Am i the only one single on this board?

[Charris]

Anyone else single? By single I mean not married or not in a monogamist committed relationship working towards marriage. I have had a few offers but feel my life is to chaotic right now to try and add finding time to spend time with a man and the main reason is they haven't been my type. Last week I had 7 doctors appointments of my own. Then I got Ms. pregnant to take care of. But I'm starting to kind of feel lonely.

Mr is still around but, after he treated me the way he did during my surgery and after surgery, the love is not there. I'm sure he is going to start getting it elsewhere since he hasn't gotten none in 6 months. Even on New Years. My stomach started hurting. lol

A couple of weeks ago, I had asked Kelly about the singles section on PB. She said it was dead and I could be moderator if I wanted and revive the board. But that's not what I want. I always had to be the fattest ass in the relationship because the next thing I know he and I would be fighting over the last pork chop. I know its shallow but everyone has their preference.

Where can I go find myself a chubby chaser? Anyone got a fine handsome single God fearing, brother, uncle, nephew, pool boy, friend, friend of a friend? Anyone know of a website where men are looking for plus size women?

 

[cajungirl]

I'm single (divorced) but I don't want a man. I have met a couple of guys that are friends and enjoy going out sometimes. I just don't want to be in a relationship any time soon.

My boys are still young and it takes most of my time to work full time, taxi them to their events and keep the house somewhat clean plus cook, laundry, you get the picture.

Adding someone else to everything going on just isn't feasible for me. And I'm picky, super picky and just will not feel like I'm settling just for the sake of having someone.

As for finding someone have you tried any of the online dating sites? Are there meet ups in your area of things you enjoy doing.? That was recommended to me but when I Goggle local meet ups everything is political meet ups...not what I'd be looking for in a relationship.

Edited for some serious typos.

 

[Cello]

I'm single. I was engaged and trying to get pregnant in my late 30s when I had an emergency hysterectomy -- and ya know... ever since then I have a greatly diminished sense of urgency about the whole thing.

My hierarchy of relationships looks like this: The right relationship is the ideal. Higher on the index than being single. Being single is, however, vastly better than being in a the wrong relationship. So here I am...single. LOL. Honestly, haven't had the energy since my revision to add a new relationship to the mix. Rekindled an old relationship for awhile last year but, meh. So I'm... biding... my...time.

You guys have the plus size dance stuff in NYC too right? Google BBW dances and you'll have yourself a buffet of brothers for Mr. Right Now... whether they fit the rest of your criteria? Let us know!

 

[Charris]

I'm single. I was engaged and trying to get pregnant in my late 30s when I had an emergency hysterectomy -- and ya know... ever since then I have a greatly diminished sense of urgency about the whole thing.

My hierarchy of relationships looks like this: The right relationship is the ideal. Higher on the index than being single. Being single is, however, vastly better than being in a the wrong relationship. So here I am...single. LOL. Honestly, haven't had the energy since my revision to add a new relationship to the mix. Rekindled an old relationship for awhile last year but, meh. So I'm... biding... my...time.

You guys have the plus size dance stuff in NYC too right? Google BBW dances and you'll have yourself a buffet of brothers for Mr. Right Now... whether they fit the rest of your criteria? Let us know!

Cello
Get me all excited for nothing. girlfriend I am in AZ. Men back east or in the South seem to love me. My problem is I cant leave AZ for another 4 years. Well I can but it would be crazy to do so since I will then be able to retire then.

 

[Cello]

Why did I think you were in NYC???? Sorrrrrryyyyyy......

Road trip to L.A.? In thin obsessed la la land we have club curves and club bounce (if memory serves).

OK, my fallback advice is to get your tube out before you start dating.. pleeeease.

 

[Charris]

Why did I think you were in NYC???? Sorrrrrryyyyyy......

Road trip to L.A.? In thin obsessed la la land we have club curves and club bounce (if memory serves).

OK, my fallback advice is to get your tube out before you start dating.. pleeeease.

K TUBE OUT FIRST

 

[Cello]

^^^Bueno!^^^

 

[conceit]

I am single. I wanted to talk about body image issues post DS and dating. Ugh, I had a break up earlier this year though it had nothing to do with my body. I am just so jaded with how superficial people are, in general. Even post DS, we deal with loose skin, stretch marks and so on. Most guys my age group have the depth of a puddle. In theory, I know that my body is beautiful in any form. And at the same time, I fear finding it difficult to find someone body positive like my ex, for example. It's really very hard. And, I am not looking for a chubby chaser (which hopefully won't apply post DS lol), because these guys fetishize fat bodies. I don't want to be someone's fetish. But, there are guys who love bigger women without loving them specifically because they're big.

