Spiky Bugger
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 6,310
1--My BFF was recently dx'd with small cell lung cancer. She is cranky and frail and may or may not cooperate with chemo and radiation. The future does NOT appear to be a sunny place.
2--My sister has a yucky bladder surgery in ten days. (We have differently screwed up bladders...weird.) She will have a sling, but also a permanent catheter. I want to be there, but also need to be here, closing escrow on the house we sold and hanging around in our roofless house as it may rain and that's not good when you are between Roof #1 and Roof #2.
3--My daughter, as the cat person, is dealing with a "probably intestinal lymphoma" dx for one of her two cats. This cat has an autoimmune problem and had a couple of surgeries that my kid cannot afford. But ignoring the money part, I'm sure she's in denial about how many GOOD days the cat has. (Not enough.) I firmly believe that cats live only in the moment, cannot "hope" to try something else in search of a cure, and only know how to feel good or bad RIGHT NOW. Kitty has been sick for longer than I had C Diff...and that is NOT a good way to live...especially when you are a cat and can't even hope to feel better with the next attempt at a cure.
4--In this generation, we are a small family. I grew up with almost 20 cousins...my kid has three, and really knows only two of them. So we are a bit more connected to them and their families by marriage. My nephew's MIL was just diagnosed with ALS. What a horrible fucking way to die. No hope at all. (I would be hoping to find a suicide route before it was too late, but that's about it for hope with ALS, imho.) And this kind of dx magnifies existing problems and produces a ripple effect beyond the nuclear family.
So the alcoholic 50-yr-old daughter they have been enabling forever is still living there and doing nothing to improve her lot. This COULD be what jolts her into responsibility...but losing custody of (and relationships with) her sons didn't do it, so this might be just another excuse to stay drunk. And the equally irresponsible granddaughter (not the child of the drunk) also lives there, with her sweet little son, and pays nothing toward rent, food, utilities...and will be getting laid off at the end of the month. More time to par-tay!
Because of the ALS, my sister and BIL have been on overtime as grandparents and great-aunt and uncle...running the grandsons they share with the lady with ALS and her obnoxious husband..and the cute little guy...to baseball games and school events. My nephew's wife...daughter of the lady with ALS...is fairly new at her job. She may need a lot of time off because my sister can't help transporting kids while she's recovering from surgery.
My sister wants to come see our new house. By the time she recovers from surgery, she may be too busy helping her son and DIL, who will be more involved with DIL's mom's illness.
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I don't know how much of this is my worrying about these people and how much is wondering what's in store for ME! That happens when you get old. Yesterday, I got an email listing all of the dead classmates from my HS class and asking if I knew of any MORE dead people. Yuck. And the news always has famous people my age (and younger) who died...too young, imho. (Youth is relative and situational. I'm old enough that, when I was a kid, and the adults were discussing the death of a neighbor or someone from church who was 50 years old or more, there was always the comment, "Well, but s/he had a good, long life." Now that I'm 67, I'm thinking 50 years isn't all that "long.")
You know...we are ALL going to die, eventually. I guess I just don't need so many close-to-home reminders. And I don't need so many loved ones walking around under their own cloud, ala Joe Btfsplk. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Btfsplk#mediaviewer/File:Joe_Btfsplk_Excerpt.png ) I think my goal is to get everything "in order," and...when the time comes and before I am disabled with some horrid disease...to just wake up dead some morning...
And with THAT cheerful thought...
2--My sister has a yucky bladder surgery in ten days. (We have differently screwed up bladders...weird.) She will have a sling, but also a permanent catheter. I want to be there, but also need to be here, closing escrow on the house we sold and hanging around in our roofless house as it may rain and that's not good when you are between Roof #1 and Roof #2.
3--My daughter, as the cat person, is dealing with a "probably intestinal lymphoma" dx for one of her two cats. This cat has an autoimmune problem and had a couple of surgeries that my kid cannot afford. But ignoring the money part, I'm sure she's in denial about how many GOOD days the cat has. (Not enough.) I firmly believe that cats live only in the moment, cannot "hope" to try something else in search of a cure, and only know how to feel good or bad RIGHT NOW. Kitty has been sick for longer than I had C Diff...and that is NOT a good way to live...especially when you are a cat and can't even hope to feel better with the next attempt at a cure.
4--In this generation, we are a small family. I grew up with almost 20 cousins...my kid has three, and really knows only two of them. So we are a bit more connected to them and their families by marriage. My nephew's MIL was just diagnosed with ALS. What a horrible fucking way to die. No hope at all. (I would be hoping to find a suicide route before it was too late, but that's about it for hope with ALS, imho.) And this kind of dx magnifies existing problems and produces a ripple effect beyond the nuclear family.
So the alcoholic 50-yr-old daughter they have been enabling forever is still living there and doing nothing to improve her lot. This COULD be what jolts her into responsibility...but losing custody of (and relationships with) her sons didn't do it, so this might be just another excuse to stay drunk. And the equally irresponsible granddaughter (not the child of the drunk) also lives there, with her sweet little son, and pays nothing toward rent, food, utilities...and will be getting laid off at the end of the month. More time to par-tay!
Because of the ALS, my sister and BIL have been on overtime as grandparents and great-aunt and uncle...running the grandsons they share with the lady with ALS and her obnoxious husband..and the cute little guy...to baseball games and school events. My nephew's wife...daughter of the lady with ALS...is fairly new at her job. She may need a lot of time off because my sister can't help transporting kids while she's recovering from surgery.
My sister wants to come see our new house. By the time she recovers from surgery, she may be too busy helping her son and DIL, who will be more involved with DIL's mom's illness.
######
I don't know how much of this is my worrying about these people and how much is wondering what's in store for ME! That happens when you get old. Yesterday, I got an email listing all of the dead classmates from my HS class and asking if I knew of any MORE dead people. Yuck. And the news always has famous people my age (and younger) who died...too young, imho. (Youth is relative and situational. I'm old enough that, when I was a kid, and the adults were discussing the death of a neighbor or someone from church who was 50 years old or more, there was always the comment, "Well, but s/he had a good, long life." Now that I'm 67, I'm thinking 50 years isn't all that "long.")
You know...we are ALL going to die, eventually. I guess I just don't need so many close-to-home reminders. And I don't need so many loved ones walking around under their own cloud, ala Joe Btfsplk. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Btfsplk#mediaviewer/File:Joe_Btfsplk_Excerpt.png ) I think my goal is to get everything "in order," and...when the time comes and before I am disabled with some horrid disease...to just wake up dead some morning...
And with THAT cheerful thought...
