shann
Now an Angel in heaven
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2014
- Messages
- 304
Today is my four year surgiversary. The past four years have been the most transformative ones of my life.
I've lost 175 pounds, yes; but I've lost and gained so much more.
I lost high blood pressure.
I lost diabetes.
I lost high cholesterol.
I lost my timidity.
I lost willingness to accept unhappiness and the status quo.
I lost my belief that I will die early.
I lost seat belt extenders, Lane Bryant, and shapeless clothes.
I gained self-esteem.
I gained hanging skin that makes me uncomfortable with my nakedness.
I gained health.
I gained the confidence to be fully present in my life.
I quit my job last year, not willing to be unhappy anymore. I've lost a lot of people of the years, my parents, my uncle; and I won't take chances in wasting whatever time I have. Life's too short.
My life is not perfect, and I am not perfect. I fall and then I restart-- too many carbs, miss some of my pills, don't drink enough. I start my day off with protein coffee and then I eat whatever I feel like eating, still usually small portions. I always focus on protein with my meals, but I have some of everything. I can't eat raw food at all anymore, no raw veggies or salad. I can eat a few bites of bread if it's covered with butter or half a sandwich with lots of fat and protein. I eat dessert but I usually can't finish it (and the days that I do choose to have it I'm usually in the bathroom 3-4 times that night). I know bounceback happens and I'm vigilant in watching but so far I haven't had any so I just keep on going as I am. I weigh and record each month. If I start to regain, I'll reassess how I eat.
Weight:
Before 297
Year 1 146
Year 2 126
Year 3 131
Year 4 124
Before face 2002:
Before 2009:
1 year out beach trip
2 years out cruise:
3 years out:
This year:
I've lost 175 pounds, yes; but I've lost and gained so much more.
I lost high blood pressure.
I lost diabetes.
I lost high cholesterol.
I lost my timidity.
I lost willingness to accept unhappiness and the status quo.
I lost my belief that I will die early.
I lost seat belt extenders, Lane Bryant, and shapeless clothes.
I gained self-esteem.
I gained hanging skin that makes me uncomfortable with my nakedness.
I gained health.
I gained the confidence to be fully present in my life.
I quit my job last year, not willing to be unhappy anymore. I've lost a lot of people of the years, my parents, my uncle; and I won't take chances in wasting whatever time I have. Life's too short.
My life is not perfect, and I am not perfect. I fall and then I restart-- too many carbs, miss some of my pills, don't drink enough. I start my day off with protein coffee and then I eat whatever I feel like eating, still usually small portions. I always focus on protein with my meals, but I have some of everything. I can't eat raw food at all anymore, no raw veggies or salad. I can eat a few bites of bread if it's covered with butter or half a sandwich with lots of fat and protein. I eat dessert but I usually can't finish it (and the days that I do choose to have it I'm usually in the bathroom 3-4 times that night). I know bounceback happens and I'm vigilant in watching but so far I haven't had any so I just keep on going as I am. I weigh and record each month. If I start to regain, I'll reassess how I eat.
Weight:
Before 297
Year 1 146
Year 2 126
Year 3 131
Year 4 124
Before face 2002:
Before 2009:
1 year out beach trip
2 years out cruise:
3 years out:
This year:
