Interracial relations

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Spiky Bugger

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Except for doctors offices, dental offices and hospitals, I seldom get out these days. But my cheap coffee maker was going south and we were approaching BigLots!, the home of many cheap things.

I’m getting out, passenger side and an African American woman, with a glorious head of hair, parked next to us was getting in her car on the driver’s side. We almost bumped into each other and both apologized.
I said, “I didn’t even know they were having 20% off everything.”
She said, “They almost always have something I didn’t know I needed.”
I said, “Me, too! So then I buy two!”
She laughed and said, “So do I and I love your hair.”
I said, “See? That’s not fair! I loved your hair first...and I would never try to touch a pregnant woman’s belly, but I couldn't remember if I can comment on fantastic hairstyles on people who are of other races. I’m so confused,”
She said, “Oh, me, too and I almost reached for my pregnant niece’s belly but stopped just in time. All this political stuff is hard to keep up with.”

We both chuckled. But then I remembered...MiniSue thinks I’m Cro-Magnon because I do not like the use of “they” for people who don’t want to be “him” or “her.” I don’t have concerns about sexual/gender identity stuff...people are who they are. But don’t **** with English Grammar. THAT offends me.

Also, I’ll admit it right here: rap isn’t music. It’s very impressive performance art, that sometimes uses music. Except, of course, the hip-hop borderline rap songs from Hamilton. That can be called music.
 
Wait till you can't hear well... rap rock classic... it's all academic.. I'll settle for anything with a gut level beat I can dance to
 
Perhaps I'm just stupid or insensitive, but...

I was at my PCP's office and was getting labs drawn. The AA woman who was doing the draw had long, beautiful dread locks all braided and well past her shoulders. I told her hair was beautiful and if she didn't mind me asking, how long does it take to dry? She laughed and said it was an extension. So I said, something like, You're like Dolly Parton because when someone asked her how long does she take to do her hair, Dolly said she didn't know because she was never there when it was being done. Then we both laughed and wondered how Crystal Gayle manages her down-to-her-ankles hair.

Her hair was stunningly beautiful and since I was staring at, I felt I needed to say something. I also met a man wearing a dashiki, and told him the fabric was beautiful. If something strikes one as beautiful, it shouldn't bother one to compliment another. Yet sometimes I do wonder how I'm coming off. God knows, I don't want to come off like Miss Millie in The Color Purple.
 
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MiniSue thinks I’m Cro-Magnon because I do not like the use of “they” for people who don’t want to be “him” or “her.” I don’t have concerns about sexual/gender identity stuff...people are who they are. But don’t **** with English Grammar. THAT offends me.
I know what you mean, but I suspect we are going to have to learn better. a lot of (ahem, young-uns) seem to feel this pronoun change is here to stay.

:rolleyes:
 
I know what you mean, but I suspect we are going to have to learn better. a lot of (ahem, young-uns) seem to feel this pronoun change is here to stay.

:rolleyes:

Yeah, some feminists still hate that I defer to the using the masculine when the sex is not known. I'm in my late 60's and that's what I was taught. Using "them" just sounds wrong when I'm referring to a single person. I'm not saying I won't change, but cut me some slack instead of just muttering, "Okay, Boomer!" under your breath:whistling:.
 
It's okay to compliment black people's hair. The problem is touching it without asking. It's rude, intrusive and in my case, it feels creepy when strangers do it and I react negatively and quite strongly. It's just like touching a pregnant woman's belly without asking. It's stuff we should have learned as a kid, "We look with our eyes not our hands."

I have a couple non-binary friends and so it is kind of easier to get into using they/them because I feel they are more important than grammar rules. I do have a problem remembering my friend who transitioned from female to male and misgendering him when I think about him. Sometimes I deadname them in my mind too and call them by their old name. Never out loud. Yet. It's hard for me too and I'm 44. My brain just isn't as plastic as it used to be!
 
Still up to my ass in alligators, but...more interracial idiocy on my part.

