Help my mother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out

[Wintergetsheathly]

Help my Stepmother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out or if I lose weight I will just gain all back, she does not understand weight over 600 pounds is very hard for me to live life.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Help my Stepmother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out or if I lose weight I will just gain all back, she does not understand weight over 600 pounds is very hard for me to live life.

1–How old are you?

2–Does she, in any way—physically, financially, etc—support you?

 

[DianaCox]

Ask her why she uses a washing machine, and doesn’t haul her laundry to the creek and beat it on rocks. Is she taking the easy way out??

Morbid obesity - and especially super super morbid obesity as you have - IS A DISEASE! You can’t cure this or most any disease with willpower.

Please share this with her:

I went to Yale, and have a PhD in molecular biology, as well as being a lawyer. I am 68 years old. I struggled with my weight MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. I know more about the DISEASE of morbid obesity than most medical doctors. I had my duodenal switch over 18 years ago, at age 50, and my only regret is that I couldn’t have had it 20 years before that.

I dieted my way up to 300 lbs, because every diet tells our remarkably evolutionarily adapted bodies that we are in a famine, and it permanently adjusts our metabolic rate down, and favors storage of MORE fat to ensure we survive the next famine.

You have NO FUCKING IDEA what your stepdaughter is going through. At 600 lbs, there is NO FUCKING WAY she can lose 400+ lbs on her own. She will DIE if she doesn’t lose a massive amount of weight, and soon.

If you can’t be supportive of her struggle and her LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE intention to use the progress of science and medicine to help cure her of her DISEASE, please learn to SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR IGNORANT AND HURTFUL OPINIONS ABOUT BARIATRIC SURGERY BEING THE “EASY WAY OUT” - you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SO AGAIN, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

You have NO FUCKING IDEA what her life is like, how much physical, emotional and psychic pain she is constantly in, especially if her fucked up metabolism is causing her to be constantly hungry, with no sensation of satiety.

If you love her, you will EDUCATE yourself about her disease and the only treatment that works, which is bariatric surgery, and most especially the duodenal switch. Otherwise, LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE, and in particular, SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR HURTFUL, DEMEANING AND GROTESQUELY IGNORANT OPINIONS.

If you would like to talk to me (and I promise I can speak calmly without saying fuck every other word, but you need to be impressed with how ignorant and hurtful you are being), I would be happy to explain the science to you, as well as what you can do to HELP her, rather than being part of the problem.

But hey - I’m somewhat opinionated myself. I just happen to have opinions based on KNOWLEDGE.

 

[aaa]

Does she know if you’re happy as you are right now? Does she realize how tough it is for you? Does she understand how it gets worse as you get older the more weight you have on?

I wrote a pros/cons list to decide whether or not to have WLS as I didn’t want it. But the list reallly helped me out. If she saw yours, it might help. So many of us here can confirm it isn’t an easy solution. We work at it to stay healthy & at a good weight.

We have many veterans who have successfully kept the weight off. I’m one of them. I had the TDS in April 2005 & my weight is still off.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Ask her why she uses a washing machine, and doesn’t haul her laundry to the creek and beat it on rocks. Is she taking the easy way out??

Morbid obesity - and especially super super morbid obesity as you have - IS A DISEASE! You can’t cure this or most any disease with willpower.

Please share this with her:

I went to Yale, and have a PhD in molecular biology, as well as being a lawyer. I am 68 years old. I struggled with my weight MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. I know more about the DISEASE of morbid obesity than most medical doctors. I had my duodenal switch over 18 years ago, at age 50, and my only regret is that I couldn’t have had it 20 years before that.

I dieted my way up to 300 lbs, because every diet tells our remarkably evolutionarily adapted bodies that we are in a famine, and it permanently adjusts our metabolic rate down, and favors storage of MORE fat to ensure we survive the next famine.

You have NO FUCKING IDEA what your stepdaughter is going through. At 600 lbs, there is NO FUCKING WAY she can lose 400+ lbs on her own. She will DIE if she doesn’t lose a massive amount of weight, and soon.

If you can’t be supportive of her struggle and her LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE intention to use the progress of science and medicine to help cure her of her DISEASE, please learn to SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR IGNORANT AND HURTFUL OPINIONS ABOUT BARIATRIC SURGERY BEING THE “EASY WAY OUT” - you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SO AGAIN, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

You have NO FUCKING IDEA what her life is like, how much physical, emotional and psychic pain she is constantly in, especially if her fucked up metabolism is causing her to be constantly hungry, with no sensation of satiety.

If you love her, you will EDUCATE yourself about her disease and the only treatment that works, which is bariatric surgery, and most especially the duodenal switch. Otherwise, LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE, and in particular, SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR HURTFUL, DEMEANING AND GROTESQUELY IGNORANT OPINIONS.

If you would like to talk to me (and I promise I can speak calmly without saying fuck every other word, but you need to be impressed with how ignorant and hurtful you are being), I would be happy to explain the science to you, as well as what you can do to HELP her, rather than being part of the problem.

But hey - I’m somewhat opinionated myself. I just happen to have opinions based on KNOWLEDGE.

You delicate, silver-tongued, flower.

