I can relate!
First story:
I stood outside a small boutique-type store in a small shopping area. FINALLY, I wandered in and the owner asked if she could help. I said, “I don’t know…but, I just lost over 100 pounds and don’t know if I fit in anything here.“ She started laughing, and replied, “Of course you do!” That’s how I met Not Your Daughter’s Jeans. And a very nice pantsuit.
Second story:
One night, while I was asleep, my husband’s arm landed on my hip as he sat bolt upright and yelled something unintelligible. It seemed that my husband didn’t know I HAD a hip bone and thought some stranger was in his bed! At least he responded appropriately.
(Your face looks SO familiar. I wonder if we’ve ever met!)