Saturday, I think. We were watching tv and heard some very close by pops...small calibre firearm? Fire crackers? I texted my next-door neighbor, Angie, who is half my age.

Me: Were those gunshots or firecrackers? They sounded very close. You guys okay?
Angie: We are okay. They sounded like firecrackers. They did sound close though.

Angie is Chinese-American...2nd generation. Her husband is Korean-American...2nd generation. On the other side, Sam and his wife are Chinese-born who immigrated as adults. Their daughter is a 1st generation Chinese-American and her husband is an “arrived as a child” Chinese immigrant. Our town is about 50% Asian.

Sunday. Well, duh! MrSue notes that it is Lunar New Year. LOTS of people here were setting off (yes, they ARE illegal, just like on July 4th) fireworks. I’m flattered that Angie didn’t “Okay, Boomer!” me.

Happy New Year, Everyone!
 
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It's okay to compliment black people's hair. The problem is touching it without asking. It's rude, intrusive and in my case, it feels creepy when strangers do it and I react negatively and quite strongly. It's just like touching a pregnant woman's belly without asking. It's stuff we should have learned as a kid, "We look with our eyes not our hands."

I have a couple non-binary friends and so it is kind of easier to get into using they/them because I feel they are more important than grammar rules. I do have a problem remembering my friend who transitioned from female to male and misgendering him when I think about him. Sometimes I deadname them in my mind too and call them by their old name. Never out loud. Yet. It's hard for me too and I'm 44. My brain just isn't as plastic as it used to be!
Huh? I'm not doubting that there are people who would even think it's okay to touch strangers' hair or any other body part for that fact. I'm just wondering WTH happened to manners. I guess my manners (OK, Boomer) are so old fashioned I wouldn't even dream of asking to invade a complete stranger if I could invade their space let alone just reaching my bony fingers out to touch something.
 
Huh? I'm not doubting that there are people who would even think it's okay to touch strangers' hair or any other body part for that fact. I'm just wondering WTH happened to manners. I guess my manners (OK, Boomer) are so old fashioned I wouldn't even dream of asking to invade a complete stranger if I could invade their space let alone just reaching my bony fingers out to touch something.
Believe me, they do touch your hair like it's theirs and get an attitude if you get upset and tell them to quit.
 
Believe me, they do touch your hair like it's theirs and get an attitude if you get upset and tell them to quit.
I'm NOT pregnant (but I do have ascites due to non-DS issues) and I have people reach out and touch my stomach from time to time. It's bizarre and so disrespectful. I'm pretty germ-phobic and really do not liked to be touched by strangers in any way. I can't imagine how I'd react if someone touched my hair and gave me attitude to boot. Ugh.
 
All these rude and entitled people having me rolling my eyes in disgust. I'll admit some people have touched a soft and fuzzy sweater I was wearing. Maybe I could call that an attractive nuisance, but hair and body parts would bring out my inner Hulk.

2257
 
It's racist even if they believe their intentions aren't. Because why would THEY get upset with me saying don't do that after they touched me and got me all upset? The reasonable response would be "Oh my I have upset you and I apologize for breaching your personal space." Or similar less formal words. But when people don't think of you as even human it's okay to pet you and your hair. And deep deep down that's what they really think and can't face it because that doesn't coincide with how they see themselves.

I have had my hair touched many many many many times in my life and the comments that come with it are annoying, rude, blatantly racist or ignorant, like I am not a person with feelings and I can see it coming better but I am not always able to get out of the way with my back issues. So this is my additional two cents.
 
I'm NOT pregnant (but I do have ascites due to non-DS issues) and I have people reach out and touch my stomach from time to time. It's bizarre and so disrespectful. I'm pretty germ-phobic and really do not liked to be touched by strangers in any way. I can't imagine how I'd react if someone touched my hair and gave me attitude to boot. Ugh.
I once returned the belly pat to an elderly relative who patted my fat belly, and repeated what she said. She was horribly angry, my mom heard about it, I was reprimanded. I gave no ***** whatsoever.
 
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