maturity factor. It was like going from a Lamborghini to a Prius. The Parkinson's and serious financial damage were the proverbial straw...

(DC, it just broke on Twitter when I wrote that...)
 
So - why disclose the Parkinson's? Does this make Robin and/or the family look less bad? I don't understand this either. And Michael J. Fox et al. clearly do not appreciate the suggestion that having PD makes suicide more understandable.
 
My heart was broken when I heard the news and then I was nearly hysterical when I found out it was suicide.
I knew Robin back in the 70s, before tv, when he first moved to LA to do stand up. I hung out at a comedy club and was friends with many who worked there, including the comedians.
I am just saying that because it was personal to me. I can say without a doubt he was a kind and gentle person who would never have willingly hurt another human. Even as he became more and more famous he didn't change at all. Just a wonderful, sweet, giving guy.
I also wondered about the mechanics of the action. Talk about morbid, I wished they had shown some kind of graphic. How does one put a belt around their neck and a door and sit down and wait to die?
All I could think of was that Mick Jagger's girlfriend managed to kill herself with a scarf tied to a doorknob. I just don't get it. If I were going to do something like that it would have to be something that had no turning back. I have heard that many survivors of suicide attempts by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge reported that after they jumped they regretted it immediately and wished they hadn't.
 
"I have heard that many survivors of suicide attempts by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge reported that after they jumped they regretted it immediately and wished they hadn't."

http://nypost.com/2013/06/30/he-jumped-off-the-golden-gate-bridge-and-lived/
According to this article from last year, there are have not been "many" survivors at all: "an exhibit of 1400 pairs of shoes, which represent the known suicides that have jumped from the bridge. Hines is one of six people to survive a suicide attempt from the bridge."

But an interesting point - RW lived 15 min from the GG Bridge - why not do it that way? The failed attempts to slash his wrist(s) with a pocket knife was bizarre and would have left a terrible bloody mess (and is apparently really hard to do); and I would think asphyxiation would be terribly painful and would have the potential of leaving him alive but brain damaged.

I still am very unsure about how to process this - I think there is a lot we will never know, and I don't have a right to know, but I WANT to know.
 
This is a bit weird. I am on a mailing list from a guy named Harrison Barnes - he is a legal recruiter/consultant and fancies himself a blogger/guru - his emails contain inspirational blog essays aimed at lawyers, which I find to be a mix of pop-psych/palp, with some good kernels here and there.

He posted this blog today. The first part is just ******* bizarre, but the rest is somewhat interesting - I don't know if I agree with his POV, but I suspect that at least at some level, at some point in his life, some of this was true about RW.

Why Robin Williams Killed Himself: The Importance of Being Yourself

Robin Williams grew up a few miles from where my father grew up, and he is about 10 years younger than my father. Both my grandparents and Williams’ parents were prominent, well-known members of the same community.

Strangely, Williams looks very, very much like my father. Williams has the same face, body, expressions and many of the same mannerisms.

While that may be coincidence, my grandparents did not have the happiest marriage, and I heard of at least one case of infidelity. Williams’ mother, a former model, was also on her second marriage during this time.

Every time I have seen Williams, the resemblance to my father has struck me as “eerie” and very hard to believe—so much so that I avoid his movies and television shows. I know a number of television and movie stars, but I am far from the “celebrity stalker” type and have little interest in the entertainment industry. However, in this particular case, I often thought of writing Williams. Now, I am disappointed that I probably will never know if there was some relation. His resemblance to my father, though, is very striking.

Why would someone like Williams commit suicide? He was loved by the public, extremely successful and wealthy, and had a wife and family that cared for him and loved him. Williams reportedly first tried to cut his wrists with a knife. When that didn’t work, he hung himself. That is a lot of work, and, in order to commit suicide in this manner, you would need to be extremely unhappy. The level of depression needed to carry out this sort of self-slaughter must be quite deep. You need to feel that life is hopeless, that you do not belong, that things will never get better and you have no other choice. You need to be deeply, deeply troubled.

The fact is, however, suicide is very common, and very few people talk about it. “More people die of suicide than in car accidents or of breast cancer each year,” said Julie Cerel, the board chair of the American Association of Suicidology. “Twice as many people die of suicides than homicides. But nobody talks about it. And whenever there is a loss close to us, we feel so alone, and that nobody wants to listen. So when somebody like this dies and is so beloved, it can bring up those feelings of our loss and get us talking.”

