I'm sorry about your aunt. I hope you can connect electronically or otherwise with her.
I relate on the weird family stuff, but while my side is just well meaning but crappy communicators, my husbands side always has people that aren't communicating, and want to communicate with our see us, but have it kept from others, or kept only till the last moment or afterward when it will be even more problematic. They have escalating series of these misunderstood, and passive aggressive interactions that have escalated for years.