How does one fail/ break their surgery?

[robs477]

This is going to be a book. Just fair warning. Lol

My metabolism wasn't broken when I had the sleeve back in 2010. That came after.

I got so fat by being more and more sedentary as my back issues got worse and being a volume eater...I was miss piggy. I loved food and he'll I couldn't do much else so I ate!

The weight came off super easy and fast after my sleeve. It was awesome. I totally changed the way I ate, what I ate, and obviously how much I ate. My body was shocked by the change and the weight just melted off.

I was working out with a personal trainer 3x/week to strengthen my core thinking that would help my back issues. Well that caused my problem disc to actually blow out and required surgery to fix it. Things were great for a while after that...I had NO pain and I could do more and I was still losing a bit.

A few months later I was asked by my good friend and the owner and founder of my company who was dying of cancer to take care of him in his last months and have medical power of atty and to make all of his end of life decisions. I was incredibly honored and it was a request I would never and could never have refused. A week before that my x husband and I decided to get divorced so I was dealing with that as well. That started about 4 months of very trying times. After several weeks in the hospital he decided no more doctors and he wanted to die in his home in Florida. So off to Florida we went where I stayed with him until he passed about 2 months later. That's a very long story, but there were people in the picture with ulterior motives and I couldn't leave him alone ever. That left me little options for food and eating decently. Plus with all the stress and volatility I didn't have much of an appetite. This was the fall of 2011.

This started my year of being sick. In January of 2012 I woke up one morning and after a little bit I started to feel really funny. My parents were visiting and I told them I needed to go lay down for a bit. I ended up passing out three times back to back. They took me to the ER and they ran a few tests and did some bloodwork and said everything was good...they couldn't find anything wrong with me. I specifically asked them if they had checked my iron, because I suspected I was anemic. They said they did and it was all normal. I had intended to go in a few days and get copies of everything from the hospital but I never did for some reason. As time went on, I never fainted or felt like that again, but I was feeling worse and worse. I was freezing all the time...like bad freezing, from the inside out. I had no energy, I couldn't sleep, I had terrible symptoms of RLS, and I had no appetite. I lived off of sonic ice, coffee, and pistachios for the most part. Oh every once in a while, I'd cook something or we'd go out to eat, but there would be days where all i would have were those 3 things. In the midst of this, my back started giving me problems again. I had pretty much contributed the way I was feeling to a reaction or response to everything that had happened with John.

I never saw a doctor during that year but I was having some female issues so that winter I saw my gyn. My uterus was prolapsed and he said I needed a hysterectomy. It wasn't urgent so he said to call him when I was ready to schedule it. In January I had two very very heavy periods..like hemorrhaging heavy. I went to see him again and he said ok let's schedule the surgery now. In the pre-op bloodwork for that surgery it was discovered that I was severely anemic. Out of curiosity, I went to the hospital and got my records from the year before. Bloodwork showed my h&h were low and they ran no iron tests. Had I gone and got the results right after the fainting episode I would have known what the problem was and could have saved myself a year of misery. I lost so much of that year...it's foggy and there are lots of things I don't remember.

After the hysterectomy, I was feeling even worse. Went back to my gyn and said something isn't right. I just feel BAD. he asked me if I needed pain meds...NO...I wasn't in pain, I just don't feel good! He finally said maybe your hormones are out of whack, let's draw some blood. I had asked him when I went in for the surgery if he was going to give me blood or iron and he said he didn't think it was necessary that since I wasn't going to be bleeding anymore, my levels should come up on their own fairly quickly. Well, we got the results back of the bloodwork and my levels had dropped even further. They said I was about 5 pints of blood short. He sent me to a hematologist. I had a 6 hour iron infusion and exactly 2 weeks later, I woke up and felt like a new person. I haven't eaten ice or a pistachio since!

Now that I was back to my old self and had an appetite again, I started eating regularly and on plan for my sleeve. I always stayed very carb conscious, but I did occasionally have stuff I shouldn't have. Not everyday by any means. But I started gaining weight. Nothing fast or drastic...but I was gaining. Then last summer I failed 15lbs quick and the only thing different in my diet was fruit. It was hot and the fruit was refreshing. Lots of watermelon, canteloupes, grapes, and apples. When I went for a checkup with my cardiologist and saw how much I'd gained, I about died. I cut out all the fruit and went back to basics. Protein, protein, protein, and low carb. Couldn't lose a lb. did that for about 2-3 months. Had actually gained a few more lbs. I was eating around 600-800 calories a day at that point.