Oh…and I guess my c-section was the easy way out, too.

 

[Larra]

That "easy way out" crap is one of my pet peeves, along with "you took a short cut" or anything similar. It isn't easy, and it's the ONLY way out. The statistics for someone with morbid obesity (never mind super whatever obesity) successfully losing that weight and maintaining the weight loss without bariatric surgery is a higher than 95% failure rate. So, anyone telling you to "just diet and exercise" or "push yourself away from the table" - yes, we have heard it all - is blissfully ignorant of the science and reality of morbid obesity.
You are an adult. It's your body and your decision. You will never have 100% of people supporting your decision, though of course it hurts when someone close to you doesn't support you and doesn't understand that you are suffering AND that, with you being bedridden, your health is already poor and deteriorating and your quality of life is, at best, poor. You do what is best for you, and them can do what is best for them.

 

[Munchkin]

Read what Diana said again. Read it a couple times. Now find your girlie balls and tell your stepmother you are taking control of your own life and making your own decisions.

Obesity is a disease, not a character flaw.

 

[Wintergetsheathly]

Ask her why she uses a washing machine, and doesn’t haul her laundry to the creek and beat it on rocks. Is she taking the easy way out??

Morbid obesity - and especially super super morbid obesity as you have - IS A DISEASE! You can’t cure this or most any disease with willpower.

Please share this with her:

I went to Yale, and have a PhD in molecular biology, as well as being a lawyer. I am 68 years old. I struggled with my weight MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. I know more about the DISEASE of morbid obesity than most medical doctors. I had my duodenal switch over 18 years ago, at age 50, and my only regret is that I couldn’t have had it 20 years before that.

I dieted my way up to 300 lbs, because every diet tells our remarkably evolutionarily adapted bodies that we are in a famine, and it permanently adjusts our metabolic rate down, and favors storage of MORE fat to ensure we survive the next famine.

You have NO FUCKING IDEA what your stepdaughter is going through. At 600 lbs, there is NO FUCKING WAY she can lose 400+ lbs on her own. She will DIE if she doesn’t lose a massive amount of weight, and soon.

If you can’t be supportive of her struggle and her LOGICAL AND SENSIBLE intention to use the progress of science and medicine to help cure her of her DISEASE, please learn to SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR IGNORANT AND HURTFUL OPINIONS ABOUT BARIATRIC SURGERY BEING THE “EASY WAY OUT” - you have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SO AGAIN, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

You have NO FUCKING IDEA what her life is like, how much physical, emotional and psychic pain she is constantly in, especially if her fucked up metabolism is causing her to be constantly hungry, with no sensation of satiety.

If you love her, you will EDUCATE yourself about her disease and the only treatment that works, which is bariatric surgery, and most especially the duodenal switch. Otherwise, LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE, and in particular, SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR HURTFUL, DEMEANING AND GROTESQUELY IGNORANT OPINIONS.

If you would like to talk to me (and I promise I can speak calmly without saying fuck every other word, but you need to be impressed with how ignorant and hurtful you are being), I would be happy to explain the science to you, as well as what you can do to HELP her, rather than being part of the problem.

But hey - I’m somewhat opinionated myself. I just happen to have opinions based on KNOWLEDGE.

Thank you so much for your answers my question you help me a lot I just wanted her undestand I'm taken my life back by have this life saving surgery, Also my mom like what you said when you answer my question, so thank you very much for answering my question.

 

[southernlady]

So if having cancer treatment is taking the easy way out?

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Help my Stepmother with doesn't support me have weight loss surgery, she keeps saying it is the easy way out or if I lose weight I will just gain all back, she does not understand weight over 600 pounds is very hard for me to live life.

BTW…I asked about your age because if you are VERY young, her stupid rudeness might be a kind of protective response.

 

[hilary1617]

^^^^ Everything said above is spot on advice. There's no easy way out. There is one good option that does work - surgery. But, it isn't easy. It takes hard work and commitment.

I'd point out to your stepmother the zero or near-zero number of people on the planet who have lost 300 or more pounds and maintained the loss without surgery. I'd contrast that with he large number of people who die early deaths from complications of obesity and super morbid obesity.

Sorry she doesn't understand. That must be very tough.

 

[Wintergetsheathly]

1–How old are you?

2–Does she, in any way—physically, financially, etc—support you?

Im 24 years old

 

[Wintergetsheathly]

BTW…I asked about your age because if you are VERY young, her stupid rudeness might be a kind of protective response.

I'm 24years old

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Im 24 years old

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, MAYBE she thinks she’s protecting you. But she’s just wrong, wrong, wrong. And if she’s not “picking up the tab” for all of this, then she simply needs to STFU.

AND, I am FIFTY years older than you and hereby give you permission to STRONGLY tell her that this is YOUR decision and if she cannot offer support, she should just go away. You don’t need her negativity as you deal with this.

If necessary, you MAY need to tell her to get the fuck out of your life until you decide to invite her back in.

 

[hilary1617]

Wintergetsheathly - I hope your mom comes up to speed on the risks of not having surgery so she can support your plans for a healthier future. Step by step. In the meantime, please keep at the arm exercise and look into what resources might be available to help you come up with a good plan.