There are good men out there, who really are attracted to women of all sizes, but they are notoriously hard to find. I already feel self-conscious about my stretch marks, so I hope the loose skin (which is far preferable to the extra weight) won't cause me extra issues with how I view my own desireability. I feel so hypocritical because I talk to young people about body acceptance all the time, and I do accept and respect my body how it is. But, I still worry about how my body will be perceived by a significant other esp after the surgery. I know I'll be thinner, but the battle scars from a weight loss journey would still be there. I am unwilling to settle for less than total and loving acceptance of my body. Yet, I know how rare that is. Not to sound melodramatic, but I am still reeling from a very intense break up, and sometimes I feel so discouraged about finding someone body positive (among other things), I just feel like giving up.

When you do an Okcupid search, most turn with aversion to fatness. :/ I would love to hear from you guys. I just feel so ****** jaded right now. Sorry, I wish my post had been more uplifting.

Charris, you seem like a wonderful woman, and I wish you a lot of success and happiness in life, including your love life of course

 

[Cello]

Charity starts at home, my sweet (poetic) conceit.

Work on finding YOUR center, that's your point of attraction for everything. You are not looking FOR the puddle-deep dude so stop looking AT him. In other words, adjust your focus.

Confidence an a wonderful relationship with ourselves is a goal I use. Some internal work on really embracing the whole package is the road to get there.

Did you see Tabitha's post and the replies dealing with dating/body image? I'm going to post this from my phone and add a link momentarily.
http://bariatricfacts.org/threads/coming-to-you-all-for-support-hope-you-understand.264/
Read that thread too!

 

[Tabitha]

I am single. Filed for divorce in Sept. It is a whole new world to me. I got married at 18, and being single is new to me. I am 29(birthday jan 7th) and am struggling with getting older, losing weight, AND being single. It is a lot of changes.
I also am extremely jealous, possessive, and a Christian who believes in traditional values when it comes to men. I believe that men should be a gentlemen and the head of the household. Chivalry is not dead to me, and I want to be courted. I am not a fan of the de-masculization of men that is so prevalent. Oh, and I am celibate until I find my soul mate and remarry. HAHAHAHA.
I wish myself luck...I am going to need it!

 

[Tabitha]

Buahaha I got mentioned!! I feel like I have made it now somehow...LOL.

 

[Cello]

I am single. Filed for divorce in Sept. It is a whole new world to me. I got married at 18, and being single is new to me. I am 29(birthday jan 7th) and am struggling with getting older, losing weight, AND being single. It is a lot of changes.
I also am extremely jealous, possessive, and a Christian who believes in traditional values when it comes to men. I believe that men should be a gentlemen and the head of the household. Chivalry is not dead to me, and I want to be courted. I am not a fan of the de-masculization of men that is so prevalent. Oh, and I am celibate until I find my soul mate and remarry. HAHAHAHA.
I wish myself luck...I am going to need it!

You have been married your entire adult life? You're not kidding you're going through a lot of changes. It's a lot but it's also fantastic to have SO MUCH opportunity to create your life going forward. I hope you find exactly what you are looking for. You sound crystal clear on this front.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I'm single and I know women of all sizes have success finding a man. not me, but other women!

I want to move this out of a surgery forum since it's not specific to DS - Charris, I hope you would you be OK with it in The Lounge for now, anyway.

long term we could also have a separate area for Singles or whatever ends up making sense.

 

[Charris]

I'm single and I know women of all sizes have success finding a man. not me, but other women!

I want to move this out of a surgery forum since it's not specific to DS - Charris, I hope you would you be OK with it in The Lounge for now, anyway.

long term we could also have a separate area for Singles or whatever ends up making sense.

If that's where it belongs and people who were in it have access. I probably should be mindful as to where I start posts and appropriateness.

 

[southernlady]

If that's where it belongs and people who were in it have access. I probably should be mindful as to where I start posts and appropriateness.

Mindful...well sometimes WE aren't even sure where a post belongs...

I'm thinking at some point maybe having a Relationships forum with subforums for Singles/Marrieds, etc...But it's a bit early for that. Right now it seems to be best here. Everyone registered can read The Lounge. So you aren't hiding in a corner...they will find you here.