That's when I figured my metabolism was busted. That's when I started looking into a revision to the DS. And here I am. The loss is super slow....but there was no shock to my system this time around. There was no big change to the way I eat, or what I eat, or how much....except that it's even less now because since surgery I've lost my appetite again. Eating is a chore...unless it's boiled seafood, then its a pleasure. Lol

So...that's my tale on how i broke or failed my surgery. I don't believe my sleeve failed me. I believe shit just happens..unplanned shit and what I got out of it was a broken metabolism.

I guess in a way, that’s my whole point. The DS does NOT fix our (we “Super Absorbers”) broken metabolisms…zero from zero still equals zero. What it will do though is allow us to eat more and enjoy life a little more without GAINING weight. Math wise, I’m pretty much getting the same weight loss as before the surgery, but at least can eat some foods I like now. I will have to force the WL….is what it is.

 

[robs477]

@robs477 , you may not be getting enough carbs and that may be putting you in a starvation / retention mode. Step up the carbs a bit for two days and see what happens... It may kickstart your metabolism. Some people need a bit more to lose.

Thxs Hil, I read this last night and I'm trying that today actually, thxs. Should I keep it under 50?

Also why do you think this isn't a stall? This is a pretty common point in the timeline for a stall.

36 years of the learned experiences of dealing with my failed and F’d up metabolism, dealing with the learned behavior resulting in my low expectations and feeling like it’s just something else that won’t work and will result in yet another failure. I’ve never been through a “Stall” so it’s conceptual to me unless I experience it?? Make sense? To me, it just feels like another failed attempt. I’m NOT trying to be a downer and I usually am a positive person, AND I can accept whatever, I’m just trying to convey what I’m feeling honestly inside and that’s what it feels like.

 

[robs477]

OK guys and girls... Quit the self flagellation and chunk the hair shirts. Really!!

@Munchkin...Ok Mumm, ...I got no problem with the self-flagellation thingy….been doing that for years …..but WTF does the “chunk the hair shirts” thing mean….

 

[Munchkin]

@robs477 google it and read what it was like back when people really wore hair shirts. Self punishment for all of our evil deeds is nothing new.

After reading all these replies it all comes back to another of my personal favorites. And I think I am the first person who said this around the forums. Others have copied it and that's good. It's something we need to take to heart and believe. Obesity is a disease, not a character flaw. We did the most we could to fight it!

Now I would have picked hyperthyroidism for my disease if I could. My father had this for a while and I can still remember him eating whole pies and gallons of ice cream, losing weight like crazy the whole time. I got to watch the debauchery and eat celery sticks. Finally they decided to make him drink a radioactive cocktail to kill his thyroid. I was a smart kid. I was the one whispering in his ear, "Drink about 1/3 of it and spill the rest on the floor!"

I don't know if it would have saved him or not because he drank the whole thing. And then had to be really careful about eating for the rest of his life. He couldn't allow himself to get fat because he had spent years traumatizing me, my sister, and my mom about our weight! He knew his life would be hell on Earth if he got fat.

Then there was the time I tried to GIVE myself an eating disorder. I read every book I could about all of them and tried to force myself into that mindset. Of course it didn't work and about the only thing I learned was that I didn't have an eating disorder. Years later, I lived with a person who did have an eating disorder and I saw the real thing. Today I can say I'm glad it didn't work and I feel bad for the people who do have these issues. Older and wiser, you know.

In the end we all have to accept what we get. And some will be happier than others. I just hate to see people waste what is probably their last, best chance to be a normal sized person. I am everyone's cheerleader and I want everyone to lose it all! And hell yes, I'm jealous. But I still want you to succeed!

 

[Txkat]

I think everybody loses weight differently. I've always been prone to cliffs. I'll drop 5 pounds, then it sits there for a while, sometimes a few weeks, sometimes even a month, then my body decides that it's ready to drop some weight again, then a stall, etc. etc. Surgery hasn't changed that for me, other than the size of the cliffs. I never did any extreme dieting. I was a very active younger woman, and when I wanted to lose weight, I just drank less, or didn't eat out as much, and upped my exercise. At 5 weeks out, I'm down right at 20 lbs. from my pre-op weight. But for over two weeks in the middle of the month, I didn't lose a thing. I'm really in no hurry to lose all my weight quickly. I'd like to have less skin to deal with. My pants fell off walking across the street at the grocery store the other day, and I'm in no mood to have to replace my wardrobe 3 times. I weigh myself every day...always have. I know that's a bad habit, but as long as I keep my focus on how I want to feel instead of how I want to look, it's fine.