When I was younger, I was isolated and less interested in sports and socialization than cerebral pursuits (reading, writing, etc.). I once set a school record for reading the most books in a single school year (I believe it was 85) and doing book reports on them. I was also rewarded by going to dinner with a couple of other kids, our parents, and our teacher when I was in the fifth grade for reading a lot of books. I enjoyed doing things like raising guppies and writing long reports. When I was in sixth grade, for some reason I wrote a 300-page report about Russia. The other kids in my class did 20-page reports. This sort of behavior is unusual, but it is what made me happy.

Being relatively introverted and enjoying reading and writing is simply the kind of person I am. I’ve given speeches in front of thousands of people; however, I prefer smaller, more intimate environments where I can read, think and study. This is who I am. I also prefer to work in a smaller, quiet office than with a lot of people.

When I got to middle school, I started to notice that kids were dating and there were many social activities going on. I was in a public school (at first) and being good at school made me something of an outcast. The kids who were having fun, spending time with girls and playing sports were the most popular. I immediately got depressed and felt very badly about myself. That is not to say everyone in this environment was “having fun;” however, it seemed like to be popular in this school, I should act more like the other students. I wanted to be part of the “in crowd.”

I concluded (rightly or wrongly) that in order to be part of this group of “cool kids,” I needed to be noticed. So, I started acting out and getting in trouble. My parents knew I was unhappy in the public school and moved me to a private school; however, the social dynamic at this private school was similar. I started being a practical-jokester, not taking school seriously, getting in trouble and being someone completely different than my actual nature.

I ended up not being invited back to the school and spent my first year of high school in a public school in Detroit. I continued to act out, trying to compete in an ongoing popularity contest.

Luckily (I do not know how) I reached the conclusion that none of this behavior was in my best interest. Both my parents had gone to elite colleges and graduate schools and were able (somehow) to convince me that the right person to be was the person who liked to study, do reports and read, and it was okay to be somewhat withdrawn. That is my natural personality, and being the person I am serves me well. Had I continued on the path I was on, I may (like many of my friends from Detroit) have wound up in prison, addicted to drugs, or dead (several of my old friends are).

I decided to be the person I truly am, and that saved my life.

The interesting thing about Williams is that his nature was not the same as the characters he frequently played on screen. According to Williams, as a child, he was pudgy, isolated and had few friends: “I always picked isolated characters, man-child characters, and then tried to make connections with people,” Williams says. “It got to a point where I said, ‘I can’t keep trying to work out therapeutic issues on film.’”

Those issues took root on a Michigan estate … “Robin had the entire third floor,” his mother, Laurie Williams, says. “He put his toy soldiers — he had thousands of them — in those rooms, carefully divided according to period.” Williams not only staged intricate battles between soldiers of different eras, he created dialogue for them in what was, essentially, a childhood version of his performance style.

As an adult, Williams was reportedly quite withdrawn and isolated as well (except when he was on stage): Williams’ talent for ad-libbing functioned as a gift and a shield. “He was always in character — you never saw the real Robin,” said Jamie Masada, founder and chief executive of the Laugh Factory. “I knew him 35 years, and I never knew him.”

Could it be that the cause of Williams’ depression and suicide was that he was living a life as a character and not necessarily being himself? Could it be that his entire career was based on a personality that was not his own, and it left him unfulfilled and empty inside?

I think there is a possibility that this tragedy has something to do with this.

Williams was a prolific user of cocaine and alcohol. I have never used cocaine, but have seen what it does to people. It can take a withdrawn person and turn him into a social butterfly and star on the dance floor. Williams was friends with people like John Belushi (he was the last person to see him alive). Like Williams, Belushi used cocaine to become someone different than he really was while on stage. Many well-known comics, like Chris Farley, have died of cocaine abuse. Richard Pryor is another one who slipped into the depths of cocaine abuse and accompanying depression.

The reason I believe people like Williams, Belushi, Pryor and other comics abuse cocaine is because they believe they need help to “be up” and be something they are not naturally.

They also suffer from the same thing that plagued me when I was younger, a need for the approval of others. Since this approval comes when they are “up” and acting out, they believe they need to constantly put this face on. However, what makes this so difficult is that deep down (like the rest of us) this is not who they really are. They may be depressed, withdrawn and melancholy like everyone else is from time to time. In fact, they may be even more so. They get approval from their peers when they are performing, so they continually perform to get the approval and connection that they need.

