So how did my dumbass not know of Dr K's FB discussion group?

[DSRIGGS]

What site? I must not read it regularly ...

I forget the name of the one that I was at where things can get a little wild. I just found Dr K's Duodenal Switch group thanks to Liz and joined it. There are some ignorant people there but it is much more tame.

A lady this morning was talking about how DS people shouldant act like their surgery was superior and that choice of surgery was a personal thing. I tried reasoning with her with facts like the DS has the best LONG TERM EWL and comorbidity resolution rates, but she is trying to tell me that most issues that arise from the VSG and RnY are from noncompliance. SO I responded that I didn't know non compliance was the cause of severe and irreversible GERD from too small a sleeve, or stricture or dumping from a RnY GPB.

She also lumped the Hess method in their as arrogance as well to which I responded, after what I went through what kind of person would I be if I didn't try to push people towards a Hess DS. Yes a standard limb length DS can work but why take a chance and end up on either side of the coin.....lose to much an suffer health consequences or not lose enough and be less than pleased???

I guess I am just an arrogant Hess DS'r and the lady doesn't like statistical facts. If the RnY or VSG worked we would be touting it. It doesn't work like the DS so we tout the DS.

 

[duh_Mom]

Thanks @DianaCox - as they say in the south - Bless her heart. . .

 

[DianaCox]

I have waited a few days to comment further, for a couple of reasons.

@k9ophile: Of course it is her.

I dunno, I find Trump the megalomaniac to be anything but entertaining - I find him terrifying. This one, notsomuch, as the breadth of the damage she can do is considerably more limited, mostly to her own little playground/fiefdom and the people in it - but it is not zero.

The thing about megalomaniacs is, they don't think the rules apply to THEM, so you never know what they might do - they don't think the consequences apply to them either, so they allow their uncontrolled impulses to steer the ship, with sometimes terrible consequences not only to themselves, but to anyone who happens to be in their path of destruction. I learned that the hard way with my very real stalker a few years ago.

Based on what she said a couple of days ago in those now-deleted (but copied and saved) posts, she has some kind of insane paranoid fantasies about me, including claiming that I have been threatening to "legally destroy her life" for many years. If I wanted to do that (assuming I could), I would have done it a long time ago, don't you think? And if she actually had concerns, why would she be "poking the bear?" In any case, from what I've been told, she's apparently done a pretty good job of making a mess of her life over the last couple of years without any help from me (I will resist the temptation to post specifics here, but there are at least four serious life-altering consequences of her own behavior that I've heard about, after SHE has posted about them herself - NONE of which had anything to do with me).

And why would I be threatening her? I don't need a damned thing from her - other than for her to move on with the tatters of her life and stay out of mine. I have wanted nothing to do with her since SHE destroyed our former friendship almost two years ago with a prior insane outburst and inappropriate postings both about me and Dr. K, which resulted in her being banned from his FB group, the link to HER FB group being deleted from DSFacts.com, and ALMOST resulted in the link to this site being deleted from DSFacts.com as well, but for my intervention (and note that this site is still the FIRST one linked on his support page). Why she is obsessed with me (and bizarrely thinks I am obsessed with her), when I have not been in contact with her since then, is beyond me - but trying to figure out what is in the mind of an unstable person is a trip down a rabbit hole, and a waste of time - though it does inspire taking precautions.

And since I know she will read around her block of both Scott and me and see this (I am aware she was posting since this thread was started, after a prolonged absence, so I assume she is monitoring this thread) - it is not stalking to occasionally check publicly available sources such as LinkedIn (where the she uses her real name (that I know because she told me)) to ascertain where someone who has repeatedly made threats and false accusations against me at least claims to be living - it is being cautious. Especially if LinkedIn made the suggestion to click on a link to her in the first place - why do you suppose THAT would happen? Methinks she doth protest too much - and absolutely without justification.