 

[jillc]

36 years of the learned experiences of dealing with my failed and F’d up metabolism, dealing with the learned behavior resulting in my low expectations and feeling like it’s just something else that won’t work and will result in yet another failure. I’ve never been through a “Stall” so it’s conceptual to me unless I experience it?? Make sense? To me, it just feels like another failed attempt. I’m NOT trying to be a downer and I usually am a positive person, AND I can accept whatever, I’m just trying to convey what I’m feeling honestly inside and that’s what it feels like.

@robs477 I don't know if you remember, but I came on the boards about 4.5 weeks after surgery, antsy about a stall. And I mean a STALL. No weight loss. None.
I'm by no means any expert as I'm not even four months out yet. But when I stalled, it lasted 3 weeks and three days.
So hang in there. It's not broken. But do experiment. I would suggest eating more. I know you've had to starve yourself in the past, but after the DS I've found if I don't eat every four hours I suffer from nausea. Along with vitamins, it's a major slog. Forcing food down is not pleasant.
I'm also losing so much hair I have to sweep the bathroom floor and make sure I brush my hair nekkid so I don't wear a fuzzy ginger-haired shirt. My thyroid is wonky, and I can't stomach iron supplements, so I'm going to get those two things checked out.
Emotionally, this whole thing is messed up. You're dumping hormones and weight, and fear of failure is huge. "What if I'm the one person this doesn't work for?" - this is a constant internal refrain for me.
I've had depression in the past. I'm not depressed, but I do feel down a lot of the time, which logically, to me makes no sense. But emotions have sweet FA to do with logic most of the time.
I've dealt with most of my issues, so I can deal with my internal self-saboteur and tell her to Shut the Front Door.
I've had to accept I probably won't achieve 100% EWL. I'm hopeful I will, but if I get to a pleasantly curvy weight and can do most things without my weight being an issue, I will be very happy.

Hang in there!!

 

[Brandy]

The DS does NOT fix our (we “Super Absorbers”) broken metabolisms…zero from zero still equals zero.

I respectfully submit that you are wrong. I don't think that all "Super Absorbers" have the same root cause and while I agree that the DS might not fix all of them, I think it may be too soon for you to know if it fixed yours or not.

I believe more and more that it was my super long, "almost one for the record books" short intestine that made me a super absorber and now with that mostly bypassed, I am fixed. (I'm still a little, "knock on wood" about it though.)

I'm at 7 months now, and I'm just getting to the place where I know how to work with my new body or perhaps my body is just healing up enough now that it can be more consistent than it has been since the surgery. I know I need at least 60 carbs and 1,000 calories or I stall, get muddy headed and also lose the energy to exercise. I know some fruit will go a long way towards keeping me regular. I know when I start to crave something, just to freaking eat it or I will find a thousand things that are close but not quite meet the need, but once I have the real thing, a few bites and I'm done. I've never had the same craving twice and they only happen every other month or so, so I think I will start to trust my body on these. I think I could probably eat a little wheat flour or potatoes or pasta, but I'm too afraid to try. I know that pumpkin seeds make me constipated but pistachios are the opposite. I know that when I do stall, my body will reshape itself and I will drop a size overnight. My husband said just this morning "Oh, your stall is over then?" because he could see the change in my size. (Belly & butt this time!! Yes!)

None of the above adds up in math or calories. I don't think human bodies work that logically. Perhaps yours does, or did, but you are in a brand new ballgame now, my friend. I'm afraid that if you think you know the answers "I can eat just a few more foods I like.." you won't try and experiment with what works for you at that point in time with in the DS journey. And if your body need more food, more carbs, more fat or who knows, more pistachios, you will not be as successful if you are not open to those possibilities.

So, take some time to heal up and experiment before you come to any conclusions that limit your choices.

 

[hilary1617]

@robs477 - we've all been betrayed by our bodies and pre-DS I was definitely a super-absorber, so can totally empathize with how you are feeling.

But, please keep in mind what a powerful tool the DS is. You are very early out. Based on personal experience, years of reading boards, and the numerous scientifically valid published studies with short and long term weight loss statistics for DS, the odds are far greater in favor of this being a stall than anything else.

I say this not as lecture, but to give you a kick in the pants to (a) try things that might break a stall (hydrate more, increase carbs to fight starvation mode, change things up a bit), (b) give the DS a chance to prove itself, and (c) smile, smile, smile (because you have a wonderful, healthy future ahead!).