As a comedian or other person gets older, getting that approval becomes more difficult – and acting against their own nature to gain this connection becomes depressing and difficult. What if people loved you only when you were “up,” and being “up” was something that was very difficult for you to be at all times? How would you feel then?

In my career counseling and working with job seekers, I see many people who are doing jobs they should not be doing and that are completely inconsistent with their nature. I also see others that do jobs that are completely consistent with their nature. People that do jobs that match their skills and personality are almost always much happier than people doing jobs that don’t really fit them.

Doing something like being a yoga teacher is the last thing in the world I would be comfortable doing. It is completely out of my nature. I started and ran a successful yoga studio and could not believe how passionate people were about this work. I even had people volunteer to teach and work in the yoga studio for free. But people who teach yoga often really love it.

Some attorneys love the practice of law. I know several attorneys who are crazy about practicing law and could not ever think of a better job. I once met an attorney is his mid-90s practicing law who told me that he loved it so much that it was keeping him alive. He was completely suited to the legal practice.

In contrast, I know numerous attorneys who have been sent to early graves practicing law. They hate it, and the stress is too much. It is not in their nature.

No one should ever be living a lie and not being themselves. You need to be the exact person you truly are and want to be. This is the only recipe for happiness and long-term success.

My guess: Williams equated happiness and success with getting the approval of others and being thought of as funny at all times. As he aged, that became harder and harder to do. His career was declining and this attention and mass approval was unlikely to ever come back at the same level. While most people would be happy with the level of success he had achieved, Williams’ mind told him that happiness would only come from being someone different than he truly was.
 
Robin Williams was just a guy with a gift. Millions exist, but few grow to be the meteoric phenomenon as Williams. Acting and comedy are not the only careers where you are called to be someone you are not, either a portion of time or ALL the time. As a counselor, I was "ON,'" all the time, for 30 yrs. It was my job to walk out and produce positive, challenging, healing "performances" regardless of what was going on in my own life. During the period that I worked as a "wounded healer" it was difficult, to say the least, to balance my own addictions, and hide my true identity, while effectively dealing with individuals, families and groups of addicts and co- dependents.

Hiding any of the major factors and life experiences from our families, clients and co-professionals carries a tremendous burden, that over time is exhausting, depressing, and is a perfect cauldron for developing food addiction. Over the years, it is necessary to abandon all the substance and behavioral addiction processes, but eating and obesity, while vilified, are also more accepted for professionals, certainly in the helping professions, the ministry, and other caregiving, codependent positions.

Actors and comedians also have these options, but there are still those whose role requires they be "ON and UP" in a way that is not possible with medication and behavioral therapy needed to slow life down and live life on life's terms. The constant emotional eddies and currents that must be managed are exhausting, and some relief will be sought by the body and mind.

The breakdowns, and sometimes deaths, that result as the constant plate spinning becomes sloppy, make it impossible to maintain privacy and emotional balance, beyond the 50's and 60's. Once broken, it is impossible to draw the bow as taut, or aim as accurate as before. Another current example of this phenomenon is Tiger Woods. The heights are impossible to maintain forever, so bright and beautiful careers often result in a long fall, from which it is impossible to recover. Relearning a new lifestyle, condition, purpose and role is dependent on the mental flexibility of the individual.

As natural benchmarks of age, illness and the slowing down of maturation occur, and add to the unbearable pressure, some make the adjustment, retool and begin a second or third incarnation. Others simply cannot make these changes, or are overwhelmed as intense swings of mood, life's challenge's and lack of personal acceptance become too much to tolerate. The toll of the "gift" becomes too great to carry on, regardless of others attempts to save and rescue the person, who is shrouded in layers of self-deception, and too often self hate. They remarkably choose to exit the stage while no one is watching...the only completely intolerable condition, for those who have become dependent of the adulation and the process of playing one role after another, both on stage and off, until it is impossible to tell which is which. And so it ends, "not with a bang, but a whimper..."
 
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.”

- Henry D. Thoreau, "Walden"
 
"I have heard that many survivors of suicide attempts by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge reported that after they jumped they regretted it immediately and wished they hadn't."

http://nypost.com/2013/06/30/he-jumped-off-the-golden-gate-bridge-and-lived/
According to this article from last year, there are have not been "many" survivors at all: "an exhibit of 1400 pairs of shoes, which represent the known suicides that have jumped from the bridge. Hines is one of six people to survive a suicide attempt from the bridge."

