Flowers for Algernon

Clematis

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 5, 2015
Messages
1,705
It’s been a while since I posted. I had DS exactly 5 years ago, lost all my weight in less than a year, high cholesterol and elevated glucose vanished. I had a lower body lift 18 months out. I have no words to describe the miracle of DS. I have been absolutely overjoyed with the happiest years of my life.

Nearly a year ago, though, my weight slowly begun to rise. without a change in my eating habits. Nothing too dramatic at first: 5 pounds. I wasn’t too worried. Then in the early part of this year I was startled when one day my floating soft serve ice cream kinda poop was firmly-formed and sunk in the toilet. At first that was only once a week or two, then several times a week and now mostly all the time. My weight rapidly rose and I am now more than 25 pounds over where I was and where I’d like to be. BMI is 25 bordering on 26. (I’ve shrunk an inch with age which I refuse to acknowledge or my BMI would be even higher.) I still appear to be gaining 2-3 pounds a month. I have a closet full of new clothes in size 4 or XS, most of which I can now no longer wear. I bought a new coat last week and had to get L for it to zip around my hips. I was so embarrassed, when I got home I cut the size label out at the neck for fear someone would see it.

I usually have blood work done in May and November. Because of Covid I skipped May and just got my November results: cholesterol is up to 219 from 167. (I am unable to take statins as I am one of those who developed dementia, liver damage and every other bad side effect from them.)

Sinking firm poop and rising cholesterol tell me I have hypertrophy of the bowel: my intestines have adapted to absorb fats again.

Yeah, I certainly had heard about this phenomenon but of course I never thought it would happen to ME.

People who have known me from my fat days say nothing but I see them surreptitiously glance at my hips and thighs and quickly look away. People I have met since the DS who believe I have always been not just thin, but lanky skinny have made jokes about "Covid weight". I am so deeply ashamed.

My only remedy at this point is strict dieting and even that won’t help my cholesterol much. Hey, if I was any good at dieting I wouldn't have needed a DS. I wake with dieting determination but that evaporates by lunchtime. I am very active and hike 8-12 miles a day. Yes, every morning. There’s not much more I can do on the exercise front besides push myself from the table, not one of my better skills.

I am utterly terrified I will revert to the marginalized fat person I was. Tears fill my eyes and my heart races with anxiety when I think of it.

The DS is such an incredible gift but for me it will not last forever.

Well, damn, but this is a depressing post.

Sorry.
 
I’m sorry this is happening.

What I would do is log everything that goes in my mouth. See where I was eating incorrectly (that’s assuming I was) and adjust from there.
 
Hi Clematis and welcome back!

First, you are the same person, deserving of respect and positive treatment, regardless of size! Sounds to me like you are judging yourself harshly and then self-sabotaging, which is where some counseling might be helpful. These are stressful times. Be nice to you!

Sorry you are experiencing this. Also, please make sure your DS dietary needs are being met (protein, fat, vitamins), because you really can't be certain how much you are or are not absorbing.
 
I’ve always thought of that story when I see people feeling like they failed with the DS. The good thing is we are now more like normal people, for whom adherence to a high protein, low carb diet will work.
 
Thank you, all. I know there are no easy answers other than strict food management. Making the post was an act of catharsis in a way: I typed it out, owned it, mourned the loss and now have to walk on in my new normal. I just pray I can level out at just chubby and the cholesterol does not go higher. Regardless, I am grateful for the 5 years of success I have had.
 
It’s been a while since I posted. I had DS exactly 5 years ago, lost all my weight in less than a year, high cholesterol and elevated glucose vanished. I had a lower body lift 18 months out. I have no words to describe the miracle of DS. I have been absolutely overjoyed with the happiest years of my life.