Do not give up hope just yet! A DS will even beat dragon style kung fu.
Hil

 

[Munchkin]

I think everybody loses weight differently. I've always been prone to cliffs. I'll drop 5 pounds, then it sits there for a while, sometimes a few weeks, sometimes even a month, then my body decides that it's ready to drop some weight again, then a stall, etc. etc. Surgery hasn't changed that for me, other than the size of the cliffs. I never did any extreme dieting. I was a very active younger woman, and when I wanted to lose weight, I just drank less, or didn't eat out as much, and upped my exercise. At 5 weeks out, I'm down right at 20 lbs. from my pre-op weight. But for over two weeks in the middle of the month, I didn't lose a thing. I'm really in no hurry to lose all my weight quickly. I'd like to have less skin to deal with. My pants fell off walking across the street at the grocery store the other day, and I'm in no mood to have to replace my wardrobe 3 times. I weigh myself every day...always have. I know that's a bad habit, but as long as I keep my focus on how I want to feel instead of how I want to look, it's fine.

I seriously love your avie. I also think you need to start a food porn post and show us pictures of your creations. After all, pictures have no carbs.

 

[Txkat]

Awe, thanks @Munchkin ! I can post as much sugar porn as the board would like...it was mango margarita cake day today.tomorrow I think is Thrilla in Vanilla.

 

[robs477]

@robs477 google it and read what it was like back when people really wore hair shirts. Self punishment for all of our evil deeds is nothing new.

After reading all these replies it all comes back to another of my personal favorites. And I think I am the first person who said this around the forums. Others have copied it and that's good. It's something we need to take to heart and believe. Obesity is a disease, not a character flaw. We did the most we could to fight it!

Now I would have picked hyperthyroidism for my disease if I could. My father had this for a while and I can still remember him eating whole pies and gallons of ice cream, losing weight like crazy the whole time. I got to watch the debauchery and eat celery sticks. Finally they decided to make him drink a radioactive cocktail to kill his thyroid. I was a smart kid. I was the one whispering in his ear, "Drink about 1/3 of it and spill the rest on the floor!"

I don't know if it would have saved him or not because he drank the whole thing. And then had to be really careful about eating for the rest of his life. He couldn't allow himself to get fat because he had spent years traumatizing me, my sister, and my mom about our weight! He knew his life would be hell on Earth if he got fat.

Then there was the time I tried to GIVE myself an eating disorder. I read every book I could about all of them and tried to force myself into that mindset. Of course it didn't work and about the only thing I learned was that I didn't have an eating disorder. Years later, I lived with a person who did have an eating disorder and I saw the real thing. Today I can say I'm glad it didn't work and I feel bad for the people who do have these issues. Older and wiser, you know.

In the end we all have to accept what we get. And some will be happier than others. I just hate to see people waste what is probably their last, best chance to be a normal sized person. I am everyone's cheerleader and I want everyone to lose it all! And hell yes, I'm jealous. But I still want you to succeed!

@Munchkin...Your postings are always so full of wisdom and good advice, and I promise, I'm listening and trying to learn and appreciate everyone’s perspective!

 

[robs477]

@robs477 I don't know if you remember, but I came on the boards about 4.5 weeks after surgery, antsy about a stall. And I mean a STALL. No weight loss. None.
I'm by no means any expert as I'm not even four months out yet. But when I stalled, it lasted 3 weeks and three days.
So hang in there. It's not broken. But do experiment. I would suggest eating more. I know you've had to starve yourself in the past, but after the DS I've found if I don't eat every four hours I suffer from nausea. Along with vitamins, it's a major slog. Forcing food down is not pleasant.
I'm also losing so much hair I have to sweep the bathroom floor and make sure I brush my hair nekkid so I don't wear a fuzzy ginger-haired shirt. My thyroid is wonky, and I can't stomach iron supplements, so I'm going to get those two things checked out.
Emotionally, this whole thing is messed up. You're dumping hormones and weight, and fear of failure is huge. "What if I'm the one person this doesn't work for?" - this is a constant internal refrain for me.
I've had depression in the past. I'm not depressed, but I do feel down a lot of the time, which logically, to me makes no sense. But emotions have sweet FA to do with logic most of the time.
I've dealt with most of my issues, so I can deal with my internal self-saboteur and tell her to Shut the Front Door.
I've had to accept I probably won't achieve 100% EWL. I'm hopeful I will, but if I get to a pleasantly curvy weight and can do most things without my weight being an issue, I will be very happy.