But an interesting point - RW lived 15 min from the GG Bridge - why not do it that way? The failed attempts to slash his wrist(s) with a pocket knife was bizarre and would have left a terrible bloody mess (and is apparently really hard to do); and I would think asphyxiation would be terribly painful and would have the potential of leaving him alive but brain damaged.

I still am very unsure about how to process this - I think there is a lot we will never know, and I don't have a right to know, but I WANT to know.

I saw a great documentary about people who jumped off the Golden Gate bridge. It was called The Bridge and it showed all the people who jumped off the bridge during a one year period. Very moving. I remember hearing in that movie that many of the survivors interviewed regretted their decision almost immediately.

The film was inspired by an article titled "Jumpers", written by Tad Friend, that appeared in The New Yorker magazine in 2003. Friend writes that "Survivors often regret their decision in midair, if not before", and suicide attempt survivor Ken Baldwin explains “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”[4]

I didn't realize there were so few who had ever survived the jump.

All I know is that in my darkest moments, when I considered suicide I remember thinking that I wanted to find a painless way to do it. I felt that I had suffered a lot of pain in living, I didn't want to suffer any more in death.

The only thing I can think of with Robin is that he may have learned some technical things about hanging one's self while filming World's Greatest Dad, and felt that he knew how he could do it right. Apparently he was right if that was the case.
 
This is a bit weird. I am on a mailing list from a guy named Harrison Barnes - he is a legal recruiter/consultant and fancies himself a blogger/guru - his emails contain inspirational blog essays aimed at lawyers, which I find to be a mix of pop-psych/palp, with some good kernels here and there.

He posted this blog today. The first part is just ******* bizarre, but the rest is somewhat interesting - I don't know if I agree with his POV, but I suspect that at least at some level, at some point in his life, some of this was true about RW.

Why Robin Williams Killed Himself: The Importance of Being Yourself

Robin Williams grew up a few miles from where my father grew up, and he is about 10 years younger than my father. Both my grandparents and Williams’ parents were prominent, well-known members of the same community.

Strangely, Williams looks very, very much like my father. Williams has the same face, body, expressions and many of the same mannerisms.

While that may be coincidence, my grandparents did not have the happiest marriage, and I heard of at least one case of infidelity. Williams’ mother, a former model, was also on her second marriage during this time.

Every time I have seen Williams, the resemblance to my father has struck me as “eerie” and very hard to believe—so much so that I avoid his movies and television shows. I know a number of television and movie stars, but I am far from the “celebrity stalker” type and have little interest in the entertainment industry. However, in this particular case, I often thought of writing Williams. Now, I am disappointed that I probably will never know if there was some relation. His resemblance to my father, though, is very striking.

Why would someone like Williams commit suicide? He was loved by the public, extremely successful and wealthy, and had a wife and family that cared for him and loved him. Williams reportedly first tried to cut his wrists with a knife. When that didn’t work, he hung himself. That is a lot of work, and, in order to commit suicide in this manner, you would need to be extremely unhappy. The level of depression needed to carry out this sort of self-slaughter must be quite deep. You need to feel that life is hopeless, that you do not belong, that things will never get better and you have no other choice. You need to be deeply, deeply troubled.

The fact is, however, suicide is very common, and very few people talk about it. “More people die of suicide than in car accidents or of breast cancer each year,” said Julie Cerel, the board chair of the American Association of Suicidology. “Twice as many people die of suicides than homicides. But nobody talks about it. And whenever there is a loss close to us, we feel so alone, and that nobody wants to listen. So when somebody like this dies and is so beloved, it can bring up those feelings of our loss and get us talking.”

When I was younger, I was isolated and less interested in sports and socialization than cerebral pursuits (reading, writing, etc.). I once set a school record for reading the most books in a single school year (I believe it was 85) and doing book reports on them. I was also rewarded by going to dinner with a couple of other kids, our parents, and our teacher when I was in the fifth grade for reading a lot of books. I enjoyed doing things like raising guppies and writing long reports. When I was in sixth grade, for some reason I wrote a 300-page report about Russia. The other kids in my class did 20-page reports. This sort of behavior is unusual, but it is what made me happy.

