Ainu
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2017
- Messages
- 216
The day is finally upon me and it's suddenly hitting me how terrified I am. Moving into the new house really distracted me from the reality of the procedure but I can't ignore it anymore.
I wonder if it's right for me. If I'll regret having it done. I try and remember everyone saying how worth it it is once the havheal is over. I still have fears of vitamin deficiencies, diarrhea, weakness, sickness, etc.
I try and remind myself of the constant pain I'm in from being fat, how I can't have sex with my fiance because we're both too fat. I remind myself that I can't go for long walks because of my feet and back. I don't like going to social events because I feel like a boulder. I can't find clothes that fit me and look nice. I can't buckle the seat belt in some of the busses.
I try and remind myself of all of this but I'm still freaking terrified.
I wonder if it's right for me. If I'll regret having it done. I try and remember everyone saying how worth it it is once the havheal is over. I still have fears of vitamin deficiencies, diarrhea, weakness, sickness, etc.
I try and remind myself of the constant pain I'm in from being fat, how I can't have sex with my fiance because we're both too fat. I remind myself that I can't go for long walks because of my feet and back. I don't like going to social events because I feel like a boulder. I can't find clothes that fit me and look nice. I can't buckle the seat belt in some of the busses.
I try and remind myself of all of this but I'm still freaking terrified.