Cross Cultural Sensitivity, or not

[MsVee]

I always thought people were bigoted or prejudiced because they didn’t know any better. I was raised to believe that if we focused more on our similarities than our differences we would be less judgmental of each other and ultimately find common ground.

Growing up a minority on Long Island’s north shore I tried to learn as much as I could about other cultures and to share information about mine. My Father was born in the Bahamas and emigrated in the 40’s. My Mother was born in Inman, SC ( Spartanburg County). They came from different backgrounds but respected each other enough to learn and honor their cultural differences.

My Father was an introvert and cautious by nature. My Mother thought the definition of a stranger was “ a friend you haven’t met yet”. She was always friendly and open and rarely if ever let someone’s bad behavior or unkind remark bother her.

In high school I wanted to be a cultural anthropologist. After living through the Trump era I am afraid of what is out there. I dont know if we as a society became less intelligent or if it was just more acceptable to share your bigotry. Bigots were suddenly admired for being “honest”. It was suddenly ok to voice racial bias’. Everyone was tired of being politically correct. Let’s ignore politics for a moment are we tired of being correct? Are we tired of judging people by their actions instead of gender, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or economic status? What happened to us?

I am sorry I am rambling. I guess this is what happens when you spend to much time being COVID cautious.

 

[k9ophile]

I guess I didn't word things very well.

I’m all for celebrating holidays that are “not mine,” IF they are “celebrateable“ holidays or if they don’t strongly offend my values. What the person I was quoting was trying to say was instead of randomly slapping a “Happy” in front of the name of the holiday, we should at least have an idea what the day is about.

If someone yells out “Happy Pearl Harbor Day!” I have to HOPE that they’re just clueless, not hateful. And on “Confederate Heroes Day,” I’m just laying low. And Tennessee? In July? I’m not wishing anyone a “Happy Nathan Bedford Forrest Day.” (For those not married to Civil War buffs, Forrest was a Confederate general, he led a group that murdered hundreds of CAPTURED AND IN CUSTODY Union soldiers, Black and White. He was the ORIGINAL KKK Grand Wizard and ran a successful slave trading business.) I just can’t add “happy” to his name.

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FWIW, in my years of living in TN, I have never heard anyone wishing anyone Happy Nathan Bedford Forest Day*. I'm not aware that a day for him exists. I do know and applaud the efforts to remove that gawd-awful statue of him on I-65 as well as his bust in the TN state capitol building.

*I'm assuming you made this up to make a good point about honoring those who should be relegated to footnotes in our history. If not, trust that as much as I like living here, I will never celebrate NBF Day. Nor will I associate with anyone who idolizes him. Finally, if there is such a day, it sadly does not surprise me. White supremacists were always an abstract for me until I met one.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I always thought people were bigoted or prejudiced because they didn’t know any better. I was raised to believe that if we focused more on our similarities than our differences we would be less judgmental of each other and ultimately find common ground.

Growing up a minority on Long Island’s north shore I tried to learn as much as I could about other cultures and to share information about mine. My Father was born in the Bahamas and emigrated in the 40’s. My Mother was born in Inman, SC ( Spartanburg County). They came from different backgrounds but respected each other enough to learn and honor their cultural differences.

My Father was an introvert and cautious by nature. My Mother thought the definition of a stranger was “ a friend you haven’t met yet”. She was always friendly and open and rarely if ever let someone’s bad behavior or unkind remark bother her.

In high school I wanted to be a cultural anthropologist. After living through the Trump era I am afraid of what is out there. I dont know if we as a society became less intelligent or if it was just more acceptable to share your bigotry. Bigots were suddenly admired for being “honest”. It was suddenly ok to voice racial bias’. Everyone was tired of being politically correct. Let’s ignore politics for a moment are we tired of being correct? Are we tired of judging people by their actions instead of gender, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or economic status? What happened to us?

I am sorry I am rambling. I guess this is what happens when you spend to much time being COVID cautious.

MiniSue was ALMOST born at Vanderbilt, so I occasionally pay attention to such things. (AND, at Ft. Campbell, Ky, MrSue worked for a Lt. NBF Shoaf, now a TN multimillionaire who goes by the name Forrest Shoaf.) That holiday IS on its way out. But it still technically exists. As does, I think, Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park.

But then, Columbus Day? And all the City of Columbuses that exist? Not sure how much we can UNdo the past. Or if we want/need to.

 

[k9ophile]

Gov. Bill Lee will no longer have to proclaim Nathan Bedford Forrest Day in Tennessee now that both chambers of the legislature have passed a bill releasing him from the requirement.

Bill Lee will no longer proclaim Nathan Bedford Forrest Day (tennessean.com)

Spiky Bugger OMG. I humbly stand corrected. I seriously thought you were being facetious. Not that you're as big of a smart-ass as I am. I just could not believe such a day could exist.

MiniSue was ALMOST born at Vanderbilt, so I occasionally pay attention to such things. (AND, at Ft. Campbell, Ky, MrSue worked for a Lt. NBF Shoaf, now a TN multimillionaire who gies by the name Forrest Shoaf.) That holiday IS on its way out. But it still technically exists. As does, I think, Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park.

But then, Columbus Day? And all the City of Columbuses that exist? Not sure how much we can UNdo the past. Or if we want/need to.

Apparently, there really is Nathan Bedford Forrest day. I seriously thought you were being facetious. I guess the good news is that the TN legislature has passed something that says the governor will not be required to pass a proclamation for that day.

I had some really good references on this post when I wrote it the first time. Then I got a screaming ransom ware pop-up on my PC. I'm now on my phone. I don't know how to copy & paste or insert links while on my phone.

I guess I should know better than to think that you're as much of a smart-ass as I am. One would think after all this time in the south, I'd realize how revered the Confederacy still is. Reality hurts sometimes.

Maybe my occasional forays into a Pollyanna mind set is my balm.

ETA It looks like parts of my original reply were saved. Someday I'll understand more about technology, but it's not gonna happen anytime soon.

 

[MsVee]

I am amazed at the things celebrated in this country. I feel like I learn so much from reading Sue’s posts. I know as we evolve as a nation that things we celebrated in the past are sometimes an embarrassment now. As we know better we must do better.

I don’t think we should white wash our history but examine it acknowledge where we went wrong and learn from it. Things I thought were so important at 16 seem trivial to me now. Behavior and attitudes I thought were appropriate then embarrass me know but I know that those experiences helped me become the person I am today.
If we do not acknowledge our history are we setting ourselves up to repeat it?

 

[Larra]

Now Spiky, speaking only for myself, that's not what I meant! Of course it's great when people understand the significance of someone else's celebration or holy day, and there are some things no one should "celebrate". I'm only saying that 1) I don't take offense if the person is well meaning, even if not well informed, and 2) we need more happiness and joy in the world.
Remember the year some newspaper in New York ran sale ads for the Passover ham? I'm sure there was someone out there who took offense, but I thought it was hilarious.

 

[k9ophile]

I am amazed at the things celebrated in this country. I feel like I learn so much from reading Sue’s posts. I know as we evolve as a nation that things we celebrated in the past are sometimes an embarrassment now. As we know better we must do better.

I don’t think we should white wash our history but examine it acknowledge where we went wrong and learn from it. Things I thought were so important at 16 seem trivial to me now. Behavior and attitudes I thought were appropriate then embarrass me know but I know that those experiences helped me become the person I am today.
If we do not acknowledge our history are we setting ourselves up to repeat it?

Wait until you reach seventy. I find quite a few things less relevant than when I was in my 40's or 50's. Other things I couldn't even begin to imagine have become important.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Now Spiky, speaking only for myself, that's not what I meant! Of course it's great when people understand the significance of someone else's celebration or holy day, and there are some things no one should "celebrate". I'm only saying that 1) I don't take offense if the person is well meaning, even if not well informed, and 2) we need more happiness and joy in the world.
Remember the year some newspaper in New York ran sale ads for the Passover ham? I'm sure there was someone out there who took offense, but I thought it was hilarious.

I screwed that up, too?

Full disclosure…Queen of Lomotil AND oxycodone, Cat Sitter (for demanding geriatric feline ) reporting for duty. I should be surprised if ANYTHING comes out making sense.

AND, you’re just nicer than I am.

Also, I’m pretty sure I'm far snarkier than k9ophile.

 

[k9ophile]

Also, I’m pretty sure I'm far snarkier than k9ophile.

Well, you do a have a few years on me. What I lack in experience, I make do with enthusiasm.

 

[southernlady]

I got an ad from a company advertising their “Happy” Memorial Day sale. Now anyone with a lick of sense and knowledge of why we observe Memorial Day would know that happy should not be part of that. Apparently someone in the advertising department had a brain fart. What I did was email them back and explain that the use of the word happy was inappropriate for the holiday. That is was a day of remembrance not a day of celebration in spite of what people have done to it. I told them that to call it happy was an insult to every veteran who lost a buddy, to every family who lost a son/daughter/father/mother. They emailed back and apologized saying they’d be more careful in the future.

I didn’t get ugly or rant. I did assume (and apparently correctly) that they were thinking of the beginning of summer/picnic type celebrations going on the same day.

And while I don’t understand some, I’m willing to learn and react as appropriately as possible. If it is a happy occasion, the happy it is. But somber occasions, don’t need the happy.