T minus 2 days

[Brandy]

Well, I am two days out. Tomorrow I fly to San Diego then drive to Mexicali for my DS with Dr. Ungson on Wednesday.

I’m happy we decided to simplify everything and not combine it with a vacation. The low carb diet for the last month has not been too bad, but this 5 day liquid diet has thrown me off. This diet is chamomile tea, broth, sugar free Jell-O and a cup or two of kefir. For those of you whom have had colonoscopies -- you know that moment during the prep when you say to yourself “There has to be a better way. Did all of this need to happen in an hours’ time span?” Well, I think five day liquid pre-surgery diet is the slower way I was thinking about and it sucks worse. Next time I will just be thankful for the big miracle of the pre-colonoscopy drink.

Typically I get about 80% organized early and then go back and a last pass towards the end of a project. This strategy has not worked so well this time because I don’t have my brain right now. It checked out after getting some GRAPE JUICE!!! Carbs!! SUGUAR!! WOOOOOO HoooOOOOOoo, this morning. Three weeks of less than 20 carbs a day and suddenly 8 oz of grape juice, which is 42 g carbs. I feel drunk.

Advice #1: Get organized to the point of having your bags semi packed before the 5 day liquid diet.

I had planned to write about the last month of prep and share my to-do lists, but again, no brain. At least I am also feeling too stoned to get nervous.

 

[Larra]

Your big day is almost here. Best wishes for a safe and successful surgery.

 

[Terri]

Good Luck! Please have someone update us!

 

[hilary1617]

Wishing you all the best. Not sure if you're going to want this advice after 5 days of liquids, but please make sure you keep those liquids coming after surgery. Can't wait to hear about your success!!! Hoping for an uneventful procedure and smooth recovery.

 

[JackieOnLine]

we are all pulling for an uneventful surgery!!

 

[newanatomy]

Best of luck to you! Let us know asap after surgery how you are doing.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Any word yet?

 

[Brandy]

I'm back, baby!!! And doing well.

Sorry for no 'on the road' updates, I somehow managed to mess up my links/password list and didn't have the brain to try and sort it out. (lesson #1: if you buy new electronics before your surgery, do a cold boot practice test.)

Mexicali Bariatric Center was great. They cleaned so much that it was annoying. I would say they were unbelievably quick at answering the call button (30 seconds tops) but the beauty of the system set up by the bariatric staff is that generally I had what I needed before I knew I needed it.

Putting the last week's surgery and recovery into a few sentences is impossible. There were few times when I was in pain but there were also few times when I was comfortable and so it wore on me. If there was one constant it would have to be boredom, which all things considered, isn't bad at all. I feel like my body and I don't know how to communicate any longer and about half the things we each try, not only don't work, but screw the other side up. I'm never sure when I'm thirsty, hungry, in pain or feeling nausea. At one time I had to laugh at my self when I was sure I was feeling pre-menstrual cramps, only I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago .

I have some questions that I will put in different threads. But mostly I am happily on the mend and really **$%%*! proud of myself for getting it done.

 

[hilary1617]

Congratulations! Hoping for fast healing! Please remember to stay hydrated!!!!

 

[newanatomy]

So happy you are on the way to better health! Rock on!
As for the menstrual cramp thing . . . I had a total hysterectomy in 2008. I still get woken up by cramps about 3 times per week, I am 7 months post DS. I am just more "crampy" since my DS.

 

[Terri]

Glad everything went well. Hoping your recovery is smooth as well.

 

[JackieOnLine]

glad you are back & on the mend.

what does Freddled Gruntbuggly mean?

Mexicali Bariatric Center was great. They cleaned so much that it was annoying.

isn't that the truth? I wanted to say, please don't mop my room again today I haven't had a chance to get it dirty!

did you taste the broth?! only wish I could have had more than a sip...

 

[Brandy]

Vogon Poetry, From Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe:

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning", four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine--in a desperate attempt to save life itself-leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee
That mordiously hath bitled out
Its earted jurtles
Into a rancid festering
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts
And living glupules frart and slipulate
Like jowling meated liverslime
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon
See if I don't.

 

[jillc]

@Brandy I knew it sounded familiar. Vogon poetry....
But at least we know that the answer to the universe is 42. Been ages since I've read it...