Ya know
@DeeDeeDS brings up two really interesting points- women say she looks emaciated and men say she looks great, and also that she's a size medium or 8-10 and people are saying she's too thin. Would ANYONE ever say think that about a woman walking down the street who wears a size medium? Never ever. It goes to show that it's really about how they saw us before and that it goes against their perception of what we "should" be (ie- the jolly fat person or some other stereotype).
As for the men's vs. women's opinion thing, to me, it kinda shows that sometimes those comments are driven by jealousy or some other ulterior motive, something that people (women in particular) may not even realize they feel, but something deep down below the surface. That's my take on it.
Interesting point Lauren. Also interesting in my case is the fact that my daughters, grandchildren, and husband do not think I am too thin. In other words, the ones who have been the closest to me through all those overweight years, as well as by my side for the last two, use words like "just right" and "beautiful" and "healthy" to describe me. This is because they see the "whole picture" as well as a weight change.
My daughters were very concerned when I was so ill a few months ago, vomiting everything I ate. The oldest remarked that she thought I did look unhealthy, my color was bad, my face rather drawn. She did not equate it with my weight loss, but chalked it up to my being "sick as hell." Now that I am well again, my color is good, my face has fleshed out to normal, my family think I look great. However, what they are most happy about is that they have an active living mother again, instead of a depressed hermit too emotionally and physically ill to enjoy life with them.
Although a few people have made negative remarks, most of the friends and family in my life have been very supportive and enthusiastic. For me it has not been just about weight loss. I had lost my way in life. I had stopped participating in the church I love. I did not go out to shop. I avoided social events and activities with friends. I missed many weddings, baby showers, high school graduations, and grandchildren's school events. If you wanted to see me, you had to come to my house, and even then I didn't always open the door to visits. My only joy in life was my grandchildren, and my desire to watch them grow up became the catalyst that brought me to my DS decision and ultimately to my future.
In my opinion we must always balance the negative remarks and reactions of others, with the positive changes and results that truly affect our life. That goes for any decision in our lives. There will always be those who have something to say about our choice of spouse, job, house, number of children, hairstyle, eating habits...etc. Words and opinions die on the wind. Our decisions become part of who we are and the future direction of our lives.
A great man once said, "You don't know me; you never knew my heart. No man knows my history."