Being relatively introverted and enjoying reading and writing is simply the kind of person I am. I’ve given speeches in front of thousands of people; however, I prefer smaller, more intimate environments where I can read, think and study. This is who I am. I also prefer to work in a smaller, quiet office than with a lot of people.

When I got to middle school, I started to notice that kids were dating and there were many social activities going on. I was in a public school (at first) and being good at school made me something of an outcast. The kids who were having fun, spending time with girls and playing sports were the most popular. I immediately got depressed and felt very badly about myself. That is not to say everyone in this environment was “having fun;” however, it seemed like to be popular in this school, I should act more like the other students. I wanted to be part of the “in crowd.”

I concluded (rightly or wrongly) that in order to be part of this group of “cool kids,” I needed to be noticed. So, I started acting out and getting in trouble. My parents knew I was unhappy in the public school and moved me to a private school; however, the social dynamic at this private school was similar. I started being a practical-jokester, not taking school seriously, getting in trouble and being someone completely different than my actual nature.

I ended up not being invited back to the school and spent my first year of high school in a public school in Detroit. I continued to act out, trying to compete in an ongoing popularity contest.

Luckily (I do not know how) I reached the conclusion that none of this behavior was in my best interest. Both my parents had gone to elite colleges and graduate schools and were able (somehow) to convince me that the right person to be was the person who liked to study, do reports and read, and it was okay to be somewhat withdrawn. That is my natural personality, and being the person I am serves me well. Had I continued on the path I was on, I may (like many of my friends from Detroit) have wound up in prison, addicted to drugs, or dead (several of my old friends are).

I decided to be the person I truly am, and that saved my life.

The interesting thing about Williams is that his nature was not the same as the characters he frequently played on screen. According to Williams, as a child, he was pudgy, isolated and had few friends: “I always picked isolated characters, man-child characters, and then tried to make connections with people,” Williams says. “It got to a point where I said, ‘I can’t keep trying to work out therapeutic issues on film.’”

Those issues took root on a Michigan estate … “Robin had the entire third floor,” his mother, Laurie Williams, says. “He put his toy soldiers — he had thousands of them — in those rooms, carefully divided according to period.” Williams not only staged intricate battles between soldiers of different eras, he created dialogue for them in what was, essentially, a childhood version of his performance style.

As an adult, Williams was reportedly quite withdrawn and isolated as well (except when he was on stage): Williams’ talent for ad-libbing functioned as a gift and a shield. “He was always in character — you never saw the real Robin,” said Jamie Masada, founder and chief executive of the Laugh Factory. “I knew him 35 years, and I never knew him.”

Could it be that the cause of Williams’ depression and suicide was that he was living a life as a character and not necessarily being himself? Could it be that his entire career was based on a personality that was not his own, and it left him unfulfilled and empty inside?

I think there is a possibility that this tragedy has something to do with this.

Williams was a prolific user of cocaine and alcohol. I have never used cocaine, but have seen what it does to people. It can take a withdrawn person and turn him into a social butterfly and star on the dance floor. Williams was friends with people like John Belushi (he was the last person to see him alive). Like Williams, Belushi used cocaine to become someone different than he really was while on stage. Many well-known comics, like Chris Farley, have died of cocaine abuse. Richard Pryor is another one who slipped into the depths of cocaine abuse and accompanying depression.

The reason I believe people like Williams, Belushi, Pryor and other comics abuse cocaine is because they believe they need help to “be up” and be something they are not naturally.

They also suffer from the same thing that plagued me when I was younger, a need for the approval of others. Since this approval comes when they are “up” and acting out, they believe they need to constantly put this face on. However, what makes this so difficult is that deep down (like the rest of us) this is not who they really are. They may be depressed, withdrawn and melancholy like everyone else is from time to time. In fact, they may be even more so. They get approval from their peers when they are performing, so they continually perform to get the approval and connection that they need.

As a comedian or other person gets older, getting that approval becomes more difficult – and acting against their own nature to gain this connection becomes depressing and difficult. What if people loved you only when you were “up,” and being “up” was something that was very difficult for you to be at all times? How would you feel then?

In my career counseling and working with job seekers, I see many people who are doing jobs they should not be doing and that are completely inconsistent with their nature. I also see others that do jobs that are completely consistent with their nature. People that do jobs that match their skills and personality are almost always much happier than people doing jobs that don’t really fit them.

Doing something like being a yoga teacher is the last thing in the world I would be comfortable doing. It is completely out of my nature. I started and ran a successful yoga studio and could not believe how passionate people were about this work. I even had people volunteer to teach and work in the yoga studio for free. But people who teach yoga often really love it.

Some attorneys love the practice of law. I know several attorneys who are crazy about practicing law and could not ever think of a better job. I once met an attorney is his mid-90s practicing law who told me that he loved it so much that it was keeping him alive. He was completely suited to the legal practice.

In contrast, I know numerous attorneys who have been sent to early graves practicing law. They hate it, and the stress is too much. It is not in their nature.

No one should ever be living a lie and not being themselves. You need to be the exact person you truly are and want to be. This is the only recipe for happiness and long-term success.

My guess: Williams equated happiness and success with getting the approval of others and being thought of as funny at all times. As he aged, that became harder and harder to do. His career was declining and this attention and mass approval was unlikely to ever come back at the same level. While most people would be happy with the level of success he had achieved, Williams’ mind told him that happiness would only come from being someone different than he truly was.
Good article.

And my daughter, who has some experience with that industry, suggested that the method he chose may have been almost all that was available to him at that moment, after cutting himself off from his supply chain. There may not have been drugs in the house. There may not have been a way to sneak out quietly. Fans were watching almost all the time and maybe family members were, too. (Except when they thought he was safe in bed.)

Also, if you were RW, and KNEW you were going to kill yourself and your tox screen would eventually be made public, and the entire planet knew you had a drug/alcohol problem that you were sure you finally conquered, would you OD and let the entire planet say, "Poor ******...he lost that battle one too many times,"? Or would you have your own reasons and say, "This is my clean and sober choice...so there." (This is assuming the tox screen shows sobriety.)

I think that some single, maybe little, Parkinsonian symptom presented, threw him over the edge and he made a decision to end his fear, his pain, his inability to lead a normal happy life before he became more involved in the suffering and more dependent on others. (Remember, he watched Superman die, bit by bit. He may not have wanted to go there.) Also, once the wrist-cutting failed, there would be fear of getting slapped with a 5150 hold and the attendant publicity and photos and stuff.

I don't know that I would choose a different solution. But I think my (pre-selected) route is easier...I'm leaning towards Fentanyl patches...many, many Fentanyl patches...because I am a total coward.


Eta...if anyone here has a Narcan supply, you are NOT invited, thank you very much.
 
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"I think that some single, maybe little, Parkinsonian symptom presented, threw him over the edge and he made a decision to end his fear, his pain, his inability to lead a normal happy life before he became more involved in the suffering and more dependent on others."

This I could maybe understand. The only person I know that knew RW even a little, was through bike riding. RW was a regular rider. I know I would be despondent when I can no longer ski or snowboard, and if RW felt the same about riding, Parkinsons would definitely eff that up.

Many lifestyle choices we make and follow to stay healthy or because we enjoy it, would be eventually eliminated by something like Parkinsons.
 
"I think that some single, maybe little, Parkinsonian symptom presented, threw him over the edge and he made a decision to end his fear, his pain, his inability to lead a normal happy life before he became more involved in the suffering and more dependent on others."

This I could maybe understand. The only person I know that knew RW even a little, was through bike riding. RW was a regular rider. I know I would be despondent when I can no longer ski or snowboard, and if RW felt the same about riding, Parkinsons would definitely eff that up.

Many lifestyle choices we make and follow to stay healthy or because we enjoy it, would be eventually eliminated by something like Parkinsons.
Linda Ronstadt cannot sing anymore. That must be HORRID to have to deal with. There are brave folks who accept the hand they've been dealt. Then there is my club.

My nephew's MIL was just dx'd with ALS. If I had that dx and ANY ability at all to get to my fentanyl patches, I'd be gone. I guess I'm just too weak.
 
Linda Ronstadt cannot sing anymore. That must be HORRID to have to deal with. There are brave folks who accept the hand they've been dealt. Then there is my club.

My nephew's MIL was just dx'd with ALS. If I had that dx and ANY ability at all to get to my fentanyl patches, I'd be gone. I guess I'm just too weak.
I watched a love one die of ALS, and I don't know what's worse - keeping your mind while the body goes, or losing the mind while the body chugs along. AT 78, she was sharp as a tack, which made it especially sad knowing she was completely there as her body was giving up. I'm with you. If I get something like an ALS diagnosis, I'll use my last bit of energy to steal a stack of fentanyl patches.
 
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