Posts from another board

[Terri]

So if read unkind things said about people you like on another board what would you do? Tell them or not.

Also if bad things were being said about you would you want to know?

I saw some things of course now I can't get them out of my head. I feel if I don't say something I am kind of being dishonest.

None of this is info is life changing. Nothing like finding out someone you know is cheating on someone else you know.

I don't want to stir up unnecessary shit or seem like I am causing drama or acting like I am in high school by gossiping.

 

[newanatomy]

If they are barking on a public forum, I say spill it. If it is a private conversation, then no.

 

[k9ophile]

If I were to see unkind things about you, I would not tell you. What purpose would that serve? "Look at me! I'm your friend. I'm telling you what other people said." No, thanks. I saw some unkind things about someone I like and I defended her. I think that would bug the nasty person.

“What Other People Think of me is None of my Business” I happen to think this is true even if I think in some instances, I do want to know. However, in the final analysis, the only person's opinion I care about is mine.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

If it's about Diana or me, chances are we've heard it more than once already . I don't give a damn what miscellaneous people think of me. My loved ones and friends are different, of course, but yapping in cyberspace? I only care about that stuff if it involves the sharing of information that could be considered stalking or could be actionable in some way.

My general response to your question, though, is that I do NOT consider it the act of a friend to repeat nasty shit being spouted about me elsewhere. I would consider it an act of friendship to jump to my defense in the place where the spewing is taking place.

As for what you have seen, specifically, my advice is to make up your OWN mind based on your OWN interactions with the people about whom the yapping is being done. To do otherwise stoops to the level of junior high IMNSHO.

 

[bearmom]

If it's it just catty bs like "she is a bitchy know it all and has a face like a bulldog", then it's better not shared.

If the gossip is more of a slanderous nature, then something should be said/done.

 

[k9ophile]

My general response to your question, though, is that I do NOT consider it the act of a friend to repeat nasty shit being spouted about me elsewhere. I would consider it an act of friendship to jump to my defense in the place where the spewing is taking place.

Well said (since it's my thoughts stated differently) The rest is pretty good, too. Cyber yapping? BFD-not. Stalking & slandering? BFD for real.

 

[Elizabeth N.]

@Terri , something to think about: I have discovered in my decade on WLS boards (hard to believe it's been that long!) that some of them are some of the most incestuous, catty, fucking NUTSO places I've ever had the misfortune to encounter online.

I like a good flame war and I can be a catty bitch, so please don't think I am painting myself as saintly. But the sheer insane, stalking, whacked out shit I've seen go on in places like OH beggars description.

The dumb shit that filters back to me about what is supposedly "factual" about my life is fucking hilarious. There is a cadre of readers/lurkers on our FB group that just LOVE to yap about me (and about several other folks). You have to develop a thick skin and a sense of humor about it.

Anyhow, use great caution in deciding what to believe on any forum, but especially on WLS boards. Oh, and BEWARE whom you let into your 3d life from the Internet. I've made some magnificent friends and the vast majority of my social life is tied into cyberspace....But OMG have I had some experiences you don't want to have.

 

[KathyF]

I'm not surprised. In any forum I have been on there has always been conflicts and flaming. Heck, a few years ago I was researching vermicomposting (raising earthworms) and saw some spectacular flaming... over how to raise earthworms. Seriously.

 

[Terri]

Thanks everyone for responding.

I am kind of one of those mind my own business for the most part. It is very hard sometimes not to get caught up in the drama/pissing matches. Probably because I have a pretty routine, boring life. I like it but every once in a while my catty teenage side likes to come out and play.

Anyway I handled it the best way for me. My horse wasn't in the race, so it really wasn't my business.

 

[JackieOnLine]

I like a little gossip, sometimes...

 

[KathyF]

Well, it's been a long time, but if I remember correctly, someone would post a question that some perceived as stupid and reply with a snarky comment. Then it goes downhill from there. Basically personality conflicts. Or someone sells some worms and the buyer gets dead worms and they go back and forth on the forum.

 

[MsBatt]

Hey, serious gardeners get serious about worms!

*I* am not that serious. I'm a Darwinian gardener. Only the fittest plants survive 'round here.

 

[Spiky Bugger]

Wait? What about me?

I'm a snarky old bitch who took sides WITH a science-law-geeky brainiac AGAINST a sociopath who, after a while and even though some of the geniuses on these boards STILL haven't figured it out, a JUDGE did, and issued a restraining order and said many interesting things about the woman whose ENTIRE background story was fiction...and some of her buddies have been given proof and still want to be her friend. (The only claim about herself that MIGHT be a little truthful is that she has mad blow job skillz...but as she approaches MediCare age, she appeals to an ever shrinking demographic! Lots of young guys who generally enjoy such things get freaked out when the blow-er resembles their grandma.)

The Spanish saying for this translates to, "Tell me who you walk with and I'll tell you who you are."

So call me a science-law-geeky brainiac, although that would be WAY TO MUCH CREDIT on most of those counts!

Hth...

 

[DianaCox]

In sum, if it's just snarky stuff that couldn't actually hurt someone's reputation, let it be. But, if it is defamatory, I think you should ask the potentially defamed person if it matters to them.

I would ask, FOR MYSELF, if the comments relate to my veracity (because I'm a lawyer); my ethics, my skills as a lawyer; and especially if they seem to be coming from people with a peculiar and particular point of view that does not relate to a confrontation that happened recently (I don't give a rat's ass about someone getting their panties in a bunch because I suggested that they don't know WTF they are talking about on a message board), that you let me know.

This is NOT so much because I care about the subject matter of the "unkind things," but because I have a "permanent" restraining order against a stalker that has to be renewed every three years if there is ANY violation of the RO - I would like to have any evidence that she has violated this RO, which includes rare prior restraint language in the order; therefore, if anyone sees any post, email or other communication that “is intended to, or otherwise has the effect of harassing, disparaging, intimidating, invading the privacy of, or affecting the reputation of” me or my family, I would appreciate being advised, and a copy of the communication forwarded if available. It could help me get the RO extended - I already have some evidence of her violations (and they are likely to NOT look like they are from her known aliases), but I'd like to get as much ammunition before the judge next year as possible.

The fact is, I believe she is at the very least a sociopath, and I'd like to know whether she is still obsessed with trying to hurt me, rather than letting it go and moving on with her life - because I also still believe she has a gun that she didn't turn in as ordered.

 

[DianaCox]

And Spiky Bugger is one of the smartest, most people-savvy human beings I know, who helped and supported me immensely during a very very difficult time in my life.