Hang in there!!

Hi @jillc ...I really am starting to think Im not eating enough and realying on the shakes to much and am increasing my actual food and carbs. Because of the paranoia of my past, I’ve been afraid too, but, you guys are all saying that, so I started that yesterday. Your new pic looks great BTW, you can see your progress!! Thxs for taking the time to respond and for your perspective.

 

[robs477]

@robs477 - we've all been betrayed by our bodies and pre-DS I was definitely a super-absorber, so can totally empathize with how you are feeling.

But, please keep in mind what a powerful tool the DS is. You are very early out. Based on personal experience, years of reading boards, and the numerous scientifically valid published studies with short and long term weight loss statistics for DS, the odds are far greater in favor of this being a stall than anything else.

I say this not as lecture, but to give you a kick in the pants to (a) try things that might break a stall (hydrate more, increase carbs to fight starvation mode, change things up a bit), (b) give the DS a chance to prove itself, and (c) smile, smile, smile (because you have a wonderful, healthy future ahead!).

Do not give up hope just yet! A DS will even beat dragon style kung fu.
Hil

@hilary1617....I’m all good sweet Lady! I am caring less and less everyday what the GD scale says and it is bothering me a little less everyday….Words are just words until you actually live them, for me at least. One example EN saying “STAY OFF THE GD SCALE”, you know why, but still you do it anyway…..This is why!!
So, yes, I am increasing my actual food and carbs some. Because of the paranoia of my past, I’ve been afraid too, but, just started that yesterday.
Thank you so much for your replies and words of reminders and encouragement! You are all such great people!

 

[robs477]

I respectfully submit that you are wrong. I don't think that all "Super Absorbers" have the same root cause and while I agree that the DS might not fix all of them, I think it may be too soon for you to know if it fixed yours or not.

I believe more and more that it was my super long, "almost one for the record books" short intestine that made me a super absorber and now with that mostly bypassed, I am fixed. (I'm still a little, "knock on wood" about it though.)

I'm at 7 months now, and I'm just getting to the place where I know how to work with my new body or perhaps my body is just healing up enough now that it can be more consistent than it has been since the surgery. I know I need at least 60 carbs and 1,000 calories or I stall, get muddy headed and also lose the energy to exercise. I know some fruit will go a long way towards keeping me regular. I know when I start to crave something, just to freaking eat it or I will find a thousand things that are close but not quite meet the need, but once I have the real thing, a few bites and I'm done. I've never had the same craving twice and they only happen every other month or so, so I think I will start to trust my body on these. I think I could probably eat a little wheat flour or potatoes or pasta, but I'm too afraid to try. I know that pumpkin seeds make me constipated but pistachios are the opposite. I know that when I do stall, my body will reshape itself and I will drop a size overnight. My husband said just this morning "Oh, your stall is over then?" because he could see the change in my size. (Belly & butt this time!! Yes!)

None of the above adds up in math or calories. I don't think human bodies work that logically. Perhaps yours does, or did, but you are in a brand new ballgame now, my friend. I'm afraid that if you think you know the answers "I can eat just a few more foods I like.." you won't try and experiment with what works for you at that point in time with in the DS journey. And if your body need more food, more carbs, more fat or who knows, more pistachios, you will not be as successful if you are not open to those possibilities.

So, take some time to heal up and experiment before you come to any conclusions that limit your choices.

@Brandy...Very, very good advice and I will take it! YES…I only know failure from past starvations and that 36 years of learned behavior has put blinders on me and I have been afraid to “step outside” my comfort zone of deprivation and EXPERIMENT! You and the other posters really did nail it for me and I need to change how I view eating and food and KEEP AN OPEN MIND, and be flexible and open to changes and differentiations which will also change along the way.
Thank you for taking the time to give me your perspective and convey your similar experiences! All these posts have given me hope and peace of mind and the courage to step outside that F*@#%&# Box.

 

[SHales]

The hardest thing for me to learn about my DS was: "the more I ate, the more I lost". My brain just would not wrap around that fact. Pre-op, I gained weight on an 800 calorie a day diet. I was an expert dieter and probably would have weighed twice as much if I had not dieted for 40+ years. I finally quit trying to analyze it and ate more. It took me 3 years to lose all of my excess weight and it will be 10 years in June since I have had surgery. The weight is still gone.