Her vague and baseless threats that she knows "personal shit" about me are just plain ludicrous - and pathetic attempts to puff up her non-existent importance in my life. There is nothing she knows that many others don't already, and nothing I have to fear from her threatened disclosures.

I can only assume there is inappropriate medication and/or alcohol involved, as in the past (per her admissions), and/or some fresh new bitter disappointment in her life that has triggered this latest bizarre outburst. Mostly, I feel warily sorry for her, because she seems to be in a downhill spiral, and out of concern for someone whom I used to consider a friend. Schadenfreude has no part in this, both because I'm better off (i.e., ignored) when she isn't unbalanced by some unhappiness in her life, and because I actually still care enough about her to wish her well. But I am annoyed and just a bit concerned to know that once again, when something sets her off, she is displacing her anger and frustration by blaming me (and innocent people in my proximity), rather than herownself, for her problems. So I appreciate it when people let me know about it when she does things like this - forewarned is forearmed.

If she doesn't want this to be brought up again, here or elsewhere, perhaps she should stop making inappropriate, false and/or defamatory posts about me ANYWHERE - I have many friends who care about me, and who let me know when she does this, just like SHE did for me when we were still friends and my stalker was posting defamatory things about me where I couldn't see them directly. She has no moral high ground upon which to stand and object - she did the very same thing, for the same reasons. Only now SHE is the one making defamatory posts and threats.

And once again, I call for her to turn her FB group over to someone else, because IMO (worth what you paid for it) she is not fit to run it. She can and should continue to contribute to the group, because she often has useful information to share, but the group and she in particular need to be moderated by someone who doesn't have the volatile emotional issues that she does. That group used to be (and in some ways still is) one of the best of the DS FB groups, but many of the vets have left it due to her behavior, or have been kicked off for disagreeing with her. The disgraceful way she treats some people, especially newbies, in order to pound her chest and scare others into towing her line, is inexcusably over the top, even to those of us used to plain speaking and playing the bad cop.

And I commend the patience of the vets who stick with the group, trying to deflect and protect others from her attacks, despite their disagreement and disappointment expressed elsewhere with how the owner behaves.

 

[k9ophile]

I probably should have just sat on my fingers about the FB group. Yet I found it amusing that she would be guilty of deleting when she was so sanctimonious in her opinion of others who delete. I had a "reading account" somewhere else. She had gone on one her tirades about the number she had blocked so I jokingly said something like: Oooh, me next, me next. I knew I was going to bet blocked immediately, yet I couldn't resist. Sometimes my inner evil twin shows up to mess with people who are Pecksniffian's.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

"So a month or so ago I joined one of the FB groups that can get a bit crazy and somebody told me (yes you can say I told you so) that I would probably have some issues there. Well last night I did and may have told somebody to go fuck themselves (actually not sure if I posted that or deleted it, but I said some not overly kind things) and removed myself from the group. I don't take well to being threatened by unstable people."

Ahahaha - and it wasn't even me who told you so! I also didn't appreciate being dragged into that situation by name, on a group I've been banned from, where the rules of that group makes doing THAT a bannable offense, and it's done by the owner of the group who is apparently above her own law! In addition, she violated her own rule that deleting a thread* is verboten - and there was good information on the thread that there was no need to delete, even though the OP was either chased away for no reason or banned by the owner - the owner could have just deleted her OWN offensive posts without deleting the thread. There are many other posts started by people who have since been banned that were not deleted.

What is particularly bizarre is that I had nothing to do with your post, with your being in that group, and your post had nothing to do with either me or the owner of the group - just another incident in a long string of irrational behavior where this unstable person launches into utterly unprovoked attacks, including on me. I'm sorry that the fact that we talk to each other HERE ended up getting you broadsided with an utterly unwarranted attack, both based on the factual post you made answering the OP's question, and with unhinged paranoid accusations that your posts had anything to do with me. I wasn't even aware of the thread until many hours after the verbal diarrhetic eruption had occurred.

It really is a shame that a FB group that used to be the best source of information for DSers has been taken over by an unstable Trumpesque demagogue who feels free to insult, demean and defame people for no reason, to ban people based on her own warped biases, where there is no effective method of checks and balances because she owns the group, and which therefore could be deleted at any time for despotic and self-serving reasons. It is evident to pretty much everyone who has seen her rants that she should turn ownership the board over to others - but of course, she won't, because it makes her feel powerful and important.

I am so grateful that that situation does not exist here. There are multiple admins and ownership of the site is separate from the software (and to be clear, I have NO controlling role in any of it).

I lurk on Dr.K's board too - not a big fan of some of the advice given there, or the somewhat overbearing moderation on it, but at least Dr.K apparently owns it and has some say over what is and is not done on it. Since I don't post there, I can feel free to let him know what I disagree about, which I have done from time to time. And Dr.K may or may not agree with me, but at least I know he is open to hearing what I have to say.

* But not before it was copied ...

I've never been in that group and I know who you are talking about. Like watching an irate Donald Trump, except loaded on pills and booze, on a rant. In her case...and his...this is probably the best they have to offer. Sad. Really pathetically sad.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

I have waited a few days to comment further, for a couple of reasons.

@k9ophile: Of course it is her.

I dunno, I find Trump the megalomaniac to be anything but entertaining - I find him terrifying. This one, notsomuch, as the breadth of the damage she can do is considerably more limited, mostly to her own little playground/fiefdom and the people in it - but it is not zero.

The thing about megalomaniacs is, they don't think the rules apply to THEM, so you never know what they might do - they don't think the consequences apply to them either, so they allow their uncontrolled impulses to steer the ship, with sometimes terrible consequences not only to themselves, but to anyone who happens to be in their path of destruction. I learned that the hard way with my very real stalker a few years ago.

Based on what she said a couple of days ago in those now-deleted (but copied and saved) posts, she has some kind of insane paranoid fantasies about me, including claiming that I have been threatening to "legally destroy her life" for many years. If I wanted to do that (assuming I could), I would have done it a long time ago, don't you think? And if she actually had concerns, why would she be "poking the bear?" In any case, from what I've been told, she's apparently done a pretty good job of making a mess of her life over the last couple of years without any help from me (I will resist the temptation to post specifics here, but there are at least four serious life-altering consequences of her own behavior that I've heard about, after SHE has posted about them herself - NONE of which had anything to do with me).

And why would I be threatening her? I don't need a damned thing from her - other than for her to move on with the tatters of her life and stay out of mine. I have wanted nothing to do with her since SHE destroyed our former friendship almost two years ago with a prior insane outburst and inappropriate postings both about me and Dr. K, which resulted in her being banned from his FB group, the link to HER FB group being deleted from DSFacts.com, and ALMOST resulted in the link to this site being deleted from DSFacts.com as well, but for my intervention (and note that this site is still the FIRST one linked on his support page). Why she is obsessed with me (and bizarrely thinks I am obsessed with her), when I have not been in contact with her since then, is beyond me - but trying to figure out what is in the mind of an unstable person is a trip down a rabbit hole, and a waste of time - though it does inspire taking precautions.

And since I know she will read around her block of both Scott and me and see this (I am aware she was posting since this thread was started, after a prolonged absence, so I assume she is monitoring this thread) - it is not stalking to occasionally check publicly available sources such as LinkedIn (where the she uses her real name (that I know because she told me)) to ascertain where someone who has repeatedly made threats and false accusations against me at least claims to be living - it is being cautious. Especially if LinkedIn made the suggestion to click on a link to her in the first place - why do you suppose THAT would happen? Methinks she doth protest too much - and absolutely without justification.

Her vague and baseless threats that she knows "personal shit" about me are just plain ludicrous - and pathetic attempts to puff up her non-existent importance in my life. There is nothing she knows that many others don't already, and nothing I have to fear from her threatened disclosures.

I can only assume there is inappropriate medication and/or alcohol involved, as in the past (per her admissions), and/or some fresh new bitter disappointment in her life that has triggered this latest bizarre outburst. Mostly, I feel warily sorry for her, because she seems to be in a downhill spiral, and out of concern for someone whom I used to consider a friend. Schadenfreude has no part in this, both because I'm better off (i.e., ignored) when she isn't unbalanced by some unhappiness in her life, and because I actually still care enough about her to wish her well. But I am annoyed and just a bit concerned to know that once again, when something sets her off, she is displacing her anger and frustration by blaming me (and innocent people in my proximity), rather than herownself, for her problems. So I appreciate it when people let me know about it when she does things like this - forewarned is forearmed.

If she doesn't want this to be brought up again, here or elsewhere, perhaps she should stop making inappropriate, false and/or defamatory posts about me ANYWHERE - I have many friends who care about me, and who let me know when she does this, just like SHE did for me when we were still friends and my stalker was posting defamatory things about me where I couldn't see them directly. She has no moral high ground upon which to stand and object - she did the very same thing, for the same reasons. Only now SHE is the one making defamatory posts and threats.

And once again, I call for her to turn her FB group over to someone else, because IMO (worth what you paid for it) she is not fit to run it. She can and should continue to contribute to the group, because she often has useful information to share, but the group and she in particular need to be moderated by someone who doesn't have the volatile emotional issues that she does. That group used to be (and in some ways still is) one of the best of the DS FB groups, but many of the vets have left it due to her behavior, or have been kicked off for disagreeing with her. The disgraceful way she treats some people, especially newbies, in order to pound her chest and scare others into towing her line, is inexcusably over the top, even to those of us used to plain speaking and playing the bad cop.

And I commend the patience of the vets who stick with the group, trying to deflect and protect others from her attacks, despite their disagreement and disappointment expressed elsewhere with how the owner behaves.

Have you noticed? You seem to attract SOME people who, at first, try to worm their way into your favor...and then demand that the planet at large acknowledges that these losers are your equal or your better...and they never even bother to tell you that there's a competition?

You occasionally end up with certifiable losers who are upset that just because you have DECADES more education and experience, you actually make more money than they do. They resent your possessions and your "peer group," into which they could not sneak, btw, unless they were part of the housekeeping staff.

I get to exclude myself from that group because I don't covet your shit...or your responsibilites. (Mine are all I can handle.).

You may need fewer upwardly mobile new friends...lol

 

[DSRIGGS]

Have you noticed? You seem to attract SOME people who, at first, try to worm their way into your favor...and then demand that the planet at large acknowledges that these losers are your equal or your better...and they never even bother to tell you that there's a competition?

You occasionally end up with certifiable losers who are upset that just because you have DECADES more education and experience, you actually make more money than they do. They resent your possessions and your "peer group," into which they could not sneak, btw, unless they were part of the housekeeping staff.

I get to exclude myself from that group because I don't covet your shit...or your responsibilites. (Mine are all I can handle.).

You may need fewer upwardly mobile new friends...lol

I am just trying to stop from being downwardly mobile.

 

[Clematis]

I joined the FB group a while back but never posted precisely b/c the woman is viciously unbalanced. There is a contingent there who egg her on and delight when she constantly beheads, er bans, person after person for some trivial or non-existent infraction, and then bans whomever steps up to protest. The really sad thing is that to those investigating WLS, it makes it look like only crazy people (or people who accept and agree with crazy people) would have the DS. I no longer go to the FB group.

 

[DSRIGGS]

I joined the FB group a while back but never posted precisely b/c the woman is viciously unbalanced. There is a contingent there who egg her on and delight when she constantly beheads, er bans, person after person for some trivial or non-existent infraction, and then bans whomever steps up to protest. The really sad thing is that to those investigating WLS, it makes it look like only crazy people (or people who accept and agree with crazy people) would have the DS. I no longer go to the FB group.

Precisely why I left and went to Dr K's Duodenal Switch group. There are some poorly DS educated there, but enough good posters there to educate them.