Nearly a year ago, though, my weight slowly begun to rise. without a change in my eating habits. Nothing too dramatic at first: 5 pounds. I wasn’t too worried. Then in the early part of this year I was startled when one day my floating soft serve ice cream kinda poop was firmly-formed and sunk in the toilet. At first that was only once a week or two, then several times a week and now mostly all the time. My weight rapidly rose and I am now more than 25 pounds over where I was and where I’d like to be. BMI is 25 bordering on 26. (I’ve shrunk an inch with age which I refuse to acknowledge or my BMI would be even higher.) I still appear to be gaining 2-3 pounds a month. I have a closet full of new clothes in size 4 or XS, most of which I can now no longer wear. I bought a new coat last week and had to get L for it to zip around my hips. I was so embarrassed, when I got home I cut the size label out at the neck for fear someone would see it.

I usually have blood work done in May and November. Because of Covid I skipped May and just got my November results: cholesterol is up to 219 from 167. (I am unable to take statins as I am one of those who developed dementia, liver damage and every other bad side effect from them.)

Sinking firm poop and rising cholesterol tell me I have hypertrophy of the bowel: my intestines have adapted to absorb fats again.

Yeah, I certainly had heard about this phenomenon but of course I never thought it would happen to ME.

People who have known me from my fat days say nothing but I see them surreptitiously glance at my hips and thighs and quickly look away. People I have met since the DS who believe I have always been not just thin, but lanky skinny have made jokes about "Covid weight". I am so deeply ashamed.

My only remedy at this point is strict dieting and even that won’t help my cholesterol much. Hey, if I was any good at dieting I wouldn't have needed a DS. I wake with dieting determination but that evaporates by lunchtime. I am very active and hike 8-12 miles a day. Yes, every morning. There’s not much more I can do on the exercise front besides push myself from the table, not one of my better skills.

I am utterly terrified I will revert to the marginalized fat person I was. Tears fill my eyes and my heart races with anxiety when I think of it.

The DS is such an incredible gift but for me it will not last forever.

Well, damn, but this is a depressing post.

Sorry.
Hey you !! We were DS'd around the same time I believe. Damn girl you are so hard on yourself. I have my own issues. I haven't gained any weight but I've been horrible with healthy living. We are our own worst enemy. I hate how I look. I have boobs hanging like rocks in socks and an apron of fatty skin around my middle. I have more skin Chin's than a Chinese phone book. My thighs sag and sway like my mother's dinning room window treatments. I believed when I went under the knife that life would be perfect if I just wasn't FAT. Not so much. Seems this life thing is so so much more complicated. So glad we have this forum to connect though. Chin up buttercup. This too shall pass. Give yourself permission to screw up and be human.
 
Hey you !! We were DS'd around the same time I believe. Damn girl you are so hard on yourself. I have my own issues. I haven't gained any weight but I've been horrible with healthy living. We are our own worst enemy. I hate how I look. I have boobs hanging like rocks in socks and an apron of fatty skin around my middle. I have more skin Chin's than a Chinese phone book. My thighs sag and sway like my mother's dinning room window treatments. I believed when I went under the knife that life would be perfect if I just wasn't FAT. Not so much. Seems this life thing is so so much more complicated. So glad we have this forum to connect though. Chin up buttercup. This too shall pass. Give yourself permission to screw up and be human.
I never lost what you lost though. I went from about 300lbs to 155 and stayed there...
 
Hey you !! We were DS'd around the same time I believe. Damn girl you are so hard on yourself. I have my own issues. I haven't gained any weight but I've been horrible with healthy living. We are our own worst enemy. I hate how I look. I have boobs hanging like rocks in socks and an apron of fatty skin around my middle. I have more skin Chin's than a Chinese phone book. My thighs sag and sway like my mother's dinning room window treatments. I believed when I went under the knife that life would be perfect if I just wasn't FAT. Not so much. Seems this life thing is so so much more complicated. So glad we have this forum to connect though. Chin up buttercup. This too shall pass. Give yourself permission to screw up and be human.
Yeah, it’s not the weigh loss but what it leaves behind. And most of us just have to live with it and accept it, doing nothing for our self esteem, especially when looking at ourselves. But remember, we are own worst enemy.
 

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